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Comment on publication: Red room or prelude to debauchery. Part 4
The author, the idea of the story is clear, but we must follow the level of writing. It is better to reread your stories while watching for errors, and if the thought itself excites you, then you need to learn how to bring it excitingly. Re-read the story without adding anything, and analyze how it excites you.
I put 10 for the efforts and because so you have two stakes slapped. The first two parts are not bad for the first pancake, but the next two were worse.
My theory is that everything develops too easily, for example, it is difficult to imagine the very first experience of a seksvayf in a couple, where a girl who built herself up as a decent or kept her skeletons in the closet, right there on the first group sex says “fuck your little wife while others they did to you in line to stand. ”
The description of sex is too rough and simple, as if she and not the wife is a real prostitute. Too many letters in the description of sex, “drill, fuck machine, suck up gorylychu, the horse stood and tried to get his wife to suck, the piston engine, planted, drove, squirt the stream with a geyser, mustache two fiery streams”. I do not know, the number of these words will not increase excitement. Better related story.
Comment on publication: Legends of a young mother. Prologue: Tanya and neighbor Aslan
Mine open ... can I borrow this interesting interpretation ?: D
Comment on publication: Legends of a young mother. Prologue: Tanya and neighbor Aslan
I plan to write a continuation of this story in a couple of months, sorry. At the moment I have already planned five different stories. A little later I will add the second part. Only two parts of this prose.
Comment on publication: The shabby saddle creaks again
Excellent translation and story. ten.
Comment on publication: Legends of a young mother. Prologue: Tanya and neighbor Aslan
I wrote pigeons, wops ... :) well, let them smoke: D or sparrows tweet)))
Comment on publication: Larisa P. ... modest slut from Omsk. Part 2
10 upfront! I am waiting for the continuation.
Comment on publication: Legends of a young mother. Prologue: Tanya and neighbor Aslan
So these are conclusions from your reviews. You read only about treason, seksvayf and incest. You are a latent lover of this, whether you like it or not;)
Regarding earnings, you looked into my pocket? Or do you see the future of people you do not know? Very interesting...
Comment on publication: Legends of a young mother. Prologue: Tanya and neighbor Aslan
Yes, he is an expert on photos in general. Maybe on the phone to take a picture of a glass sitting at the table and you can hang a picture on the wall. :)
Comment on publication: Legends of a young mother. Prologue: Tanya and neighbor Aslan
Let's expand your words in more detail.
You write about the murder of a husband or lover, I do not know how it will excite the reader. Give me an example of such a story and I will look at the reviews.
Also, you are talking about love, a beautiful description, but only ug comes across? :) so you yourself read only voyeurism, treason and seksvayf. Read drama, romance, choose a popular filter and read :)
By the way interesting, beautiful description - what's this? When superideal girl and man with a huge cock and a beautiful body. And they immediately began to love and they like Boney and Clyde shoot back from all sorts of scoundrels? I remembered the primitive films of the fast and the furious, Mr. and Mrs. Smith, tourist, 007, mission impossible, all films of the unkillable stetheme: D
Immediately I say, I do not write that.In my stories, ordinary people with their shortcomings, but lively topics that people jerk off :)
Comment on publication: Legends of a young mother. Prologue: Tanya and neighbor Aslan
This story is in the category of observers since the year of the observer and the details are only those that he sees, but has the tag Treason. And your comments are very indifferent to the men of the lower classes and to the wives of whores. In addition, Aslan is a chock, which means you don’t even breathe to them.
So you think that the story would be a more realistic and frequent case of life if the boy Anton killed an adult strong uncle? And suppose it would be real in life, would you itself be stirred up by such a story? With murders of lovers or dead husbands? Roskomnadzor will definitely not miss necrophilia :)
You can write in Yandex the name of the site eroticspace, there is a navigation answer that this is a library of Porn Stories. (~. ^,)