with a pronounced. This is all backstory.

The story itself began on one ill-fated Monday. I, as usual, like a somnambulist, crawled out of a warm bed and went to work. I even managed to sit in the bus, and I fell asleep with peace of mind, because I was going to the end. I woke up because we were standing. Immediately thought: "Really so quickly arrived?" But no, cork, but what. In general, I will not be detailed, but I was half an hour late for work. Our director, A.N., who himself gets from the Moscow region, is aware of traffic jams and for the first time didn’t even make a comment, he simply had the word “traffic jam” and promises to leave early.

Early this is half past six. Nightmare. Well, where to go. I donate breakfast, good mini-market grocery, and you can have breakfast there. Especially since I hoped to arrive before nine. But fate decreed otherwise, the traffic jam this time was even steeper and I arrived again as well. A.N. shook his head reproachfully, but said nothing. I decided to leave at six, and this is the earliest flight and an even greater nightmare for my owl nature.

In the morning I got up with great difficulty, barely crawled to the bus, and just fell into the free space. But the gods decided to bring the experiment to the end. Again, I was late due to the traffic jam, but only ten minutes later. When I asked the chief what I would do, I answered I would go by train. It was at times more inconvenient, but where to go.

On Thursday, I went by local bus to the nearest station, and, coming out on the platform, I was horrified - there was nowhere for the apple to fall. The cashier turned out to be a young girl who warned that she didn’t feel sorry for the ticket, but the train had to wait a long time because a freight train caught fire on the tracks not far from the station. “Everything, they will fire me” - flashed through my sleepy head. Having asked me how to get there, I reached the bus stop, but there were no minibuses, which is not surprising, because there were ten times more people willing to leave this morning than usual. Fortunately, or not, one driver agreed to take him to the subway. I sat down with a nice, talkative man, and somehow imperceptibly shared with him my adventures. He sympathized, offered his help, if he was fired, we exchanged phone numbers. If we knew that we will have to leave soon. The car on which we were driving someone neatly balked half a kilometer from the metro, and we ran to the station. But it did not help me, I was late again. Entering the store, I felt like the hero Vitsin from the movie "Incorrigible Liar." I think they really won't believe it. Indeed, the first reaction could have come up with something better. Saved by the fact that the news of the freight reported. The next phrase of the chef caused laughter in half of the staff you are still stuck in the subway.

On Friday, my bad luck was over, and I arrived on time. I was greeted with applause, almost fanfare and champagne. The question of dismissal was removed. To celebrate, I bought a cake, and treated everyone. I decided that everything bad had ended, and I was very glad when that man called and offered to meet in the evening. Agreed to meet near the metro station, from which I go by bus.

The day flew by. I was tired after a crazy week, went into the subway, got to the transfer station, passed the transition ... no, it can not be ... I probably sleep ... The station looked like people by a square meter one by one on the platform station, from where I tried unsuccessfully to leave. The train was already 20 minutes. After about 10 minutes, he drove up, and the crowd literally brought me in there. I was pinned to the opposite door, someone was standing on my leg, and I, because of the belly of a big guy that I had to bump into, did not even see who it was. Despite all the difficulties and difficulties, I was pleased in anticipation of the meeting. But the joy did not last long in the middle of the haul, the lights went out and the train got up. In my head the phrase of the director popped up you still stuck in the subway.Oh, he obviously underestimates my talent! For as long as we stood, a whirlwind of thoughts rushed in a chaotic stream. I am a loser ... he will not wait ... I had to go through the ring ... but when it ends ... these are the most decent ones. But everything ever ends, and I arrived. What was my joy when I saw Him at the exit. "I waited, I must." His words were a balm for the soul:

- Honey, how could I not wait for you? I remembered all your stories and just decided that you were stuck somewhere.

“You have no idea how right you are,” I smiled, and added with sadness: “Only now there is no time for communication, because I can be late for a hostel.”

- It's okay, let's talk in the bus.

So, as teenagers, I had to kiss on the back of the bus.

In the hostel, I was still late, spent the night at his place, and the next day I moved in to him. Fate, apparently, decided that I passed all the tests with honor, and it was on that day that his roommate moved out, which they rented together in a five-minute walk from that very station. I lived with him for six months, never again being late, and then went home due to family circumstances. But that's another story.

P. S. In the morning, going to work at a quarter to nine, I again stifled applause with my already famous phrase: “You won’t believe.” After my story, all the store personnel laughed.

15. FOR COURAGE

- Oh well, in FIG, - Marianna was surprised, a miniature blonde who has a chemical education and a good sex experience in her twenty-two years.

Vasya, who was sitting next to me on the couch, somehow hesitated, hesitated, blushed deeply, but he still ran his hand under his blouse. And while that hand randomly wandered around the gorgeous girlish body, the mistress of that very body was thinking about why she had never been lucky with the peasants.

Vasya, meanwhile, seems to have spit on his chin.

“Wow,” thought Marianna, when Vasya suddenly snorted and tried to jerk his pants off of his jeans.

The lock stuck, the fly did not give in, and the chemical diploma decided it was time to take matters into their own experienced hands.

