I wanted to explain why he was wrong.

“But not everyone can love as much as you loved Angelica ...” said Vlad, not concealing disappointment.

- I think that everything, but not everything is solved.

- In terms of?

- I didn’t know what love is like before Angelica. He was drifting, enjoying life. My feelings were superficial. And then I met Angelica. I knew that she would leave, but she was extraordinary, not like everyone else. I was awakened by feelings that no girl before her could wake. Upon learning of her departure, I also wanted to protect myself. After all, I expected that it would be painful to part with it. And it will be all the more painful, the more I give myself to love and all that this girl has caused in me. But I decided. He gave himself everything to her — body, soul, feelings, and mind. When she left, I felt that it all burst into two halves. One stayed with me, and the other in Paris. And it was very painful. But how sweet it was when she arrived and put together the two halves. For this one could suffer much more pain. Now it hurts me too, because she left me. But what is the pain when I knew such happiness. And if I did not dare? If I told myself then that there is nothing to catch in this water, it is muddy. Vaughn go there, there is much easier and easier. I would not know the happiness that I had known with Angelica.

Vlad was even more surprised. It read in his eyes. But now he was no longer angry with me. He was silent for a while, thinking about my words, and then he answered.

- I do not know what to say. After your words, I feel somehow flawed. After all, even though I understand the meaning of all those words that you say to me, I do not know these feelings. Even with Zoya, I had nothing of the kind. Today I really enjoyed this sex. And although with a girlfriend in fact sex is very different from what we have just experienced, yet, for not having the best, I also need it.

- Do not feel defective, because it is not. You are not defective, just your hour has not come yet, or you have not yet decided on true love. The time will come and you will understand me. I just want to say that if you feel that you have found a girl who is different from others, who wakes you up with something that you haven’t even suspected in yourself so far - do not be shy and not be afraid. Surrender to these feelings with your head and heart. This is the only way to know true happiness. And happiness can be known by comparison. I wanted to say thank you.

- For what?

“For showing me this kind of entertainment.” Until today, I suffered and resented Angelica. And today I have forgiven and released her. Katya showed me how happy I was, and how much I could be if I fell in love with someone else. And I realized that I didn’t like such entertainment. There are people who do not like beer and parties. So I do not like mechanical intercourse. I need feelings. And let it be just sympathy and a slight hobby, instead of love, but still it is better than what it was today.

Only easy to say forgiven and let go. In fact, I could not have my feelings for Angelica, but for the first time I really wanted to leave her in the past and start building my life anew. And as they say, there would be a desire, and there will be a way and means.

Soon I learned not to pay attention to my longing for Angelica, but focused on what I could influence and control. But I could control my educational process and could influence relationships with friends, with Vlad and other people, as well as enjoy the pleasure of owning my gift. Since then, he has become for me the center of my universe.

I wanted new sensations and emotions. I have developed a strong habit of going out to people and touching everyone in order to “read” them.Now I didn’t have to take anyone by the hand — it’s enough just to hook them with a shoulder in a crowd or take a ride in a crowded public transport. I even began to make up something like a catalog of those sensations that I happened to intercept from other people. And this occupation fascinated me so much that most of all I began to fear that my gift, which so unexpectedly manifested itself, did not disappear.

And one more important point. I had a lot of friends and buddies, a lot of girlfriends and favorite girls who changed too often, even I recognized it, but I had only one real friend - Vlad. He knew all my secrets, all my fears and joys. Everything except that I have a gift. Probably because when I first tried to explain to him that I felt Angelica’s emotions, he didn’t believe me - I was offended and didn’t want to say anything more. And when I had already figured out myself with my skill, I was already sure that I could quite clearly explain what my gift was - I began to be afraid. It seemed to me that if I told someone about him, he would disappear.

There was a time when I really wanted to spit on the superstition that I invented myself and open up to Vlad. After all, I even told him about Angelica too much, and not only about her, then why not share such good news. “I could discuss with him what I feel. He also enjoys psychology, maybe together we would write a book about it, ”I dreamed. But each time he refused this idea. That moment is not very suitable, then suddenly it became scary - and what if it doesn’t understand all the same? In the end, I finally decided that you should not share your secret with anyone. She did not oppress me; on the contrary, she began to inspire me. Well, if so, then there was no need to share either.

That's how Vlad and I went for the summer holidays. My father agreed that I would take the practice at his company, so I spent a little more than two months at home, without even meeting Vlad once. But we often called up. Once I even confessed to him that I really missed me, that I was missing my best friend, to whom I had become so attached to for two years. He also expressed regret that he did not dare to come to visit me, and in fact he wanted to. Well, okay, somehow tolerate a couple more weeks before the start of the new school year.