- Umkoy they call me. North Pole we.

Having said such a fiery speech, Umka for a couple with Umachka, his wife, broke all the ice into a sparkling crumb. Having thus freed the steamer from the shackles of icy silence, they allowed the iceberg to drift in milliliters from the vehicle of my heroes.

The tale slowly affects, and the matter is even more slowly done. Saying goodbye to Umka and Umachka, the ship, driven by the hand of Providence, moved further to the notorious center, where even the standing hours show the exact time. Though half past five, even 12 zero-zero ...

Having passed the North Pole, my heroes directed the wheels of their steamer to the shores of sultry Ukraine. Quiet Dnieper in case of wonderful weather ... not every beast swims to its middle. And even more so the bird will fly ... In the midst of open clouds, a creature suddenly appeared chubby. The size of his prohibitively large body was approximately equal to that grief that did not go to Mahomet. Bottom-free and bezruche compensated huge weight and volume.

“Who is such a ...,” began the standard greeting, Kostik.

“Gingerbread Man,” the yellow-colored creature interrupted, “I left my grandmother and left my grandfather, and if I’ve pumped your ship, there will be no chips!” We stick to the bank and make a report.

Ride a couple of times on the ship with its heavy weight, Kolobok, really turned it into slivers.

- Shozh you bastard do? - Elven princess was furious, how can we now freeze the maiden?

Aiming at the creation’s round-eye creature, she pressed the trigger a couple of times. The force-whistling mines flew three meters from a spherical creature that quickly rolled away.

- And why did not immediately say. About missy? - asked the ball with the pyramid of Cheops.

- So you can’t say a word! Darn rubber product, - the traveler got angry at fairy tales.

- OK OK! Do not swear! I will help you.

Whistling like a robber, so that travelers almost went deaf, the former edible product provided a flying vehicle in the form of a fire-breathing three-headed dragon with a carriage on its back. Thanks for saying goodbye to Kolobk, the seekers flew to Africa, where, according to a reasonable ball, the evil Dwarves hid Snegurochka.

- It seems the goal is as close as ever? - asked Kostik, thrusting his hand into the panties of his beloved.

“Maybe you're right,” responding in the same way, the Elfma agreed.

While they were experiencing unearthly love, diversifying its erotic postures, referred to in 69, 11 and 53 numerology, the aircraft carried them to the banks of the Nile, Congo or Niger.

Having finished their business and travel, the seekers asked the three-headed to set fire to the fire from immediately selected logs and twigs.

Having burned the meat of an unknown, scaly, green beast, which tried to turn aliens into supper, on the coals, my heroes argued who they had eaten.

- In my opinion, it was a crocodile, - said Nastya.

“And I think the snake,” Kostya retorted.

- Found something to argue about, - the creature that appeared from nowhere quipped.

Krivonogosti, stoop and a strange kind of hat in a compartment with a shabby camisole and women's shoes with bows, gave him the leader of pirates - Barmaley. Vrungel standing next to him and the boatswain Lom supplemented the idyllic picture.

- Znachitsa, liking the Snow Maiden cornered, liberators, your mother, was greeted by their captain Bedey.

“Che like that,” Constantine greeted him.

- Do you know that there is a diocese of Aibolit? “Raising his eyebrows in surprise,” said Lom.

- This is an animal doctor, or what? Enlighten - asked Nastya.

- Rather brutal! - burst out laughing out of the woods, - he will treat you!

Turning, the trio disappeared behind the browning trees. After a short period of time, the crash of breaking boughs, the cries of "Ulu-liu, woof and uti-ways," announced an inhospitable forest.

- This is an attack! - Exclaimed Nastya, dropping playful hands, his partner, inadvertently climbed into the bra of her darling

Sharply accepting the fighting stance, the princess with a flaming gaze and a mortar in her hands was probably an eerie sight for the attackers. Unfortunately, this was not the case.

The fight was not long. Monkeys, wolves, snakes, hippos, tigers and lions did not give a single shot to my heroes. Quickly and deftly zahomut them dragged into the realm of Dr. Aibolit.

- Untie them! - greeted his army, gray-haired wearing platinum-rimmed glasses, studded with diamonds, Doc.

His robe, consisting of an ermine fur coat strewn with diamonds of pure water, suggested that he did not live very badly. The snow-white doctor's cap did not fit into the ensemble, but it assumed that the doctor was probably in front of you.

- What are your dear guests? - Speaking from behind the medical worker, one of the twelve asked.

The fact that this Dwarf did not have to doubt. His small stature and idiotic hat with bells, were one hundred percent confirmation.

- We are on the right path, Nastya whispered, - Snow Maiden is here. Kolobok did not deceive.

“Not sure,” the guy whispered through his teeth.

- What are you whispering there ?! - Answer the question posed, the Dwarf shouted evil.

“Keep quiet,” the Princess hissed.

“Silence,” answered the lad.

“We'll have to treat them,” the doctor sang, smiling sweetly, “I think the sodium atomic with caffeine will untie their tongues.”

Having dragged the resisting warriors-liberators to the medical chairs, the said drug was immediately injected into the friends, a lie detector was connected and the interrogation began.

Five minutes later, Nastya and Kostya told not only the goal of their mission, but also the variety of poses in which they indulged in love. Their whole story was laid out on the shelves and in minutes, recorded on laser discs, so that later grateful listeners could enjoy eloquent descriptions of their adventures.

Completely squeezed like a couple of lemons, they threw them into the zindan, after giving them a couple of moldy cakes and a plastic bottle filled with water smelling of mud.

- It seems like a mouse! - in fear cried Nastya, clinging to her lover.

- You are the mouse! Damn striped! Call me Thumbelina, - said the creation of a growth in two matchboxes, coming out from around the corner ...

“Well, ask your questions,” said the little girl, straightening her hair and sitting on Kostin’s hand.

- Why are dwarves 12, not 7? - asked the giant for Thumbelina.

- They were joined by 10 of the “Black Kingdom”, they converted two of them into their faith, and drove five away.

- And what about Snow White?

- How deprived of her virginity, as if it had been replaced. Mercantile spirit and rushing from all the cracks of her blond body. In addition, 12 lovers, it is not enough for her. More precisely, the tales of gipersexual gnomes are greatly exaggerated. These cute creatures with a bad temper can only bells ring.

- And you, how do you know?

- Yes, they are all stumps old! - laughed baby.

“She is right,” Nastya confirmed.

- Each time, I learn amazing details from your biography! - surprised looking at his ally, said ally.

- Well, it was a couple of adventures in youth. I just want to experience the unknown and the beautiful.

- Well, just do not start! “Having thrown a little foot on Kostina's palm, it brought up a tiny creature, - do you want me to take you to the kingdom of dwarves?” Where are the Snow Maiden hiding?

- We wish! - in unison exclaimed seekers ice girl.

- Then become cancer! And follow me! Mole ... Mole! But where are you deaf tetera? !!

The ensuing shabarish in a dark corner, marked the appearance of the Mole to the people. The conductor, blind-eyed, squinting and constantly repeating the unknown word to Konstantin: "Ech?" Read more →