Vasya turned out to be very quickly undressed, laid flat and smoothed with nimble, manicured fingers. Why quickly swam his head and rolled his eyes. Marianna, without losing time, undressed herself and slipped under a prudently spread blanket.

Vasya was twenty-seven years old, ten of which he spent behind textbooks, diplomas and candidates. Marianna bit the guy completely by accident on a tip from the drunk Katak's Drabadan. She said in a whisper that Vasya has aunt Sonya breathing with incense with two three-room apartments in the center, and an unidentified dog, but some kind of horrible expensive breed.

Everything Katya said Marianne very much, especially since it was time to get married.

“Oh,” she suddenly heard.

She was frightened, but suddenly the jarring fly of something there pinched; raised herself on her elbow and looked at Vasya. He lay blissfully smiling and almost blowing bubbles. Vasya was good. Not even that: he was very good, but the chemical was not very good.

“It doesn't matter,” she estimated, “it's not over yet. A couple of times rickety. Where did our not disappear? "

But the profitable party for marriage in the face of Vasya suddenly jumped, started fussing and began to pull on jeans.

Marianne looked at these Brownian movements with surprise, incomprehension, and resentment. Vasina's ears were filled with thick paint, his cheeks blazed with the color of the evening sunset; He confusedly murmured an apology and ran to the exit in one sock.

“Bummer,” thought the possible Nobel laureate and took a deep breath, “bye-bye, flat in the center”

A couple of days later, in the early morning, when all the hope of our chemical science took a steady hot shower, a persistent bell rang at the door of a rented apartment.

The unfortunate door shook slightly and squealed under the echoing blows of several legs, whose owners decided that they were being ignored.

“I’m coming, oh,” Marianna cried out from the bathroom, “now I’m going to put on my robe.”

When the girl, dressed in a light short robe, opened the door, then in surprise, she lowered her hands, holding a frivolous robe over the collar.On the threshold, directly in front of her, was a thunder baba. What is in full face, that in profile eyes do not embrace. The enraged woman was letting nostrils of hot steam from her nostrils and tapping on the floor with shoes of a frankly masculine size.

“Excuse me,” the landlady asked her, “and to whom?”

- Oh, - cried an angry visitor, - just look at this smarties! She has the audacity to not recognize me.

“Yes, yes,” came the almost full replica of the first guest before the eyes of the bewildered Marianna. Only the growth of the second was a little lower and the hair color a little darker, - the youth now completely broke off their hands.

“Sorry,” Marianna repeated, “I think you got the wrong address.”

The thunder-woman released the air from the lungs with a loud whistle and almost screamed out:

- But how dare you, scoundrel, do not recognize me. Yes, I'm the same person with my son. Praise to Heaven that he went to me, and not to his dad-scoundrel.

And only here Marianna saw the very son who had “one face” with his mother. Vasya frightenedly pressed against the access wall and diligently looked at one visible point on the floor.

- How can I help? asked the girl in surprise.

Mom grabbed her heart for this and waited her partner in a doomful manner:

- Sonya, tell her everything.

She quickly wiped mum from the door and rattled off:

- We all know. Vasenka has no secrets from us. Together we almost raised him from the cradle. Therefore, we demand that you act like an honest girl.

Marianna raised her eyebrows in surprise. Then my mother came out. She with a heroic hand pushed “breathing aunt Sonya into the incense” back out the door, took a breath and firmly issued:

“You must marry Vasya.”

Marianne thought she had misheard. A student of chemical studies wanted to ask what, how, why, but mom continued:

- He gave you himself.

- What? did not understand Marianne.

Mom slightly covered her eyes with her eyelashes, with one hand zahomutala "son", pulled him to her and finished on a solemn note, despite the fact that Vasya chatted legs, trying to free himself:

- Is he. Gave. You. His own Virginity. And it is worth a lot. You must be his wife.

“I won’t think about it,” Marianna snorted.

Because the “dying Aunt Sonya” buried with its outstanding volumes and healthy appearance, all the hopes of the provincials for their own housing in the regional center.

Mom gasped in indignation, pressed Vasya closer to her, which made him roll her eyes and try to breathe, and roared menacingly:

- Sonya!

Aunt jumped out from behind the door, like a yo-yo from the snuffbox, and cheerfully reported:

- Primorsky Boulevard 12, an old foundation, third floor, renovation. Our wedding gift.

Marianna looked with interest at Vasya, who was desperately trying to get out of their fighting capture of the mother.

- So, we agreed, - “dying aunt Sonya” summed up right there.

Experienced tore her son from Mommy, shoved him into the apartment and slammed the door on the other side.

“Advice and love,” Marianna finally heard.

Vasya quietly slid down the wall and sat down on the floor with his knees spread.

“She has been trying to marry me for about five years already,” he said hopelessly, “but none of them suited her. And you have a red diploma after all. And yesterday ...

Krasnodar diploma smiled knowingly. In one easy motion, she took off her robe and nodded in the direction of the room. Vasya, despite the light oxygen starvation, quickly jumped from the floor and rushed into the blind bedroom.

“We are starting the first course of study,” thought Marianna. “I hope that the next one will take place on Primorsky Boulevard.”