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and Yury Alexandrovich remained alone in the office. The parallel reality, which he had lined up for weeks in his fantasies, collapsed, and finally he saw the real Anya — the one with whom he initially communicated and which he then replaced with a fabricated vicious image. And she, this real Anya, was not at all an ideal student, or a shameless shalashovka — she was simply a very young girl, just starting to live and making her first ugly mistakes. Very young, inexperienced, vulnerable, touchy. It was not worth asking too much from her - but it was not worth asking too little.
Recognizing himself, Yuri Alexandrovich jumped up and ran after Anya into the corridor. She stood ten paces from his door, hunched over and resting her palms on the wall — not an insulted innocence with burning angry eyes, but an ordinary person, extremely weary and sad. Her eyelids were closed, and she shivered finely.
- Anya! - called her Yuri Alexandrovich by name, and she turned to him.
- Anya! Come back to the office.
Anya stood motionless in front of him and looked somewhere at his shoes, and he did not know how to make her return. Therefore, he simply waited and repeated mentally desperate “Come back, come back, come back” ... Slowly, slowly, as if reluctantly, Anya took a step towards him ... another ... third ... With a walk of a somnambulist, she walked to the office, and Yury Alexandrovich was mortally afraid that she would stop. But she did not stop. As soon as Anya crossed the threshold, Yury Alexandrovich closed the door behind her and turned the key; having heard the click of the lock, Anya jerked as if from a blow, looked around the room with a hunted look and again looked at the teacher's shoes. She had no strength for another monologue about truth and honor.
“Forgive me, Anya,” whispered Yury Alexandrovich.
With a sob, Anya suddenly stepped forward and nuzzled her shirt. Yuri Alexandrovich could hardly believe that this was all in reality, that Anya really now herself, without any compulsion, pressed against his chest and stands next to him, so touching and helpless, so young and desirable ...
- Yuri Alexandrovich, - Anya cried, - Why is everything so bad? Why is it all so, Yuri Alexandrovich?
He gently ran his fingers into her hair and pressed her gently to him, as if she were made of crystal. He felt her tremble.
“Everything will be fine, my dear Anya, everything will be fine ...” repeated Yuri Alexandrovich tenderly, as if comforting a small child. He, of course, wanted her madly, but every second he swore to himself that he would not touch her, would not allow himself to repeat that shameful moment when he went on about lust and nearly destroyed everything.
Anya looked at him with large tear-stained eyes.
“Yury Alexandrovich, I ...” she began, and with a sinking heart, he waited for the continuation - he seemed to guess what she would say, and did not believe in herself, and wanted to hear it, and was afraid.
But she did not say anything - slipping out of his gentle embrace, she suddenly knelt down in front of him, and her face was just at the level where Yury Alexandrovich’s trousers were bristling, rising from an obvious firm mound. Each muscle shrank in his body. It was necessary, of course, to stop her - he swore not to touch her - even if something could be done someday, then, then, not today ... It was necessary - and he could not bring himself to utter these stopping words, when Ani's narrow fingers had already sorted out with the belt buckle and were fumbling, slightly trembling, with a zipper. Here, finally, the student released his crimson swollen penis and froze, looking at the tiny droplet of grease that glittered on the head. Practically without giving themselves an account of their actions, Yuri Aleksadrovich ran his fingers into Ani's hair.
- Do you want? ... - Anya whispered barely audibly, asking about the obvious.
“Yes,” the teacher answered with a groan, immediately forgetting about all his vows and gently direct the student’s head forward.A little deviating, Anya pressed her lips to the inner side of his thigh and licked her skin, over which small goosebumps of excitement were already running, and then her tongue began her unbearably sweet dance around Yuri Alexandrovich's eggs. His thick trunk swayed over Anechka’s face, and his head cast purple, she ached, she asked for attention. Sticking out her tongue, the student licked this head like a lollipop, and pulled away, looking up at the teacher. He suddenly pulled the air in, and, grabbing her hair, pulled him over - and then the elastic warm ring of her lips squeezed his penis, leaving no thoughts and feelings in his head, except animal thirst and animal pleasure.
Anya sucked skillfully and confidently, and Yuri Alexandrovich, leaning on the teacher's desk, groaned softly and breathed hoarsely from the hot air. One of her small hands gently caressed his testicles, and with the other hand, Anna sometimes pulled back her bangs from her forehead and lifted her unearthly huge eyes to Yuri Alexandrovich.
Yuri Alexandrovich would like this to go on indefinitely, but this could not be so, because the thunderstorm roll already swell in his eggs, the sweet electric tickling was already running over them ...
