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Comment on publication: Molotov cocktail
Dear Anfisa T,
In this story there are two endings: author and reader. Here is how the reader responded (part-time customer) about the author’s ending (second story, starting from the middle of the 9th page, if you're interested):
“It is written very well, but somehow darkly (poor family, indifference of parents, etc.). the outcome is completely vicious. Pure household drama. I would certainly prefer a second, more frivolous, option in which Katya is gently but aggressively pushing for sex. Without violence, threats and humiliation. ”
After that, I wanted to write exactly this “frivolous version”. The result was a second story (starting from the middle of the 15th page). This second option turned out to be:
“Oooh, great !!!
Separate respect for the description of erotic scenes and dialogues !!! Very cool. (would be happy if you added a little more sex with Olya!)
P. with. Is there a possibility to attach a more similar (softer) ending to the first story (I really liked the image of Kati. Right at all ”
This wish, as you understand, finally finished me :):
“Throw out all dill from the first, shove everything pink from the second. Extend scenes of sex with Olga, add the perspective of Olya in sex. "
And then it turned out Venegret (first story, 9.5 pages).
Experience with the customer showed that I don’t understand a damn thing in the reader’s fantasies :) Your feedback is a confirmation of this. By the way, the final Venegret deserved a positive comment:
"Yes, everything is very even."
Comment on publication: Molotov cocktail
So be it ... Now you can read all three versions of the story. Actually, the second begins in the middle of the ninth page of the ST, the third - in the middle of the fifteenth.
Comment on publication: Molotov cocktail
Initially, there were two stories on a given topic (the same plot, the perspective from the third person and from the first). Then I had to glue two stories into one. The name of the heroine was Katya or Olya. I apologize for this error of proofreading.
Comment on publication: Molotov cocktail
It's hard to write to order. Two stories: one is garbage, the other is too short. And then it is molded "not convincing." We must tie with the order :) Thanks for the opinion.
Comment on publication: Distributor. Chapters 23-24. Epilogue
Seek and find.
Comment on publication: Chill out Vasya!
Is it rather sexwife than cuckold or not? Your elements may well be dofantized. It’s not known how Andryusha met his wife after sex. In any case, the topic has exhausted itself, there will be no continuation.
Comment on publication: Chill out Vasya!
Everything is very simple. The hero does not sleep with married - this time. The hero does not sleep without love - that's two. The hero succumbed to temptation and regretted it very much. He was disappointed in Vasya, if I may say so.
Comment on publication: Chill out Vasya!
The intrigue completely disappears when the hero enters the relationship you described. Because Nikiforov precisely this and sought from him. There is no end to your ending. This is a flaccid attenuation in triangular debauchery. The moral of "before the power of beauty and passion, no one will stand," and so shown in this story. After all, the hero could not resist. Sex in this case is not a tool, but a goal, which was achieved by all interested parties.
Comment on publication: Chill out Vasya!
Very interesting. And what ending would you like?
Comment on publication: Happy new year dear friends!
The stranger lowered her hands, presented in all its glory.
- Do you want me to help you undress? - She said, embarrassed watching the guy's reaction, holding back so as not to giggle.
Stas smiled at the corner of his lips, his eyes quickly filled with brilliance, a desire to contemplate. A tempting offer excited by an abundance of developments. The forms of the girl, her golden curls, falling on her shoulders and chest, her angelic face, which expressed either languor or lack of self-confidence, opened up a vast scope for fantasy.
“Take your time,” he said in a slightly hoarse voice. - will you dance for me?
She nodded happily, stretching in a smile. He handed her a glass of champagne, and while the beauty was studying the soft aftertaste of sparkling wine, he dimmed the light, turned on slow music.
In the twinkling of the garlands, she moved for him in the dance.
The charming silhouette of the girl filled the room with magic, her mysterious smile carried STAS into the world of dreams.
He plunged behind her, became part of the love she composed songs to, dissolved into the music of her dance. She became for him a muse, an inspiration for happiness, of which he had only dreamed. She became a reality for him.