(based on the movie of the same name)

Chapter 1. Introduction

In the distance from the noisy and bustling stream of modern cars in a remote area of ​​Georgia, a narrow mountain road was looped, framed by black and white columns and multi-colored road signs. Slowly on it, a heavily loaded gray donkey, on which a slender young man with thick glasses sat lightly, sat on it. He viewed the surrounding landscape with great interest: dark centuries-old canyons and mossy overhanging cliffs. Sometimes the rider crossed small streams, which, flowing from high peaks, turned into rapidly running streams of water. Gradually, the road went downhill. Rocks reluctantly gave way to green vegetation.

The appearance of the rider gave him a city dweller. It was Shurik from far Moscow. He studied in one of the countless institutions of the capital, and during his holidays he went to Georgia to collect local folklore: legends, tales, toasts.

Carried away by local beauty, Shurik did not notice how he approached the old sanitary truck, perched on the side of the road. His swarthy driver, a peer of Shurik, standing on the wing of a truck, was actively digging into the engine, trying to find an elusive breakdown. The driver was dressed in a plain shirt and trousers. On his head was a typical headdress of the locals - a cap, from which black hair peeped out.

Specific odors coming from the car, came to taste donkey. He stopped. Despite the desperate prodding of Shurik, the donkey refused to go on. Continuing to tinker with the engine, the driver of the truck indulgently glanced at the amusing rider trying to force the stubborn donkey to continue on his way. Shurik smiled shyly in response. Having pushed the cap over his forehead, the driver spat out the butt with disdain and turned his back to Shurik, fumbling more vigorously in the engine.

With a thoughtful look Shurik got down from the ass. Pulling the bridle, he tried to move the donkey from its place. To no avail. Meanwhile, the driver, pulling the crank out of the booth, frantically twirled it. Drops of sweat appeared on his tanned face. Suddenly, the motor came to life for a moment, sneezing and rumbling with displeasure. The driver started turning the knob even faster. There was a loud bang, the flash and the motor again ceased to show signs of life. Cap driver rubbed his sweaty face, which flashed a grimace of anger, despair and fatigue.

Shurik generously came to the aid of an unlucky chauffeur. Together they started to push an old sanitary truck. In vain. He stood rooted to the spot. The driver in nobility did not yield Shurik. He, in turn, rushed to the stubborn ass, pushing him in the ass. Shurik, who came in time, struggled to pull the donkey by the bridle, but the little donkey did not move.

Finally angered the heated Highlander, the door of the car, which did not want to close. Vigorously gesticulating, he burst into a raging tirade.

- Damn that day when I sat behind the wheel of this vacuum cleaner!

“Well, do not despair,” Shurik encouraged him.

- It was not for nothing that the great and wise Abu-Akhmat-Ibn-Bey, the first driver of this car, said: Edik, bear in mind ... - realizing that he had not introduced himself, the driver interrupted his angry monologue and extended his callous hand to Shurik - Edik.

“Sasha,” Shurik answered politely, shaking his hand.

The driver immediately continued his passionate monologue, waving his arms animatedly.

- ... consider, Edik, he said, one Allah knows where the spark of this unworthy geek in a glorious family of internal combustion engines goes. May his carburetor wither for ever and ever!

Suddenly he fell silent. His offended, discontented face changed. A happy smile appeared on it, which is becoming wider and wider every second. He pulled the cap over his forehead and sat up.His spellbound gaze was directed away. Shurik turned, and a smile blossomed on his face, too, and his eyes had the same admiring expression as Edik.

While they were busy with their naughty vehicles, they were inexorably approached by a beautiful stranger, wearing a red, black and white dress and white sharp-nosed sandals. Her smooth skin is slightly tanned. The thin fabric of the dress tightly covered the chest. Continuous oncoming wind gusts disheveled her dark hair and made the dress tightly fit her gorgeous legs. Slender with a thin waist and wide hips, she looked not just sexy, but as a deity, descended to the mortal Earth.

Edik and Shurik opened their eyes wide with delight. The girl was already accustomed to such a reaction and calmly walked past the dumbfounded travelers, modestly lowering her eyes and erotically wagging her hips. Edik and Shurik felt the intoxicating and exciting aroma of her perfume. They could not tear the admiring glance from the dazzling stranger who was so stunning that the motor of the truck started up by itself. With a cough, the car rolled slowly behind the girl. Beside him, like a pet dog, a lolly donkey was dragged.

The awakened guys rushed each to his vehicle. Shurik deftly jumped on the donkey, and Edik, on the move, opened the door of the car, climbed into the booth. Sanitary truck picked up speed. Edik, looking out of the car, sent a passionate air kiss to the girl, which she defiantly ignored. Speeding up, the truck disappeared around the bend.

On the desert road formed a strange procession consisting of a girl, Shurik and his enchanted donkey. First a stranger strolled leisurely. As if tied, it was followed by a donkey, on which sat a contented Shurik. Inhaling the fresh mountain air and enjoying the bird's cheerful chirping, he admired the girl's graceful gait and sexually quivering buttocks.

Suddenly the stranger slowed down. The donkey also slowed down, following at a distance of several meters. The girl noticed that the funny rider could well overtake her, but did not. She sped up the steps, the donkey began to seed faster, maintaining the distance he had set. Of course, the girl couldn’t even think that she was pursued not by Shurik, but by an enchanted donkey.

Seeing to the right of the road thick thickets of prickly bushes, the stranger instantly matured a plan on how to teach the annoying impudent person a lesson. She turned around. Shurik still followed her. Grinning cunningly, the girl promptly rushed into the thorny dogwood thickets, in the place where there was a barely noticeable path. Ishak rushed after her, completely ignoring Shurik's pathetic attempts to stop him. Having run along the winding path, the girl returned to the side of the road again. Quickly shaking off, she continued on her way. A few seconds later, a stubborn donkey jumped out onto the road, on which Shurik sat backwards, all tortured and choked off by the cornel branches. Shurik, a donkey and his luggage were abundantly covered with leaves and sprigs of shrubs. Swiftly jumping off the donkey, Shurik frantically shaken off his green vegetation.

“Forgive me, please,” the excited Shurik shouted to the stranger, “I have a big request for you ...”

“Please,” the girl with an innocent face turned to him, hardly hiding a smile at the sight of Shurik with dogwood leaves on her clothes.

- ... you can ask to go only along the highway, without turning anywhere.

- Why is that? - the girl was surprised.

“My donkey is following you like a tied up,” Shurik explained to her.

- Donkey?! - not a bit disbelieving youth, asked the girl.

- Well yes! - hot confirmed Shurik.

“So he pursued me?” - the girl was indignant.

- Is he! Is he! - Shurik shouted indignantly, swinging at the donkey.

- But I thought...

- Not! - Shurik resolutely interrupted her, while pointing the finger at the donkey. - Is he!

Shurik slightly flushed and looked so ridiculous and touching that the girl laughed loudly. Shurik laughed with her.

- Tell me, are you from here?

- I came to my aunt for the holidays.

- I'm on a business trip. ...