such I turn my head, and there - the second one curled up on its side. The apartment is alien, clearly removable. The girls woke up, satisfied such, they kiss me on the cheeks. And I, count up, I do not remember a damn! What happened? As it was? Well, probably it was, since they are satisfied?

Hell knows where to laugh, but I broke up when I introduced the picture to the ent - a man wakes up among two chicks, satisfied with it. And he does not remember anything! I almost fell off the bar stool when this panorama appeared before my eyes. She laughed, cleared her throat. I tell.

- And I have a serious case. It was in the Council of Deputies. Communism, leveling, clothes are all the same. I then studied at the Institute of Light Industry. She lived in a hostel, a room for three. On vacation to my mother, in the outback. And there - a gift. Light overcoat. Drapovaya, but not like everyone else, but special, custom-made. The drape is black, but with an emerald shade, fitted, slightly flared from the bottom, wide collar, turn-down. Emerald girdle. Happiness, do not believe it. Only a woman will understand!

- Yes, well, I believe!

- Wait, continue to listen! I'm going to the hostel with the institute in the tram. People crowded, nowhere to push, and I saw four stops. At the top of the rail, she grabbed onto the pipe, pressed against the pipe, the tram was shaking, and the peasant was standing nose to nose and devotedly looked into her eyes like that. I smile at him when they do not press sideways into the pipe. We drove so a couple of stops, he began to push through the exit. Well, to hell with you, I think. Something was sad. I make my way to the exit, go out. Shoulders straightened, I walk proudly. And people are staring at me. Straight, turn everything. Looks catching, in the glory bathe. Well, I think the coat is working. Smile on the face, all that is important. I got it. Into the room fell, happy. Oh, girls, I was now escorted with such eyes, so looked! Probably everyone likes my coat.

One that was sitting on the right, with her eyes led and threw her nose into bed with laughter. I'm shocked. I was kicked like boiling water! "Dura, you look at your pocket ..."

I take off my coat ... And there! From the pocket at the seam is such a savory, frothy, whitish jet of sperm ... and it is on black with an emerald shade of strong sovdepovskom drape. At first I wanted to cry! And then I thought - and nothing brings together as much as public transport, and not he will be!

The jet we wiped out, the trace remained ... sperm, that acid, horseradish, you will deduce.

But she wore a coat for a long time, there was no other.

6. GIFT FOR BIRTHDAY

The first date was not yet expected, but suddenly I was invited to the DR for my new passion. The first priority 17-year-old idiot was to give a gift. Give perfume? Not comme il faut! Yes, her mothers, folders and friends will nag him so much - she will be sick of smells. Dishware? She is still not old enough to be dragged from it. Toy, book, desk lamp, stockings, pantyhose? ... STOP! Suffered!

Desperate, I decided to buy a postcard and put a bill in it. Let her buy herself what her heart desires. Fortunately, the newsstand deigned to dine. Going into the store, I began to admire various little things. Some seemed to me coarse or too cheap, others, on the contrary - expensive (do not fit into my amount). Suddenly my gaze rested on ladies' gloves. And the color is suitable and style. Having asked the saleswoman to show the goods, I languished in anticipation. Snorting that she was in a tee-tele teleponing with a friend, she made the young rake wait five minutes. I just pined, calling her in every way. The most affectionate was: “the patched proclada”.

Finally, she finished, such an important occupation for her and deigned to give me the goods for inspection. I asked her to put it on her pen and turn the handle, and this and that, it seemed to me exactly like the object of my adoration, having been impulse, decided to make a purchase.

Suddenly the phone rang ...Her phone ... He stumbled loudly. But I managed to say that I wrapped more elegantly - this is a gift. She pinched, squeezing the phone to her ear, put her hands under the counter and twisted, crunched the wrapping paper there. Having departed for a second, ostensibly I overheard her emotional outpourings, she returned a minute later, handed me a package.

I still had plenty of time. Whole half an hour, but I still needed to jump home to jump on. No, I was not late: a tick came in a tick and even picked up three studs along the way. For more, I did not have enough money.

I did not remember what happened at the beginning. But the moment came, before serving hot, for the entertainment of guests (or rather, the killing of time), the birthday woman was asked to demonstrate gifts.

Rolls of paper were unfolded and, in the light of day, were taken out: dishes, perfume items (they were in the majority). Finally, the turn came to the convolution of your humble servant.

- And this is from whom? - asked the mother of the woman.

- From Yura, - having slightly blushing, she explained the subject of my adoration.

Having opened a wrapper, its gentle tender handles were taken out into the light ... Gloves? Yes fig tat there !!! It was a ladies' underwear set !!! Panties and bra gentle salad color. The whole farce was that they were an erotic destination, not everyday!

There was deathly silence. I seem to have turned white, and the one bestowed blushed strongly, however, stretching her panties, she made a statement that it was not her size:

- You didn't buy me a growth? - calming down, she sneaky.

Having found the power of speech and the ability to move, I snatched from her the objects of female seduction and, wrapping them as if they were horrible and as it were necessary, with the words:

- This is mistake! The saleswoman confused the rolls, - flew to the store.

I was very angry and I was ready to talk a lot of rudeness with this patch. If only she was on the spot!

She was on the spot. Near the counter curled a small queue of people out of five. Standing in front of everyone, regardless of hissing: “Where did the queue turn ?!”, he unwrapped the package, showing off his sexy underwear for everyone to see, and could only say:

- What's this!!! Does this look like ladies gloves? !!!

- Ay! - pressing her palms to her cheeks, the saleswoman blushed wildly, "this is mine," and realizing that she had given herself away, laughter began to come out of the line, immediately removed everything under the counter.

Then, opening her bag, she took out the exact same bundle and handed it to me.

“Open up,” I said. “Suddenly there is a belt with stockings or something else?” - was still angry at her.

There were gloves. She pulled them to me.

- Well, what are you? - one of the shoppers was indignant, - wrap it up as it was.

The phone rang again. Her phone.

- Do not, - I decided, - and then again, all mixed up.

Grabbing the bundle, I dullly stumbled onto the continuation of the banquet. Giving the gloves to the birthday girl, I apologized, and no matter how I was persuaded to stay, I went home.

I knew the simple truth: “Those spoons that you stole were found, but the sediment remained ...” (c)

7. SHAME TO REMEMBER

There is such a thing in our region - compensation for utility bills. To get it, you need to collect a bunch of documents, of course, having driven the whole city from one suburb to another ... This is an interesting affair with a friend and we were busy in March, into the very muddy road.

Former husband once again got a job. At the plant building materials, KSM. Where the plant is located, no one could really explain to us. Only the general direction indicated. We went to three together - the daughter, in her eight years, did not want to sit in any house alone. Yes, and I'm calmer, everything in my eyes, will not do anything.

We arrived on the tram to the desired stop, crossed the railway and found ourselves in an industrial area. One road, around the fences and buildings, and not a soul. Let's go, they hoped, in the right direction. Ahead Lyuska, I'm after her, a friend next. Otherwise there is no way - the road consisted of two ruts filled with water, and a “curb” of melting snow between them. And on the side of the road drifts almost knee-deep.

Come on, look out for someone to ask about the location of the klyaty KSM .... Read more →