Professor Preobrazhensky managed to cover Sharikov’s mouth.

- ... nothing to smell! - finished Sharikov.

- This is not enough! - Princess Nesmeyana defiantly turned away.

- Stop yelling! - Jasmine was indignant. - We are discussing a serious question, and you arranged a circus! Professor, calm down. Go walk with animals better.

Cat Scientist threw a deadly look at Jasmine, which she ignored. Professor Preobrazhensky nodded his head in agreement and, slowly walking into the distance, entered into a dispute with the Cat Scientist, demonstrating simply outstanding knowledge in the field of the clitoris. Outraged by Sharikov trudged alongside them, from time to time trying unsuccessfully to push the speech.

- So I will stay without a clitoris for the rest of my life! - princess Nesmeyana again burst into tears.

- Do not worry! - Professor Preobrazhensky shouted from afar. - In extreme cases, I will transplant you the clitoris of a female baboon.

“A baboon's clitoris transplant is an extreme measure,” came the kindly male voice of a doctor with an African tan. - There may be side effects: Nesmeyany will turn red in the ass, she will start climbing trees and look for bananas.

- I do not want the clitoris of a female baboon! - princess Nesmeyana burst into tears more than ever.

- Why Ivan is silent? - with a suspicious notes in her voice spoke Elena Wise.

All the fairy-tale characters fell silent and stared at Ivan, who was lying on the stove along with Emelya and was cut in a fool.

- Vanya, do not be silent! The people want to know where the clitoris has gone, ”Elena the Wise asked affectionately.

“Well, you see, there is such a thing ...,” began Ivan the Fool, dismounting from the oven and scratching the back of his head, “he disappeared.

“We already know that,” Cinderella was disappointed.

- Maybe Ivan does not know what a clitoris is? - Jasmine thought out loud.

“Or not looking there,” added Aladdin.

- Girls, let's check it out! - exclaimed with enthusiasm Little Red Riding Hood.

- How? - Cinderella became interested.

- Let him show where the clitoris is in one of us.

- Well done! - cheerfully Elena Wise, stretching words. - That you came up with great.

- Let me show Ivan instead? - Emelya perked up.

- I will not let anything show on Jasmine! - Aladdin was angry, covering his body Jasmine. - I'd better show you everything myself!

- Show me! - Cinderella decided to flirt, but noticing a fist sticking out of Aladdin’s back, she pretended to be a rag.

“I suggested it myself, show it myself,” said Vasilisa the Beautiful, addressing Red Riding Hood.

“I'm embarrassed,” Little Red Riding Hobby lowered her eyes.

- Did you feel free to play with the wolf? - Yelena the Wise shouted at her bitterly.

- What are the tricks? There was nothing! - at the Little Red Riding Hood, she gasped for indignation.

- How so! Did not have! People are still being dragged into role-playing sex games about Little Red Riding Hood.

The face of the Red Riding Hood was stained to match the color of her hats.

“Let him show me,” Thumbelina squeaked bravely, letting her panties down to her knees and raising her skirt.

“Your clitoris can only be seen through a microscope,” Vasilisa the Beautiful laid siege to her, covering Thumbelina with her hands, and whispered quickly. - Quickly get dressed, shameless! Because of you, Thumbnail Fainted has fallen.

- Why does everyone hurt me? - cried Thumbelina, pulling the panties. - They think that I am a young child of some kind, and I am an adult, just a little growth.

“Let them show Sleeping Beauty,” suggested Malvina.

- This is not appropriate! - protested Vasilisa the Beautiful.

“I bet she won't wake up?” - Malvina cynically grinned.

- So we will not solve anything, - wisely summed up Helen the Wise, shouting over everyone. - Go, Vanya, to Baba Yaga. Whoever clung to the clitoris, and without it obviously was not.

All the characters fell silent at once.Baba Yaga lived in a hut on chicken legs. She was revered as a gatekeeper between the world of the living and the dead, served by frogs, crows, snakes and the Bayun cat itself. Not every good young man dares to visit the old woman. She, then evil, then good, but always comes from her a lot of wisdom.

