From the wall stuck the head of a deer. The absurdity of what is happening, was also in what she said!

- Konstantin Ivanovich Petrov? - The horned subject has taken an interest.

- In the morning, at least, they called me that, - looking askance at an open bottle of cognac, the individual of the male sex, aged fifteen years, mechanically answered.

The guy had no luck in life. His parents took off to celebrate New Year in America, giving the old child at his disposal for two weeks the whole apartment. All favored for the onset of the feast of life. However, fate mocked Kostya. His beloved hid in the direction of the camp site, where, with their relatives, they traditionally celebrated this holiday every year. With friends, too, came out a full paragraph. One drove off to the grandmother, the other was going to honor the family circle. The third was unavailable for cellular communication.

Showing the TV proudly upturned middle finger of the hand, the window, the half-bent hand fisting over the World, symbolizing something popular among the masses, Konstantin, depicting the age-old Russian figure of three fingers, opened the refrigerator and said the sacramental phrase: “Well, to hell with you!” took out a bottle of cognac and proceeded to parting with the old year. He did not manage to say goodbye. After the third glass, a talking deer head popped out of the wall.

- You are the chosen one! - Delightedly declared the head. You have the honor to save the world ...

- And in short, can not? - the guy interrupted the admiring beast, In short: what is my mission, what weapon, ultimate goal, and whom to save at the same time.

- This is not a computer game for you, - the speaker was indignant, - it is necessary to save the Snow Maiden from the insidious dwarfs who kidnapped Santa Claus's ice mistress. He himself is in a hospital with a heart attack. So the New Year this time may not be! You Constantine had a unique opportunity to save the world!

- Heh! Finally! Get drunk with three glasses! I am talking with hallucination!

Konstantin closed his eyes and counted to ten, otmzmuril one. The head has not disappeared. Moreover, it has progressed. And now the stately deer stood in the room. From his open mouth he poured, it is not clear why, steam.

- I am right now butt you in the belly with a horn so as not to call names! So you go?

- And, of course, - the guy was a little frightened, - but where and what should I take with me?

“Follow me,” said the talking animal, you don't need to take anything, everything is there.

Kostya followed the deer, without any doubt that he would hit the wall. However, what was his surprise when, having taken only one step, he got into the fairy-tale world. It was snowing. Beautiful butterflies the size of an earthy magpie, fluttered here and there. On closer examination, it turned out to be elves. Each individual had a small crystal wand in her hand, which sparkled while emitting a magical chime. The guy did not feel the cold at all, although his clothes consisted of shorts and a T-shirt.

The deer has gone somewhere. The elf, who had flown up to the lad, showed in the direction of a snow-covered building, remotely resembling a palace with a crystal wand, squeaked:

- We go there. You have been waiting for a long time.

Drowning his ankles in warm snow, Constantine moved after the fluttering creature. A strong north wind blew, gently stroking the guy's face. Throwing armfuls of warm snow flakes more like poplar fluff, made the boy sneeze loudly.

- You are not cold? - the conductor inquired attentively.

- Probably not. Tickled.

- Now, I will adjust ...

The wind instantly subsided, the snow stopped falling and pressed into a flat road. Quickly reaching the snow-covered building, Kostya opened the door and entered the hall. The fabulous decoration consisted of strange furniture and a heap of fountains in which funny mermaids frolicked. In the middle of the room stood a huge throne studded with burgundy velvet. A golden fish was lying on it.Nodding his head slightly, the river creation said:

- Come on ...

Kostya, maneuvering between the fountains from which the laughing mermaids poured him with water, finally got to the royal rookery wet from head to toe.

- Konstantin! - the golden creation solemnly declared, - to you, the only one of the seven hundred quadro-fifths-heptalians of the people of our Galaxy, had the honor of delivering money to the destination.

- Did the deer talk about the Snow Maiden?

- Dumb! This is a ransom!

- And what about the name immediately? - the angry guy said, - I’m not going to see that you are golden, as I kicked now, and you give the mermaids your head, they poured it from head to toe!

“Okay, okay, don't boil,” the fish said conciliatingly. So are you ready ?! The world is waiting for the New Year! In your hands all his destiny! He may not come!

“This is the crazy stuff that carries this fish. Without me, they cannot cope here! ”Thought the elect, and said out loud:

- Always ready! Maps, weapons, descriptions of enemies, friends, missions.

- Ek, you turned! Here you are not a computer toy. And life, with all its realities! On your hard way and meet the heat and cold! You are awaited by mosquito bites and snakes. Can you bother to become a breakfast or a dinner of a crocodile or a ferocious tiger. Who knows who knows. Or maybe you will fall on the battlefield at the hands of a glorious warrior!

- No, I do not play! I still want to live!

- Dying here, you will return to your apartment and continue to get drunk with your cognac. But you will remember your shame! - angrily pronounced fish.

- And how many lives?

“One here, one there,” grinned the fish, “your guide will go with you ...”

- And how much was before me?

- You better not know. Here she is! Pointing at the door, the goldfish nodded.

The door opened. A smiling elf entered the room. Her height, now was human. Wings as unnecessary absent. Delicate, peach-colored skin was delicious. Carmine lips or when not knowing lipstick were beautiful. The gold flowing curls, could envy any earthly woman. Her emerald eyes, beckoned, fascinated, and drowned in their depths the hearts of many and many ...

Then the guy could not be considered, the angelic voice, poured from the beautiful mouth of a beautiful woman, briefly distracted him from contemplating her charms.

“We have to hurry,” she smiled, showing snow-white teeth that were never touched by Colgate, “My name is Nastya,” with a hand extended, the conductor introduced herself.

After shaking the little warm pen of the amazing creature, Constantine followed her, forgetting for a moment about talking deer, goldfish and mermaid wreckers.

Outside, they were met with a burning cold. Now the thorny snow stuck into his face. Legs fell ankle-deep in cold snow, quickly froze.

- Run soon, this fish, forever wiser.

Grabbing the guy by the hand, Nastya briskly jumped, pulling her bare legs out of the shackles of snow. Running up to the third hut, they broke into the twilight and cold of an empty dwelling.

- Rather, make a fire! - cried the girl, - otherwise we will die here.

- But as? - The novice hero asked, unsuccessfully slapping the empty pockets of shorts, there, as usual, there were no matches or a lighter. After all, he did not smoke.

- Which of us is a man, you or me? - angrily asked, the former winged creature, - if after five minutes, it will not be warm here, we will ditch here! But before I strangle you! Or do hara-kiri.

Her unpainted nails began to lengthen, steel, turned into a cold weapon.

Come on, shirk them, ”said the guy, not frightened at all, the guy grabbing several newspapers from the shelf.

- Why is this? - the beauty was amazed, however, she shouted.

A sheaf of sparks, having woken up on the paper on time, ignited it. Warning firewood left in the fireplace flared up, bringing life-giving warmth to the hut. Five minutes later it was warm enough that the bloodthirsty fury would abandon its original plan.

“You deserve a kiss,” said the beautiful woman, coming to her seat on the already warm floor of the chosen one. Crouching ...