“Anya, I'm going to finish now,” whispered Yury Alexandrovich, and Anya moved a little faster, squeezing her lips a little tighter. And the thunderstorm peep ripened, and Yuri Alexandrovich thought that the whole world went out around him - and a hot jet of sperm poured into the mouth of Ana from the pulsating member.
***
Through the gentle warm smoke to Yuri Alexandrovich came the incredibly calm voice of Ani:
- On the threefold there?
“Yes, yes,” he replied, not fully understanding the question and not wanting to return to the rough world with some raw materials, estimates, records.
- Then put down, please.
Yuri Alexandrovich opened his eyes. Anya stood in front of him, tousled, but straight and thin, and held out his mark with a pen.
- Three?
- Yes.
With a poorly listening hand, he gave a mark and signed.
- Well. I think that for three I really know the material, even though you did not want to listen to me. And at four I still do not know. All the best.
And before Yury Alexandrovich managed to put everything in his head, Anya closed the cabinet door behind him, and there, behind the door, he heard the hurried thud of heels, on which she was running away.
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I have not read this for a long time! Thank!
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Thank you, Kappa!
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but it is well written ...
clever, ironic, subtle
interesting ... and with content
very beautiful picture turned out!
Thanks for the story!
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Very pleased that the story seemed interesting! Thank!
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Great story! Woe-authors, putting here all the dregs - learn!
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Vitaly, thank you! I will try not to lay dregs, drop in. :)
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Eh, I was hoping for a happy ending))
But alas, the professor turned out to be an idiot. I think, after this, he lost her forever.
But the score is definitely 10+. The story is perfect)
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Well, if you discuss the plot directly seriously, the professor behaved like a non-edible goat, and the lack of a happy ending for him is the triumph of justice. :)
(But in general, I just don’t really like happy ending, I don’t know if they will forgive me for this genre.)
Thank you very much for the praise!
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The professor behaved like ... Although can I tell you everything in a personal?
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Yes of course.
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> But in general, I just don’t really like happy ending, I don’t know if they will forgive me for this genre. (c)
To hell happy nights!) ... true, I'm in this genre - a foreign body with my cockroaches, so I can not vouch for the rest. But from my point of view - everything is correct))
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It pleases me that I'm not the only one here. :)
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Excellent story, written in good literary language. thank
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Thank you for your feedback!
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Author bravo! Big respect! Backlog for a living. For a long time this is not slipped.
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The author is very pleased, thank you, katerinka!
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A good story, the author owns the word.
But, alas, I can not share the enthusiasm of Kappa or Vitaly. Why? Very simple. First, the name in which the sound of the material. In the story, he does not sound in any way, not a single word. Even now it can be replaced with any other subject, without changing anything in the text. In that case, what does the mat do in the title of the story?
The cops, as a subject of the engineering course, are familiar and understandable to me. But I could not understand the characters of the characters. At first, the professor sounded like an experienced teacher and a good person. A little later, he already plays the role of a crap teacher and a govnisty person. Who he really is is a dark forest. The same story with a student. First there is a speech about one person, then about another under the same name.
I do not understand the purpose set by the author.
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I am not the author, but oh, what a pity, but the support in the title and in the story, to immediately pay attention to the intelligence and diligence of the girl. The professor is changing, is a dark forest, so any person is a mystery, we can only assume that we know the true essence. The goal set by the authors ... I feel sorry for you, honestly ... I do not remember that you reproach me for the lack of a purpose for the story. There is a picture, very clear, and realistic. And what we will see, how we evaluate it, depends on our life experience, on our age, on our perception and temperament. I prefer to read such stories, but not the serial description of pornorolikov.
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As an author, I can easily answer about the goal: the author loves textual pornography and wants to learn how to write it himself, but so far he has little experience in this. So the author is learning. :)
About the strength of materials: it seems to me, instead of the strength of materials, there could be practically any technical or natural discipline, more or less specialized for the student (but any philosophy or history of the CPSU would have sounded worse). In the text, he is still mentioned a couple of times, but there he can also be replaced, yes. Was it worth making the name? On the one hand, it is not so important ... but on the other hand, he seems to be able to attract to the story those readers who have a better chance to like the story. In general, I do not know.
About characters - well, I would not call a professor too good. As for the student, I thought of someone as impetuous and inconsistent, for whom it is easier to pronounce a pathetic monologue than to answer for the bazaar. But it is not readable - it means it is not readable, here the viewer knows better.
