Page: 1 of 6
1.
There was an old man alone in a closet,
Carla was the name of the eccentric
No wife, no children,
Been a drink and not a fool:
To live was not boring,
He went to the fair,
The handle of an old barrel organ,
For glass booze twisted.
One morning waking up
- Fuck:, noggin like a cast iron,
Who would poured sober,
Here Giuseppe on the threshold:
***
Here we will retreat a little,
So that the reader understands
Who is Giuseppe will be,
Fuck Carla he got?
And Giuseppe was a tramp,
Neither cola nor courtyard
Something in the market spizdit
That is his grub.
In general, he was homeless golimy,
And klikuha - Blue Nose,
With Carla, he somehow began to swell,
And then it rooted.
Carlo, though he drank not weakly,
But he could have struck a tree
Did with chocks stools,
What would then sell them.
But the fucking wood, however,
Need to get somewhere,
Then Giuseppe turned up,
He began to drag them to him.
So they swore,
He pounded, he sold,
And then with Giuseppe together,
He drank up all his income.
***
So:
Giuseppe Went:
- What, Karlusha, head?
There is no money for a bubble:
There is only lemonade.
- The little thing just stayed,
I bought it,
Come on, get down to business
Gl, brought the log!
Zapizdi-ka stool
I will drive her,
So serious drink
For pohmelki prikuplyu!
Carlo crawled off the bed,
And clutching a bubble,
Whole drink lemonade
Without residue in the throat poured.
And then belching relishly -
Bubbles already out of the ears,
- This soul can not be fooled:
Although the tank itself vlay!
- Well, here come the log:
Look, with a bitch, but at the fuck,
We will trim it,
Come out my chair!
Carlo took a chisel in his hand,
By the log it - Whack!
And eyes on the forehead climbed -
Suddenly there was a wild cry:
- Fuck, finally, in nature, bitches!
Soak shcha frarakov!
And jumping up a log,
Pizdanulo his forehead.
Carlo immediately disconnected:
And Giuseppe already crouched,
When someone logs,
A hump hit him.
They will not understand what happened:
- Carlo, can you see
Who is this log for me?
Back now vybal?
Carlo himself shakes his bald -
Everything floats before fucking,
- Hey, Giuseppe, can it
Someone came to us in the house?
And again a squeaky voice:
- Hey, old man, are you awkward?
Who poked a pen at a bochin?
Is that a mess?
Immediately both okhuyli:
Dick your own firewood
Who saw the trees,
Similarly, people say?
And the log is still lingering:
- Cho, you do not see, old man?
There is a kid, right in this chock,
Not for the dick, sitting for a long time!
You take your streams,
Current neat fucking!
And from this log,
Cut me soon!
Fuck you do, took Carlosha
Your carpentry tool,
And from this piece of wood
The guy carved into the moment.
Cool small turned out
Hands, feet, hair color,
Only here is not without flaw -
A hefty nose came out.
A nose like that,
Long, sharp, looking up,
The whole Caucasus is resting there,
Word snobel fuck.
Carlo wanted to correct the current
Trim it slightly:
But it was not at all there,
Again grew out of a bitch.
- Well, dick with him, with this nose,
What a healthy thing is garbage
In general, a great guy
It turned out with me!
***
Although a guy, this is cool:
Carlo completely forgot
About guys from women difference:
Well, it happens, I have drunk it:
This is the difference
It has become the cause of all troubles
Koi happened to him :,
Well, about this later, after:
***
And the boy started,
- Fuck! Freedom, see, finally!
Well, you, old man, for this,
Will you be my dad now!
And you, bald, mom,
I will call from now on:
Here and Carlo: - Hey, Giuseppe,
I should give my son a name:
Here, Carlo's eyes rested,
In a lemonade bottle straight, Looking, and there on the label,
What the fuck is that?
A long nose and a cheeky look,
On the head with a cap with a sock,
“Boo-ra-ti-no,” he reads,
That's the name for the son!
You will be a guy, Pinocchio -
Name like fuck,
And now your birthday,
We must somehow wash.
Here Giuseppe took it up,
He has a stash,
Do not have time to pull the eye -
On the table is booze.
- Well, sonny, Happy Birthday!
The old men said a toast,
Pinocchio also drank -
Not a hindrance long nose!
Papa Carlo on the barrel organ,
The same hour Mouzon played,
And Giuseppe with Buratino,
The song was singing there.
- “Eh, a zone, in three rows a thorn:
And around the taiga, taiga: "-
This is drunk Buratino,
He recalled everything about his forest:
In general, they drank all the way,
And the river flowed booze:
And when they climbed,
It was morning already.
2.
After drinking Pinocchio,
Barely opened his eyes,
- Who said that does not get sick,
Wooden noggin?
- Scha b gram two hundred shandarahnut,
And eat something:
Dad! Mama! Where are you whores ?!
Nobody can see that:
Pinocchio looked around:
- Something in the corner shines? -
A pot hangs in the fireplace,
And under it the fire burns:
- Here is a javchik, in kind,
Shuffled fraing,
If we devour: - and with this thought,
He jumped off the bed.
Speeding nose poked
Pinocchio straight into the boiler:
- Bred like a sucker, bitches !!!
Only a hole pierced:
- Well, life went free,
Fuck everyone strives
Only hawalo open,
Immediately throw zapadlyak:
- Fuck, made a gallery,
Here in the garret, fucking:
Well, what about the picture? -
It is necessary to look in the hole.
Pinocchio is right there with the eye,
To this hole fell,
- Everything is in dust and cobwebs: -
Suddenly he saw the door there.
- So, so, so: - you are cunning, Dad:
Well, I cunning you,
Where are you hiding wealth
Wait a minute with me.
Pinocchio already at the door,
The handle twitches,
That is because the bitch is not given:
What should I do with you?
B lock, il grenade,
Although the key would be better:
Pinocchio startled -
Someone enters the house.
Instantly, he rushed to the bed -
Type did not get up:
- Pinocchio! Wake up -
Papa Carlo cheated.
- Look, son, I'm with a gift -
Bought you "Primer"!
So get ready for school
Will you delve into writing!
- You're only all for "hair dryer"
Shcha other times
All have long been at the bankers mark,
So go ahead, learn, kid!
This is me in life, a beggar
All pennies collected,
Even now - for this book,
I sold my pants!
Pinocchio thinks:
- Under the sucker mows, old man:
About the pants I rubbed here,
And about the door, goat, silent.
Okay, with Pont agree,
Type we have nothing to do with it:
And how will momentik fall out
We are breaking this door:
Pinocchio reached out: -
- To school Dad? I'll go:
Current where are all my clothes?
I will not find anything.
- Here ...
Read more →Latest stories of the author
The wind whirls over the plain
And sweeping ground,
February was cold and winter
That dashing military year.
The rate of the main fascist,
The regiment of the guard at the gate,
And in the corner, by the world map,
The Fuhrer Bormann fucks:
- Oh, you, myna Kleine Schweyne!
How dare you come in without knocking ?!
Well, what if I ...
Read more →
The king had three sons
Hefty three guys,
All walked yes booze
And dad ruined.
The older one is the smartest,
Raszdaty and reasonable,
The average was neither like nor syak
Junior Vanka was a fool.
Fuck all the king -
How much is drunk, all for nothing,
It is necessary to marry them, goats ...
Read more →
Three brothers in the evening
Sat under the window
Spin - do not spin, did not know how
Just like that, for life, fuck.
- If I suddenly became king,
I would coolly feast, - the elder brother tells them, - If the table were always rich,
At the table I would drink,
And with friends drank vodka!
- If I had become king ...
Read more →