I am on business by stone chambers. Nesmeyana saw me and invited me to her, laid the table, treated me. I ate a pie, three pickled cucumbers, drank two glasses of milk, three liters of vodka, one and a half liters of jelly. I think that poisoned with a pie.

Damn snapped his fingers. Immediately appeared several young demons, which are about something joked with the devil. Then the imps disappeared as suddenly as they appeared.

- Funny you guy! - grinned goblin. - Stay, Vanka, I'll find you such a kikimor, you will lick your fingers. With the clitoris, as it should.

“Let's drink to our favorite Kikimore,” the devil said a third time.

The men took glasses from the table. Suddenly, a woman appeared in front of them, dressed in the style of a goblin.

- Kikimora! - happily exclaimed the drunken Ivan the Fool.

- What am I like to be a kikimora? Alkash damn! - screaming leshachikha at Ivan, and then pounced on the devil. - It was worth leaving for a while, but he drank vodka and dreamed about kikimoras!

“This is the wretched wife,” whispered the devil in his ear Ivan the Fool. - Dump!

The devil quickly drank vodka and quickly snapped his fingers. Damn and Ivan the Fool returned. The same clearing, the same fallen birch. Is that the thorn gone somewhere and the moon disappeared behind the clouds. Grieved Ivan the Fool than ever before.

- What are you, Ivan, sad? The devil asked, with a smile from ear to ear.

- But have you stolen the clitoris? Ivan the Fool asked suspiciously, annoyed more and more, looking at the smiling devil, and then he could not resist and grabbed him by the breast. - Yes, I'll carry you over the bumps, so that the scraps of the small streets will fly!

- Do not bumps, Ivan! I know where the clitoris is. He is in such a place that, just a word, I don’t know how to tell you - the devil stopped smiling, leaned over and whispered something to Ivan the Fool in his ear.

“Now you can return to the library,” Ivan the Fool rejoiced, letting go of the devil. - How could I not be late?

- Easy, Vanya. Now we organize everything.

Suddenly I heard a melodic bell. The devil pulled out an old gold watch from a coat. Ivan the Fool froze in suspense.

- Pancake! I'm in paradise for an interview late! - the devil swore a three-story mat and disappeared.

- Heck! How can I get to the library without you ?! - Ivan the fool shouted louder and louder in despair. - Heck!!! Heck!!! Heck!!!

From the bushes jumped sporty guy in his shorts.

- Do not you think that screaming "damn" at night in a dark fairy-tale forest - this is not the most sensible thing you could think of? - Politely asked the guy.

“I'm a fool ...” began Ivan the Fool.

“This is noticeable,” interrupted his boyfriend.

“Vanya, I ...,” Ivan the Fool tried to explain.

- And I am Ivan, - the guy was surprised, sniffing. - Yeah, of course, namesake! You're drunk?

“No, I'm a little drunk,” Ivan the Fool disagreed. - I was looking for a clitoris ...

- And you?! - the impatient guy was amazed.

At this time, the bushes began to move.

“Well, soon you will be there,” the half-naked girl exclaimed with displeasure, but when she saw Ivan the Fool she was embarrassed and laughed shyly.

- This is ... my colleague ... yes ... we ... er ... entomologists, - the guy was embarrassed, but quickly pulled himself together, - currently we are studying the influence of moonlight on the growth of representatives of the order of Hymenoptera period.

- Good luck with your study of Hymenoptera, but I'm late to the library! - hurried Ivan the Fool, noticing the moon peering out from behind the clouds.

“Just think, a problem,” the guy rejoiced, whistling three times and shouting. - Sivka-burka, broadcasting kaurka! Stand in front of me like a leaf in front of grass!

Suddenly there was a gust of wind, in the center of which was a humpbacked horse. The horse fell on the grass in front of Ivan.

“Sit down, namesake, he joins you in the moment to the library,” the guy said with relief. - Goodbye.