The author is in any case grateful for the detailed comment :)
2Kapp: thanks for the answer, and I just want to note that the author is not offended by the commentary of Eugene. :)
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“But it is not readable - it means it is not readable, then the viewer knows better.”
And who said that it is not read? At least not me.
And remember one thing: once the readers discuss, then there is something to discuss.
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“Unreadable” - this is not about the story as a whole, but about the characters. I wish that someday the characters were clear and without detailed explanations from me. :) There is much to strive for.
And thanks again!
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And the sequel will be?
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This story is not planned, but I do not plan to disappear from the site and now I am writing something new.
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I want to hope that at home she will open the record book and see the top five)
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But she doesn't even know about four, she said it herself! :)
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The fact that Yuri Alexandrovich's head was blown away and he rolled up so awkwardly and untimely, let's say, believe (men are such men), but what stands behind the really incredibly calm voice of Ani? Cynical calculation? But what about the tears before this? Is she such a good actress? Or did she in a few moments become overwhelmed with such armor from cynicism, having decided, whatever the situation, outwardly to emerge as the winner? But such a rapid change does not fit with the previous long period of instability and confusion ... You know about Anya more than we do, tell me ..
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Well, it seemed to me like: Anya really felt sympathy for the teacher (it was probably this sympathy that she pushed into the arms of that other middle-aged peasant). She flopped on her knees partly from this sympathy, partly simply from confusion: she is not a virgin, and, hugging YuA, could not help but notice that they want her. (Well, it was also scary to fly out.) But along the way, I realized that in complete contradiction with my own monologue, I sucked at the assessment. And realizing - stupidly offended :) So a calm voice is an attempt to disguise an offended voice; JA was at that time just, uh, not at the height of insight, and so the attempt was a success.
But in general, the emphasis in the story was on the (awesomely rich) inner world of YuA, so Tikhorina, quietly from the author, could also acquire some inner world of her own, I do not know.
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I could not ignore the work that caused such a resonance: it is not often the mention of someone’s success is made by an outsider. Usually, people are driven by envy, so contempt silence is often the only “reward” to the winner. And if the call to get acquainted with the extraordinary creativity of the new author comes from the mouth of a man whose opinion I sincerely value, this is doubly interesting.
What does the “goddess of love and freshwater bodies” introduce us to? Is it limited to the effects on the human organs that are familiar to her — digestion and genitals — or is she pointing at something more: to capture our mind and feelings? What is your goal, Oshun Shango?
Partly the author himself answers this question: he “loves textual pornography and wants to learn how to write it himself” is quite a commendable desire, especially relevant on the porn site. But how far did he go?
The story is written in a completely readable language and in no way distracts from immersion in the story invented by the author: I didn’t even pay attention to whether there are any grammatical errors. Stylistic - yes, logical - as many as you like, from the real realm - this is a parade of absurdities in general, but in my opinion, Grammar-Nazi can calmly rest: nothing will disturb their righteous sleep. The narrative flows unobtrusively, the story is read with interest, although you don’t empathize with the heroes from the word “no way”, but the desire to find out how this simple story ends almost to its very end.
Literally at every step, the author tries to give a touch of romanticism to the thoughts and actions of the heroes — this can be seen with the naked eye.But then, apparently, the author himself is bored with this pink snot (or in the course of the action he himself ceases to believe in its perspectivity), and with a few strokes hell completely destroys his entire romantic veil.
What sensations did I leave this story after meeting him? There are two main ones:
This is not a pornographic story (and here the author didn’t come close to his cherished dream a bit);
Universal irritation from reading.
To the credit and merit of the author should notice that this story really does not leave indifferent: not sure, however, that it was “irritation” that expected “to see” Oshun from grateful readers.
I will not dwell on the first conclusion in detail, otherwise I will have to doubt my own potency. It’s just that during the reading nothing has ever moved in me, so this time the “goddess of love” didn’t ride away from Akela far away, and she also missed. In passing, I note that the sucking scene was filed so embarrassingly and obscenely in a bad sense for porn that I tried to rush through it faster: I didn’t want to look away from the stage in the theater, when the actor dullly and not truthfully plays its role.
But the characters of the heroes and their actions plunged me into permanent chaos: I began feverishly groping my pockets in search of the notorious information, in order to make sure that I go to one hospital with a connoisseur of the strength of materials and girl's knees, and with his passion at the same time.
In the story, we see a 45-year-old man with a remarkable mindset (I am in awe of people who can decipher the abbreviation "Sopromat"), who has been in disarray in his personal life: a hotschik could have matured in a causal place relative to a pretty student: in the end, sublimate single winter evenings?