“Until you know where my clitoris is, don't come back,” princess Nesmeyana admonished.

- Do not forget to return before dawn, - Elena Wise reminded me carefully.

“If you meet, say hello to Alyonushka and her goat brother,” shouted Vasilisa the Beautiful after her, waving good-bye.

“Vasilisa, you do not know, brother Alyonushka is no longer a goat,” Cinderella enlightened her.

“I just know,” said Vasilisa the Beautiful bitterly, “believe me, the goat is still that.”

“Farewell,” shouted Ivan the Fool, “Do not remember dashing.”

Fairy-tale characters did not even notice that Ivan was gone. They enthusiastically began to discuss the relationship Alyonushka, her brother and Vasilisa the Beautiful.

Ivan walked, wherever his eyes look, for how long, for a short time, whether the fairy tale is soon affected, and if it is not done soon, he comes to Kudykina Mountain. He sees in the distance the light burns. Comes closer. There is a hut on chicken legs, and all sorts of piled timber around. On the hut the plate hangs and glows in the dark. Ivan came to the plate and read.

“Hereditary fortuneteller and clairvoyant in the twelfth generation lives here. I offer ready-made auras of successful turnkey companies. I will develop amulets and charms with your company logo. I will cure tax fear. Predict the fate of the number of banknotes. I heal possessed by imposing strict disciplinary action. Restoring potency and lost documents. I correct the bends of fate. I am wondering about the cracks on the heels. I will remove the damage from the work collective on group photography and a criminal record on the photofit. I will punish the separation girl, I will please the boss. With a guarantee of 200%, I will return my husband to the family. I will provide short-term damage to the draft board. I will drive out cockroaches, alcoholism, neighbors and other hemorrhoids. "

- Hut, hut, stand up in front of me, and back to the forest.

- Dreaming! - the hut on chicken legs responded in a displeased voice. - Last time I bought it, it still hurts my backside.

- Who dared to do that? - stunned Ivan the Fool.

- Who? Who! - grumbledly imitated the hut. - Who knows. Serpent Gorynych, three-headed rapist.

- Who are you? What are you wearing at night? - Looking out of the window, Baba Yaga screamed in displeasure.

- Ivan I. Clitoris looking.

- Clit ..., - Baba Yaga thought for a moment, and then decisively uttered. - Come on in!

Hut on chicken legs turned and sat down with a creak. Ivan the Fool went into the hut. A large oven, table, bed, any utensils. The hut was lit up by fireflies, which made fancy shadows appear and disappear on the walls.

- You do not listen to the hut. Bored of her. Here she is composing all the nonsense, ”Baba Yaga said in a more affable way, trying to suppress a yawn. - What are you looking for?

“Clit,” repeated Ivan the Fool.

“I haven’t been looking for my clitoris for a long time,” the old woman thought, “about 200 or even 250. He’s overgrown with moss.”

- You did not understand! I am looking for the Nesmeyany, ”explained Ivan the Fool.

- Why are you clitoris Nesmeyany my looking for? - surprised Baba Yaga. - Mukhomorov ate something?

- Nesmeyana's clitoris was gone ...

Baba Yaga laughed heartily.

- ... I was sent ...

- The people became angry. A little bit of what is sent right away, ”Baba Yaga put in condemningly.

- ... Nesmeyana sits and sobs ...

“A famous hysteric woman is not laughing,” Baba Yaga squeezed out of herself.

“... Granny, help me find the clitoris,” Ivan the Fool looked at Baba Yaga imploringly.

“Of course, now I’ll only take a flashlight and go look for the clitoris,” Baba Yaga replied. - Dear man, are you a fool?

Ivan frowned and looked intently at Baba Yaga.

- Really! What is it about me? It’s quite old, ”Baba Yaga threw up her hands and squinted slyly. - Say, Ivan, ... Read more →