“Goodbye, entomologists,” said Ivan the Fool.

“Have a good trip,” came a contented female voice from the bushes.

Ivan the Fool sat down on the Humpbacked Horse Skate, which stood on its paws, started, snored, and flew with an arrow. Before Ivan the Fool had time to come to his senses, the fad delivered him to his destination. No one unnoticed, Ivan penetrated the library.

“Dawn is nearing, but the clitoris is not there,” came a pleasant female voice.

- Vanechka has vanished, - Cinderella sniffed sadly, - poor thing.

“Probably, it was stolen by the thief of the clitoris,” suggested Little Red Riding Hood.

“Then Vanya and the clitoris will not be bored together,” Vasilisa the Beautiful joked and added with conviction. - All men are womanizer!

“Eh, I can't see my clitoris like my ears,” said the princess Nesmeyana sadly, through tears.

“To make the clitoris appear, you must rub pi ...,” said Aladdin thoughtfully.

- I'll rub you! - Jasmine heartily slapped Aladina in the face.

Ivan the Fool approached the girls. Tsarevna Nesmeyana stopped crying.

“Vanya, you scared us,” Cinderella sighed with relief.

“Easy to speak of,” Malvina grumbled.

- How did you go to Baba Yaga? - Vasilisa the Beautiful asked tenderly.

- Ivan came, not waiting, not called, turned the hut - woke up the old woman! - answered Ivan the fool.

- Where is my clit? - Princess Nesmeyana arrogantly asked.

- Pustomelya !!! - instead of answering, Ivan the Fool screamed fiercely at Princess Nesmeianu. - Not where your clitoris did not disappear !!!

The characters of the books began to rustle and whistle. Elena the Wise took a carafe of water, waiting for a fight. Cat Scientist prudently silent. Professor Preobrazhensky with all his strength kept Sharikov, who was eager to make a mess.

“No, he disappeared,” stunned Princess Nesmeyana.

- Show me! - insisted Ivan the Fool.

- What do you mean, show? - the princess Nesmeyana got angry. - I will not show anything! I'm a princess after all.

“But I don’t care,” Ivan the Fool continued. - Show me!

- Do not be rude, Ivan! - with indignation shouted Jasmine.

- Keep calm! - the Red Riding Hood was indignant.

- Behave yourself! - Vasilisa the Beautiful demanded.

“Let him show,” supported Ivan Thumbelina, but no one paid attention to her.

“Vanya, you can't talk like that to a girl,” Malvina shamed him.

“Why was it sent so far?” - Ivan-fool shouted with insult in his voice.

- Nesmeyanushka, you have lost the clitoris? - softly asked Elena the Wise, astutely studying the face of the princess Nesmeyany.

“No, he is there,” the princess Nesmeyana admitted sadly and spoke ardently in justification. - I was bored! I wanted to finally make me laugh, and all of you just mocked me ...

- Yeah, confessed! - exulted Ivan the Fool.

“... and I don't have a boyfriend,” after a pause, the princess Nesmeyana sadly added and sobbed.

Ivan the Fool glanced at the crying princess and ... his anger was gone. He saw in front of him not a person of royal blood, but an unfortunate girl with problems. What is special about wandering around the magic forest at night and talking with the wickedness? For a fairytale hero - a trifling matter. You must love a girl no matter how she is: loud, kind, wise, frivolous, cheerful or capricious. And every real man is ready for everything for her, and even a clitoris to look for is for a sweet soul. It is a pity that the princesses are waiting for the prince on a white horse and do not pay attention to the fool on the hunchbacked horse. Although in any preface to the tale it is written that Ivan is not a fool at all, and the horse-humpback horse will give odds to any stallion ...

Ivan did not have time to say about this Nesmeyane. The first ray of the sun appeared. Characters subsided. In the door lock grated the key. Maybe something else will happen here, but it will be another tale. And this - the end, who listened well done!