And his elephant's grace in the china shop, when he voiced his secret desire to the girl, is also quite understandable: the last time he explained himself in love, apparently, to the raw material, and that, judging by the name, did not want him either, and resisted strongly.
But his thoughts on the main thing, when he transposed his Galatea into “the last slut, a corrupt girl,” which he “buys from the Chechens in a muddy brothel near the station,” and also has “into all her perversely squishing holes,” shocked me and the thrill: why would it, Yuri Alexandrovich, as Ostap so suffered? To you, clear to white, with tears and pain, drew a sad love story for your fellow tribe - to the same old goat, just like you: where did you find the slut here ?!
The fact that he could not express his response feelings to Anya after the moment she opened it to him is a stretch, but it is understandable: here I am such a dumbass, and what?
But about the rest of the thoughts I want to ask: did he understand what he wanted?
Dear author, sitting gracefully on the edge of the cooling Logic's corpse, and waving a leg in “labutenes nah”, condescendingly explained to us, ignoramuses: that, they say, “Anya really felt sympathy for the teacher, and probably, this sympathy also pushed her into the arms that other middle-aged man. " The Dead Logic once again convulsively jerked and froze forever ... The reader's mind, which did not understand, flowed onto her slim body.
The author, without knowing it, explained to us a whole layer of inexplicable actions of modern youth: “I love you, but with strange love.”
But that's not all.
Let us turn to the original source: Anya “along the way realized that, in complete contradiction with her own monologue, she sucked at the assessment. And thinking - stupidly offended. Oh my god, how sweet! Ah, ah, this amusing female logic and ordinary diffuse forgetfulness! What are you, what principles - where did you get that? What are you saying, I used to weave there: "I will never get marks for sex?" Hi-hi-hi, full, Yuri Alexandrovich, I just got excited a bit! On C grade, say, pump? Shit question! Where are you, hee-hee, a member? Let's get him here ... "And, sticking out her tongue, the student licked her head ... raising unearthly huge eyes at Yuri Alexandrovich" ...
It seems to me that the young girl, entangled in her feelings, as the author presented to us, does not fit in with the one who so famously sucked at the end.And its cynicism, which is the most useful of all the neo-fused cracks (apparently there will be a sequel to this story), does not even go into any gates.
Therefore, there was annoyance throughout the story from the apparent inconsistencies, unmotivated actions and thoughts of the characters of this oral drama. Unless, of course, Yura and Anya are not patients of the same hospital, but of different wards: for boys and for girls. To my great regret, the picture was vague and blurred, and, most importantly: far from reality.
But strong confidence that the author has a huge potential, which he promised to develop to the joy of us, his thoughtful readers.
"Fine. I think that for three I really know the material, even though you did not want to listen to me. And at four I still do not know. All the best "(c)
P. S. Great! And I put the well-earned three =) All the best!
From Russia with Love ...
Continuing discussion on the forum:
https://eroticspace.info/forum/threads/590/page-52
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Here it is you have a powerful bomb.) You would be the one. Valeryanochki. And then so much the cacabuff was spent, and why? To dip into the mud a story that a person liked, “whose opinion you sincerely value” (c). Poor man. I don’t envy him with such “treasurers”)
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You did not understand everything correctly, sixth: I liked this story))
It would not be interesting - I would have passed by =)
I believe that the author is quite an adequate person, and will not respond to my notes the same way as you)
And the “man” is all right: he respects the opinions of others, even if it is different from him))
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No, no, if valerianochka saves me from the expanded comments, but I will have pretensions to her: it will be more boring! Well, and still much nicer, when it’s clear about low grades, what they are for.
So for my part no offense.
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Gift, well, you as a woman have never been ... With logic, everything is clear. A student who understands sopromat is smart, serious, and sits on textbooks, not at discos and shops, of the same age, she probably considers idiots and therefore needs a older man. YA, she, of course, will fall in love, although she may not be fully aware, he is smart and every week she is forced to listen to him for a couple of hours (and only female students, and yes, men going to the lectures know about the hypnotic effect of the male voice at lectures) but she still does not know how to break the rules. Therefore, in his spare time a semi-free age hrych looms there. And including the fact that the hrych is so going to acquire the features of m ... ka, to YA who has shown humanity, she can be pulled with a vengeance. Playing bad and good cop, you know?)
