I didn’t greatly delve into these artistic nuances, I was only interested in this end result. And what it will be drawn, I think, does not matter, because the result is visible, and you can already evaluate and say, like it or not.

I looked at the pictures hanging on his wall. There were almost no new ones from the moment when I last visited him.

- You have a lot of pictures with empty space, such as large areas, or fields that look like from afar, and one person on them. Little. Alone. - I spent my hand in the air to mentally embrace a series of similar paintings that hung together. - These are here. They carry a single shade.

Arseny liked to talk about his paintings, about the history of the creation of a specimen, how this idea came, how he pondered it, why he decided to portray that way. At these moments, a slight smile of modest embarrassment appeared on his face, but at the same time his eyes lit up with genuine delight. He liked to say sublime phrases, slightly flavored with a pinch of sugary pathos. But he was not fond of, noticed it behind him and stopped on time.

- Yes, it's easier to convey loneliness. Such landscapes should look attractive to residents of large cities, who every day are clamped by narrow streets, creeping between the tall stone houses, catacombs of the metro, a close-panel apartment. I noticed for myself how wide spaces attract me if I manage to be in such places. As the only living person in them, I love to present myself. And when I draw, I look at this picture not from the point from which it is seen by the viewer, but from the point of that person on it. And then just think how it would look from a height. That is, initially, I imagine this whole landscape not from the side, but there, being in it.

- Well ... It is rather such an obvious physical loneliness. So? - I wanted to get involved in a conversation, I loved to discuss with Arseny his paintings, his vision. I was interested in this kind of art, and communicating with Arseny, I felt that I was closer to all this. Although he didn’t like to immerse in such moments that would be interesting for a narrow circle of artists. My interest was limited to narrow-minded frames and a small discussion of Arseny’s creativity was enough to fill my little cup of interest in surrealism. Without waiting for the reaction of my friend, I immediately continued, because what I said did not fully reflect the idea I wanted to bring to — Take the city, the huge crowd of its inhabitants. And you are alone in it, you don't know anyone, nobody knows you, nobody even notices you, just like you, you just see thousands of faces every day that you forget in a couple of seconds. Well, if this, of course, is not a sexy blonde in tight trousers.

I sometimes liked to dilute my narrative with silly playful inserts, so as not to look like a heavily made-up philistine. But then he picked up his story further.

- And all do not care for you, as you are at them. And here, you realize that you are alone as nowhere else. Yes, you are lonely and sitting in the apartment, but here, people emphasize it more strongly, as if they say “look, nobody needs you, nobody notices you”. And so every day, a huge mass of new faces, and the feeling that they are simply endless, every day, you will see new thousands of faces, a huge number of cars, and everyone is in a hurry somewhere, everyone has some business. And I calmly go home, as if I live in another world, where there is no need to hurry anywhere. Where are they in a hurry, what will happen if they are not in a hurry? And here you are all alone.Because, it is in the crowd, among the people you think about it. And in a huge emptiness, you do not even notice it. Sometimes he was alone on the river bank or somewhere else. There you are calm, you do not even think that you are here alone.

Arseny raised his eyes to the ceiling, raising his eyebrows up.

- Nuuu ... - he thoughtfully stretched, then turned his gaze to me - You substitute a little concepts. On the bank of the river, you just feel good, you rest there, but this does not save you from loneliness. Sit on the river as much time as you spend in your apartment, in the subway, on the street. - He barely said anything, allowing the conclusion to mature itself in my head. “And you will also feel the same thing as in the crowd, as you say.”

- Yes, I agree, but still. You will not deny that the big city and the crowd will remind you every time, but on the river bank you just can not think about it?

- Perhaps, but then it turns out that all the same, your position does not change. You're alone, what's there, what's there, right?

- Right. But loneliness is both a physical and psychological state. Nevertheless, it is more than sensation. In the picture, you first try to convey feelings. And where I feel more lonely, there is loneliness.

- And yet, time of stay in this place is of great importance. Get on an uninhabited island, and after a week of loneliness you will howl.

I also liked Arseny because he willingly could keep up the conversation even on completely empty topics. It was possible to argue with him absolutely about everything, be it a serious problem, or sheer nonsense, with a touch of utter nonsense.

Since, rubbing all nonsense was one of the features of my brain, I continued this conversation:

- That is, you want to say that a person in the city can not be alone? Or is it no different from being alone, say, on an uninhabited island?

- Well, not exactly. Rather, loneliness in the city, some kind of artificial, well, or even some kind of invented by the man himself. If these feelings are the same in the city and on the island, then they are then at different stages of the emotional state. In the city, loneliness is the result of, for example, isolation, non-communicativeness of something else. That is, a person can eliminate this feeling, not be lonely. That is, it all depends on him, he just needs to want to change his life and everything, it will change. There are opportunities to eliminate loneliness, in other words. Everything else is an excuse. And on the island, loneliness stems from hopelessness. Here, one desire is not enough. Everything starts from loneliness here, it is no longer the result of the complex nature of a person, there are already physical conditions here. And the worst thing is that nothing can be changed. Thus, here loneliness is expressed by inevitability, the impossibility of changing something, followed by humility. This is what I am trying to convey in such pictures.

Well, it looks like I lost a bit in a dispute, partly because I didn’t think over my position properly. And Arseny, drawing pictures, should have already thought about the subject of conversation a thousand times, and form a more solid opinion. But in any case, I was glad of it. Why should I have thought about this? It’s just that the reason for talking was just now, and, arguing on this topic, I formed my own opinion for myself. Or rather, I tried to hastily assemble it from scattered cubes scattered in my head. Arseny saw my impasse in the conversation, after which, apparently, he decided to somehow smooth the situation. He never liked to put people in an awkward position, and therefore, when a slight tension arose, even if it was insignificant, he was always ready to give way to an argument and even accept the opponent’s point of view.

- Although yes, if you take the state itself or, more precisely, the feelings themselves, they are probably similar, but the sense of oppression that arises will be stronger in the city. After all, you understand that everything can be changed here, you see other people, but it is difficult to change it.And on a desert island, there is nowhere to go, this is the original state of the absence of other people. If you're talking about this, then I probably agree.

Then he put his hand to his chin to rest ... Read more →