It all started in one foreign port. In which? I do not remember. That was a long time ago. I then just completed my long, tedious study, and this was my first flight I went to navigator. The third navigator. Horrible post! You can talk about it endlessly. In short, the life of the third navigator, as the youngest commander on the ship, is to blame for everything that happens bad, even if the weather turned bad. In general, a person without the right to life. But I was lucky. The captain got good. Scoffed at me in moderation. On the ship, the unloading of coal ended, and we were put directly to the city embankment to clean the holds. I think it is not necessary to explain what the cleaning of coal holds is. Work hard When I was completely tight, I got out onto the wing of the captain’s bridge to take a little breath of clean air. I stand. I smoke. Suddenly, the car stops on the embankment. Yes, what a car! I have not even seen these movies. Rolls-Royce black with curtains on the windows. He jumps out of the car in such a tuxedo in a tuxedo with a butterfly, runs around the terrible length of the hood of the car and helps the woman to get out. Well, swell, I'll tell you! Only one fur coat on it is more expensive than our ship. And so they walk. Admire the scenery.

And I'm standing in dirty boots, in a filthy jumpsuit, all black from coal dust. And so I felt hurt. “Echo ho,” I even spat. - What are you, navigator? - I heard the captain's voice behind him. - What. Here it is. People live! And then ..., - I waved my hand hopelessly. He walked over, looked attentively at the shustrika walking with the lady, and contemptuously bulged his lower lip. - Fi! On a Rolls Royce, and in a tuxedo, any fool can. And here you are in a dirty padded jacket. For this you need to be a man! - he pointedly raised his finger. If you say that I was shocked by the depth of this thought, it means to say nothing. Throughout my life, I have been striving to follow this principle. But what came of it sometimes? Here are two such cases I want to tell. A couple of years later I had a chance to walk already the second navigator on the river-sea ship. Work on these vessels is very peculiar. After the huge, noisy foreign ports have to climb into such cracks in our rivers, that from the contrast the head hums. We were loading at that time with salt in one of such small Volga towns, located not even on the Volga itself, but on one of its tributaries.

I, as the person in charge of the goods, went to execute the documents. Having found a wretched, one-story shack with a proud sign "Port Authority", I go there. At the table sits a young, very pretty girl and writes something. From the surprise that in this hole you can see such a miracle, even frightened. But only for a second. Right on the threshold, having made a dog stand, I take myself in hand and bravely rush forward. Laying out the documents on the table, I begin to flood the waves in the sea above the local village council, the sailors have such a difficult and dangerous life, and sometimes they want warmth and affection. - Would you visit a Brazilian coffee with a napoleon, I finish my speech with an invitation. - And who are you? - she does not take admiring eyes from me. - In what sense? - I clarify. - Well, who is the post? I stand up in the third position with full self-respect: - The second mate! “Well, if the captain,” she dreamily rolls her eyes ... I went out into the street humiliated and insulted. Returning to the ship, immediately moved to report to the authorities. In the captain's cabin, he sat at the table as a senior officer, and read something, putting on his stupid glasses on his nose.

The captain, dressed at home, stood by the window and smoked. Asking for permission to enter, I immediately proceeded to the report. Having dealt with official affairs, putting documents in a diplomat, I somehow began to talk about what happened to me at the port authority.When the story came to the place where she inquired about the position, some interrogative void suddenly hung in the cabin. I looked up. The captain was already in new trousers, a white shirt and tie, and wore a ceremonial jacket. In my surprised eyes, he simply yelled at me: - Navigator! When will you learn to start from the most important? Having reprimanded me, as the last one, he jumped out of the cabin. A minute later his white cap flickered along the pier. - Life is a harsh thing! - thoughtfully threw up his hands and took off his glasses. In the evening, music and feminine laughter could be heard from the captain's cabin. Obviously, they drank Brazilian coffee with Napoleon. I decided, as soon as possible, to forget all this. But it is necessary! On the same vessel. Literally in the next flight, it happened that it is still inconvenient to recall. We came to Sicily under the general cargo. Parking in the port promised to be very short. Italians threatened to start working on all the holds at the same time. That I won't be able to go to the city this time, I realized right away.

Yes, here before the flight they sent us a new foreman. Young, but early. I did not have time to appear on the ship, when I immediately began to tighten the nuts. And who might like it? Naturally, the relationship with us did not work out. In the morning the captain calls me to his cabin, and this one is already sitting there, and says: - Sergey Alexandrovich, loading will be difficult. Vitaly G. will help you. And I go to the city. - Yes, I can handle it myself, - I was offended. - You do not boil. First, the case, and then ambition, he snapped and left us alone with the senior officer. He took from the table a copy of the cargo plan: - Take the bow holds, and I will climb into the stern. Began loading. Everything spun in the usual bustle. Having improved a minute, I ran to see how things were with my colleague. The chief-officer stood near the rows of evenly laid boxes and spoke out to the dockwork foreman. Apparently, he knew his business. By evening, with the loading was over. The captain returning from the city carefully looked at the documents: - You guys are great. In the sea today we will not go. I was told here that the strike in the port. So tomorrow you can both go ashore. In the morning, after cleaning the feathers and dressing up, we with the first mate switched to “you” and went out to the people. “I don't wanna go shopping.” I have already been to this port. There is a basement nearby ... There is a cheap cinzano there, - he looked at me inquiringly. “What the bazaar is about,” I instantly understood the hint. Wine in the basement was not only cheap, but also good.

An hour later, in high spirits, we walked almost the entire town and did not know what to do next. And then a woman passed by on the sidewalk. Tall, slim, handsome. Well, in general, all with her. We, of course, caught up with her, and went after her. Do Russian sailors abroad have such a silly game. You go, for example, to the store and start talking all kinds of nonsense, they don’t understand the blessing of our language, and you smile at the same time politely. The seller, of course, fusses to be of service to you, while your friends are falling out of laughter at this time. That's what we do. We go for the Italian and discuss it in full voice:

- And what legs! And what ass! And all sorts of other such vulgarities. We went over it all from manicure to pedicure. And then, as a senior officer, he will cling to my sleeve, and how he will shout: “Seryoga! But does anyone sleep with her? And she turns in the purest Russian, says: - The same fool, like you. I looked around, and the foreman and trace were gone. As the wind blew. I stand alone. It turns out that she tells me. When we went to the ship, I tried to tell the chief mate, laughing until hiccups, that he had acted not in a comradely manner. But he only waved his hands and wiped his tears. We did not have time to return, as the captain called us. - In the evening the consul will arrive with his wife. Cook preparing a festive dinner. Put on ceremonial uniforms. You will meet you. And look, that everything was on the level, - he jabbed a finger at me. - Just think, the consul with his woman goes. It will be necessary, we will meet the Queen of England, - I turned away and went to change clothes. After some time the car stopped at the pier.

A decently dressed middle-aged man began to climb the ladder, leading a woman by the arm. Typing a step, I walked over to them, took my hand under the visor and opened my mouth to, as expected, give a report. My mouth opened, but I could not say anything. Standing next to the consul, she smiled charmingly, looking at me, the same woman whom we had been discussing with the senior officer on the street in the morning. What happened next, I don’t even want to remember ... But the evening turned out to be good! Later, when I invited her to dance, she whispered in my ear: “But there’s something like that in the sailors!”