For me, inconsistencies, rather, were in loud and verbose explanations, they say, “I am not like that”, for my taste, an adequate real situation - to flare up, lose the gift of the word and dump it. Moreover after such a return to the class - well, that, ahem ... Well, suppose he said something there, or rather, SO, that she realized that he was not calling her for yopli, but to have a purely heart-to-heart talk, that it is so necessary ... And we suppose that its oncoming movement to it is purely a movement of the soul. But then it all complicates. Because the question moves from the plane of the offer of a role-playing or interchange into the plane of some kind of relationship, which is very difficult, considering the teaching and student position of the heroes and even the previous love of a married man ... I think the author just decided to make life easier for YuA and himself, putting a quick finish on in the form of an attack of cynicism. Such is the very disappearing one and the one that removes all the possible changes and difficulties of the woman after that, the continuation of the average man's erotic fantasy))
To my taste (but this is more the author) psychologism is (not counting the ending), which sets a certain state - after all, men and women watch (and, along the way, read) porn differently))
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Here at the end I wanted to indignantly exclaim that if everyone in porn were like in real life, then in half of the stories and films, the macho heroes would not have been given stupidly by twisting a finger at the temple. But then it was thought that if such high demands were placed on my characters, then this was probably a good sign. :)
And thanks for the clarification about Anya. Some readers understand her so much better than me, that I already feel embarrassed for trying to somehow explain Anya in the comments. :)
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For irony cool))
About porn. Porn porn discord, agree. There is, after all, a place where a yopla during the whole time, there is - where the participants portray plumbing and housewives, and even talk for a while near the sink, imitating the presence of a plot, and there is even one where the plot is of paramount importance. Also in the stories. Each of these types of their lover. And each differently "penetrates" into the "spectator" and has an impact on him. That is why, for example, pornaktera dress up in plumbing suits or a gentleman and a peasant woman, teacher and student? Because there are some plots that excite the imagination, if you start losing them in your head, the excitement begins to grow even without the demonstrative appearance of “boobs-pisek”. Of course, they have not been canceled, and it’s very good if everything ends with them (if we are talking about porn), but the success of what the “viewer” will believe in the picture and get excited depends largely on how similar they are to real costumes, interior and game actors) And in the text, these tasks perform a description of the characters, their motives and internal movements. That is, a description of them will be touched upon by some internal experience of the reader and it will be excited, even if there was nothing or little between the characters. Because in the "air smell of fried", yeah)
For some reason it seems to me that you will not come to the pure first variant, although I do not rule out that you will try it yourself. From advice, where and how you move, I, thank you, refrain))
I leave komenty once a hundred years, and the last one was last week, break the schedule, lit up, damn ... Gifta and Anya thank for it) I’m shut up)
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It is nice to know that someone has been encouraged to disrupt the schedule, even if not himself, but with the help of Ani. :)
About porn, which is different - yes, I would like to try all the options. Actually, I am writing two stories now, one with a hopeless yoplay, and in the other it is so small that I don’t even know if it will pass on CT. In general, I will look. :)
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Honey escritor
I agree with you: I have never been a woman)
And let's leave the poor author alone: from such an abundance of attention, in my opinion, he was about & uel))
Smack! =)
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Hello, Gifted Writer! Positive emotions from reading the expanded commentary on the story, of course, overlap with negative emotions from rating 3, although it, to be honest, is a little lower than that which I myself put to my (non-ideal) creativity. :) Thank!
I don’t really like my heroes as people, although it was interesting for me to write about them. In my opinion, they seem to cause less irritation than you, but, after reading your review of the nature of YA, I conclude that it turned out to be “similar” (to what was meant): yes, yes, there was not the macho macho mind, namely, that a “unsettled man in his personal life”, acting “with the grace of an elephant in a china shop” - and yes, then what exactly Ostap suffered. Your monologue about the injustice of his subsequent fabrications might well have been the author’s direct speech, but I’m not sure that everyone would be interested in reading the author’s opinion about each step of his characters right in the text. :)
As for Anechka, I (in PM and in the comments) explained her much better than I did myself. :)
But the news that it’s just a shameful way to look away from the pornographic scene in the story is bad news .: (The question arises: can there be a pornographic story in which you don’t empathize with the characters? And if not, can you empathize with characters that don’t like Because if there isn’t even here, it’s absolutely bad news: there are few human types that I like, and not all of them are really suitable for porno stories.
In general, thanks again for the feedback, I hope that this is not the last and not the best of my work, and that someday you will once again have the desire to criticize me. :)
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Dear Oshun Shango!
I have great respect for the steadfastness with which you withstood my caustic comment on your work - I shake my hand!
You have worthily passed the “test for lice”, and I’m honored to see you among my friends! =)
Authors who adequately perceive the reasoned criticism of the unit, so they should be protected as the apple of an eye!
