- Joke! - Balbes repeated.

- I agree.

- Very well! - Dzhabrail was delighted. - Nina will be very happy.

“So the bride's name is Nina?” - said Shurik.

“Nina,” Jabrail confirmed, looking at a bottle of juice, and added with deliberate carelessness. - My niece.

- Does Nina have a fiance? - with difficulty choosing words, asked the amazed Shurik.

- They adore each other!

Stunned by this news, Shurik turned pale. He fell in love with a charming girl and thought that Nina sympathized with him. Shuriku was very unpleasant that she was going to get married. But, on the other hand, he had no reason to interfere in her personal life. Shurik instantly wanted to participate in the ritual, where he had to give Nina to another with his own hands. Lost in thought, he frantically tried to find a way out of this situation.

- I completely forgot ... I have to tomorrow ..., - began Shurik, but he got confused, unable to find the right words, and honestly admitted. - You excuse me, I can not do it ... no way ...

- Comrade Shurik! - said Jabrail with heartfelt. - Most importantly, Nina asked you to do it.

- Nina asked herself? - asked the astonished Shurik.

- Highly.

Shurik thought. He did not want to participate in the rite, but he could not refuse Nina.

“Tell Nina that I agree,” said Shurik dejectedly, getting up from the table. - Goodbye.

Shocked Shurik headed for the exit, not paying attention to the dancing couples, who at the last second parted in front of him. Jabrail got excited. Innocent folklorist could break everything. He caught up with Shurik and sternly warned him.

- Keep in mind, custom requires that everything be natural. No one knows anything. The bride will resist, kicking and even biting. Call the police, shout: “I will complain to the regional committee!” But you do not pay attention - this is an old and beautiful custom, Jabrail finished solemnly and heartfelt.

- I understand. Do not worry. Everything will be natural, - Shurik assured him. - Goodbye!

Saddened Shurik left the restaurant. He did not suspect that Jabrail came to him to implement the ingenious plan of the groom, who decided not to just compromise him, but also to quarrel with Nina forever.

As soon as Shurik left the room, the satisfied Dzhabrail excitedly performed a strange lezginka hybrid with a twist.

The first rays of the Sun lit a pennant on a flagpole of a mountaineering base. Climbers slept under a rock in sleeping bags. “Kunaks” poked out from behind the cliffs, watching with excitement Shurik, who was crawling among sleeping bags and looking at the faces of sleeping boys and girls, trying to find Nina. Finally, his searches were crowned with success.

Nina calmly rested in a sleeping bag. Beside her sat a saddened Shurik. Lost in thought, he peered at the sweet face of the girl. On the one hand, he did not want to give Nina into the hands of a mysterious groom, but on the other hand, Shurik wanted Nina to be happy. His accomplices in silence with vigorous gestures prompted him. The coward pulled the hat off his head, grabbed it and threw it on his shoulder. Experienced hands showed how to grab the girl, and Balbes twisted his finger to his temple. Finally Shurik decided and dragged the bag with Nina, who dreamed of a beautiful romantic dream about a knight on a white horse. Suddenly, the girl opened her eyes and saw Shurik, not really understanding, he appeared in a dream or reality.

- Shurik! - she smiled affably.

- Shh! - Shurik quietly squeaked, continuing to drag Nina further.

- What are you doing? - Nina laughed, finally waking up.

“Just don't have to say anything,” Shurik warned her quietly.

He had already dragged the sleeping bag with Nina at a sufficient distance from the climbing base.Shurik stopped and threw a long sad look at Nina, who took everything that was happening as a romantic adventure.

- What's wrong with you? She asked, surprised.

“I came to say goodbye to you,” said Shurik tragically.

- Goodbye, Shurik! - the girl said goodbye and closed her eyes in anticipation of a kiss.

Shurik crouched beside Nina, leaned over her and whispered softly.

- Farewell, Nina! Be happy.

“Goodbye, goodbye,” Nina said briskly, without opening her eyes and exposing her cheek for a kiss.

With a stone face, Shurik bent down and ... quickly fastened his sleeping bag. Before Nina realized what had happened, she was in the hands of three bosom friends. Trinity, with difficulty holding the wriggling and kicking bag, headed for the red cabriolet. Drooping his head low, Shurik trudged along with his faithful donkey, watching the Kunaks trying to shove a kicking bag into the car. Suddenly, due to the turn, a tanned policeman on a motorcycle drove off.

- What's happening? The policeman demanded an explanation, slowing down next to Shurik.

"Kunaki" turned cold with horror. The experienced bitten lip, feverishly wondering what to do. The coward pulled his cap over his eyes and pretended to be a rag.

“They stole the bride, comrade foreman,” Shurik answered innocently, confident that he had participated in the ceremony.

The coward felt bad. Experienced doomed began to raise his hands. But not lost, Balbes, turning away, deftly imitated the bleating of a ram.

- Joker, - the militiaman laughed. - You will fry kebabs from this bride, do not forget to invite!

The policeman disappeared as suddenly as he appeared. The red car of the kidnappers abruptly pulled away, leaving behind him puffs of white smoke and the scent of gasoline. Heartbroken Shurik, silently, looked after the retreating car, which took away his beloved.

A red convertible with a figure of a running deer on the hood was rapidly racing along a brand-new asphalt highway framed by black and white posts and multi-colored road signs. Turning off him, he headed for a secluded cottage in the mountains. The car was already waiting for Jabrail, standing at the open gate. As soon as the car drove into the yard, he quickly and tightly closed the gate. Nina became a Caucasian captive.

Chapter 5. Locked Up

Pollock was ready to go in search of Shurik when, unexpectedly, he knocked on the door of the house of Jabrail. The guy brought a scarf, which she tied around his neck Nina. Wriggling in the hands of her niece's scarf, Saida honestly told the naive Shurika about the abduction of Nina. He was depressed and upset.

- So it was not a rite ... Was it really stolen? - Shurik asked absentmindedly and threateningly posed the question, but he immediately recalled guiltily. - Who stole? Oh yes ... Who is the groom?

“Women sometimes find out about it only at a wedding,” said Sayda sadly.

- Wedding will not be! - loudly promised an angry Shurik. - I stole it, I'll return it and!

He quickly ran out of the house and, jumping over the railing of the stairs, and in the classic cowboy style jumped straight into the saddle of his ass. But the offended donkey, despite all the moaning, stood rooted to the spot. No power in the world would have made him move. Shurik threw a stubborn donkey and, not sparing his legs, rushed to the police.

Shurik, breathless, was ready to enter the building of the police station, but he was stopped by a surprised exclamation of Comrade Saakhov. Shurik turned and rushed to the black Volga car standing on the sidewalk.

- Crime ... stolen ...

- Is your ass stolen? Yes? - Comrade Saakhov tried to joke.

- Well no! A girl ... Nina was kidnapped ... I am the only witness! - explained breathless Shurik and again tried to go to the police.

Comrade Saakhov abruptly grabbed his arm and stuffed him into the car.

- No, you are not a witness, you are a kidnapper, a criminal! - blurted out comrade Saakhov.

- Well, I did not know! - justified Shurik.

- What a shame, what a shame! I swear, honestly! - Comrade Saakhov was pathetically indignant. - For the whole area! I will personally deal with this matter.This mysterious groom is an insignificant scoundrel! ... Read more →