For example, the previous victim of the analyzes is still lonely waving a wooden saber, choking with resentment))
With frenzy reads my stories and jerks off. Crying and jerking off ...
Although he warned him at the very beginning of the discussion of his "creativity" that he just came to hand: nothing personal, and
I'm not interested in his story, unlike yours.
But when weighty arguments come to an end, they usually transfer to the personality of the author — this has always been the lot of the weak.
You, on the contrary, took the blow with dignity, for which I bow to you, honor and respect!
I will tell you a secret: if you reacted differently, then this review would be the last: I already made a bunch of enemies, lost some “plus sign to karma”, I was declared evil, and mentally betrayed ostracism, anathema, and auto-da-a = = )
And as fans of your talent, which is certainly present in your work, they avalanched me a bunch of colas in my stories: I wondered if events took a revolutionary turn, and I would have to hide behind barricades from indignant demonstrators.
Now essentially the questions asked:
Oshun Shango said: ↑
“The question arises: can there be a pornographic story in which you do not empathize with the characters? And if not - is it possible to empathize with characters that do not like? Because if there isn’t even here, it’s absolutely bad news: there are few human types that I like, and not all of them are really suitable for porno stories. ”
You can relax: in my opinion, to jerk off with a jerk is not necessarily “empathize with the characters”))
Certain combinations of words affect the main organ of human excitation - the brain, and that one, in turn, creates the necessary pictures in the head. There are not many options, it is easy to find them. Is it necessary for your stories - it's up to you)
And, yes, you can empathize with characters that do not like: “experience” is the antonym of indifference, and does not have a plus or minus sign.
Successes in your further creativity!)
Regards, Gifted Writer
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Thanks a lot for joining my friends list :)
I am extremely surprised, of course, with what kind of excitement has arisen around the supply of metal - without much effort on my part. :) It was fun.
As revenge for ridiculing Anya and Yura, telling you stakes in stories is somehow not very funny. If there were no stakes, but triples, it would have been a little funnier, but I know about myself that I didn’t seem to have put anything below 8 (and in the range of 8–10 it seemed to be).
Because of working for some time, he disappeared from communication, but generally I stay with you and all that.
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Oshun Shango,
It’s good that you kept from a hypothetical revenge on my stories with “cokes” and “threes”: my mention in the Postscript to the review of your story “three” was made only for wit, so well, in my opinion, woven into the canvas of your story: I did not give your story any assessment))
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I agree with Gifted Writer that you have a lot of potential. And as a “thoughtful reader,” I would like to note the following: 1. Such a stormy reader’s response to the story is explained by the fact that you missed what you wrote through. Therefore, 10. 2. The work clearly demonstrates the well-learned lessons of psychological prose. Before us is a logically clearly sustained narration about conflicting feelings, motivated, on the one hand, by the youth and inexperience of the heroine, and on the other, by the very difficult position of the hero, his confusion before late love. Experiences Yu. A.(pity, tenderness, passion, jealousy, reaching for revenge) are depicted convincingly. The dramatic intensity of events is fixed by a composite ring. 3. A good is the name of the story, because we are talking about the resistance of human material (soul, character) to circumstances, “animal thirst”, psychological pressure, etc. 4. The story is much stronger and more interesting than your explanations to it. Is it worth making excuses?
With the wish not to change myself G.
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Bravo, Gologramma!
+1
You have turned out no less convincing analysis of the work and more talented than me, for brevity ...
Under paragraph 3 and 4 I subscribe completely =)
With admiration, G. W.
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Thank you very much, Gologramma! About the strength of materials, by the way, I did not think in this way, but when it is already written, it really is. :)
I agree about the explanations: already two readers, who undertook to explain something about Anya, managed to do it better than me.
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The author does not pay attention to the stinking hat trying to hide behind the excuse in beautiful words. Words are words after all, but the smell is ugly to her not to hide))) it is ridiculous to read such “reviews”, a lot of empty words, it hurt, but it turned out to be a red eye. Bias gives very much and, as always, the desire to seem smart shows the stupidity of such actions. There are such people here, they believe that if a bunch of words that are not used in simple communication are crammed into their “reviews” and each sentence has a hidden meaning (poyёbka) which simply shows the author’s stupidity, then they will elevate themselves in the eyes of those who read them in their. Time is unfortunately formatted, they will soon be wearing frying pans on their heads to stand out with their mind and wit. The only opinion that you should listen to is Kappa's opinion and do not pay attention to negative reviews and attempts to make you think that you don’t know how to write stories and that’s not your business. I am sure your story is better than the ones that occupy the first places here, with the rating below 9 which the moderators do not give, so that the authors of their grief do not fall below the average mark for all their work needed to publish paid stories. In general, all the best in the future.
And for those who would not like it, I think we need to make up and relieve the tension under the song “We will continue to act!”.
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SuperPuper, everything is in order: I am not a schoolgirl-poetess, who can dissuade a couple of unresolved comments in my own abilities and capabilities, so I don’t plan to go anywhere from the site. I normally perceive criticism, with interest. :) Thank you for worrying about me.
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Oshun Shango,
It makes no sense to pay attention to this odious person: You are probably one of the few who do not know yet =)
This 30 year old nits have long been calculated, you & Bali. and dried on the ST))) No one pays any attention to it)
He is mocking the authors for the sake of the banter, even without reading their stories - simply out of boredom, which has taken on a clinical character.
Do not feed the troll - this is the golden rule))
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Why the hell is so quick to delete comments? at least give read what they write interesting.
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Resistance "Material."
For example, I was fascinated by the story, but not so much by the presentation, as by an impeccable storyline and internal coherence. The incarnation turned out to be a little worse than expected, but thanks to a brilliant idea, it could not spoil this student story. In other words, I look at this literary experience as a good pencil sketch, a future oil painting.Before painting does not reach, but for graphics is very even nothing. The composition is beautiful, the prospect is flawless, but the images of the characters turned out to be excessively schematic, if not to say that they are crumpled, but the plot pulled everything out on itself. What actually is an indicator, if not talent, then the skill of the author.
I read, but rather out of curiosity about the hype raised around him, but I read the comments with horror and regret. And the main regret is that
And dear author, and commentators kind to my heart, not only have no idea about the strength of materials that are so hotly discussed, but they didn’t even look at Wikipedia about this. Otherwise, the author could have answered all the questions of the spiteful critics with the basic axiom of the mat:
“The calculation of real structures and their elements is either theoretically impossible or practically unacceptable in its complexity.
Therefore, the model of an idealized deformable body, which includes separate assumptions and simplifications, is applied in the resistance of materials. ”
Someone here very well noted about the inextricable link between the name of the story and the plot intrigue, and the point is not that the girl took over the raw materials and donated, and not about how the students' teachers teach. The story is about the resistance of “Material”, about the ability of a person to resist circumstances and to exist in an aggressive environment while remaining human.
I don’t know, maybe the author conceived it, but the image of Yuri Alexandrovich in this story turned out to be surprisingly poor. However, something tells me that the average teacher of sub-grade and should look like a professional loser. Judge for yourself, there is no money for a peasant deeply for “forty”, there is no family, and judging by the way he behaves, on the exam, God also did not endow him with brains.
And in general, the inability to build an intimate and personal life working as a teacher of boring materials in the university, where there are many sexually mature, but poorly intelligent students, this in itself is evidence of clinical idiocy. As well, and his "charming" manner to offer the girl a solution to the issue.
- You have three holes, my dear, let's discuss which one of them and what assessment we will stare at you ...
That, to the girl Ani, so she turned out to be the opposite in kind, surprisingly whole and strong, despite the internal contradictions, love torments and rubbish in her head. I want to note that judging by the context of the story we are talking about a first-year student and the first semester. So the girl is still not eighteen, yesterday's schoolgirl, almost a child, and here she is poor, and the strength of raw and unhappy love, and the littered session and harassment of an elderly goat teacher.
It is, of course, clear that the girl in her life will have to sleep with so many goats, that there is no point in steaming due to the fact that one is more, one is less, but still. The very first humiliation in adulthood, they are doubly offensive. And for this girl it is all the more offensive that she considered him, if not a friend, then at least an elder companion, and not only respected him as a teacher, but also had personal intimate secrets that he trusted when she became completely confused.
The student didn’t have a special allergy to the teacher, she could give him herself if he had enough brains to invite her to drink champagne and gossip a few words about love, after all, she was sick with a married man of forty-eight. But as I wrote, instead of brains he has a textbook on the resistance of materials.
As a result, the girl first experienced a shock, left without any support from the teacher, and the former patron himself safely filled her up at the standings. Well, at the retake, he made it clear that he perceives it only as a piece of meat with three holes in which you can put a member.
Shock, she experienced non-childish, but quickly gathered her thoughts and appreciated the scale of w * py into which life had pushed her, bought out her human dignity and emotional balance, for the lowest possible price. The author writes about this crumpled, but it is clear that this price was not easy for her.And who, one wonders, said that if a girl sucks well, then she is finished bl @ d? Even at the age of seventeen, you can sleep with everyone who liked it, and every day with a different one. But this does not mean that the girl is ready to fuck for loot or to undress for evaluation.
As a result, it is clear from the text that the girl Anya not only sucks well, but also matched the material much better than the top three. Judge for yourself, the basic concepts of resistance of materials, assessing the ability of a material to resist external influences are: Strength, Stiffness and Resistance.
The student has demonstrated that the material from which she was created is capable of perceiving the external load without collapsing, which means is durable. Keeps its geometric parterres within acceptable limits under external influences, which means it is tough. Keeps stability in its shape and position under external influences, and therefore is stable.
What am I talking about?
Oh yes...)))
We read about the resistance of materials, now we will wait for the continuation of the story about student Anya on the topic “How the steel was tempered”, when at the end of the next semester, the girl tells the goat teacher she is ready to take the test for the top five, buy a faloimiter, come to visit him handcuffed to the battery and otstraponit the full program in the style of "Girls with a dragon tattoo" take a picture on the camera and put it on the Internet. I think that Yuri Alexandrovich honestly deserved such entertainment ...)))
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Anfisa, thanks for the interesting review! Yes, it turned out to be interesting with engineering metaphors - it’s curious at all when there is more to the story than the author actually tried to shove there. :)
As for the image of Yuri Alexandrovich, he was so mean or not so, the devil knows, but that YA was not meant as a machoman or a positive character is a fact. So I will not intercede for him. :)
Thanks again for your kind words. I hope to continue to write something readable. :)
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"it is curious at all when more than the author actually tries to fuck up in the story than the author himself. :)"
You know, if the author is not so much a logical mindset as an intuitive one, he may not immediately see much in his story.
I have this very often. Maybe you have the same. You write “how you feel” and perceive the picture as a whole. In this case, you are an excellent target for criticism of logically savvy reviewers))
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... On the back row - in the “gallery”, in the farthest audience of the university, a man sat and cried quietly, smearing the shaking cam product of the external secretion of the gardera gland over a stingy, unshaven person. In his hand, he squeezed the bottle and sometimes sipped a burgundy burgundy straight from the neck.
Next to him on the table, smoking freshly gutted remains, lay Yuri Alexandrovich and looked with a glassy look into the dirty-gray ceiling. His carefully polished bones lay side by side, washed by sympathetic hands, with inventory numbers marked directly on the dry bone with a marker.
Anya was banging in the corner: her body was twisted intolerable metamorphosis, and her face expressed the whole range of feelings inherent in the immaculate harlot - from the universal repentance of a holy sinner, to the utmost cynicism, flavored with a generous portion of military sarcasm ...
“Bitch-and-and ...” a man howled thinly, looking at the apocalypse surrounding him, suddenly covering his work, and frantically took another sip from a saving bottle.
- Where is the truth ?! - he cried, and his gaze rested on the unfinished chord ... And a flash of inspiration suddenly flashed in his inflamed brain with ancient knowledge, and gradually the sacral meaning of what was happening began to reach him ...
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Ah ha ha, yes, this is just a flawless comment! :)
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Thank you, dear author!)
You need to positively join the new project “Literary Arbor”, which started the other day on the PT forum: adequate people with a sense of humor have always been in great shortage =)
I am grateful to Robi for the fact that she “discovered” you for me)
In general, join our team rather: it will be interesting! ;-)
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By all means
Actually, I just sent a new story to moderation. If he passes it, I will immediately drag you to the Arbor to wash your bones. :)
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For promotion novice - a great option.
I would not go there.
Yes, I could not immediately go.
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I'm new, I can. :)
But in general - here in the self-advertisement of the site something is written about the dark side, and so my dark side likes to wash the bones in public. I don't say anything about the light. :)
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I would call the story not “Remaking the Sub-Matrix”, but simply “Copromat”.
“Retake” is the self-limitation of the topic of students and sessions, while the topic of the story is wider. And yet, I dare to correct Anfisa T .: resistance of the material is not the resistance of the material, but the resistance of the materials. In plural. By the way, they study most often from the second year, but this is not so important now. More importantly, the heroes, as if not contrary to the author, behaved like materials with unpredictable and unexplored properties, behaved differently than they usually do at times experienced porn fliers, showed obstinacy and self-will. It’s bad for them or not - a question of tenth importance, because the author initially stated that the story does not pretend to be realism. But here’s what the characters remembered for such a behavior to the reader, and everyone saw in them both pluses and minuses, - an indisputable merit of the author. From me 9 points.
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