Senior Lieutenant Sidorov was still sharp-witted and quick-witted at the police school. For which he was appreciated by the authorities. Free attachment to high professional qualities was a colorful appearance of a pronounced Romanesque type. Together with broad shoulders, lieutenant shoulder straps and a polished cockade, the senior lieutenant made a completely destructive impression on the opposite sex. Than did not hesitate to use shamelessly. And now Andryusha Sidorov, who had just changed from duty, was sitting in the familiar “Ashot” eatery and sipping a fresh beer. The police uniform did not embarrass either the owner, the visitors, or the form holder himself. But the young girl next door, she just bewitched. Quietly grunting to himself, Andrew decided that the evening was a success. He smiled broadly and prepared to defeat her neighbor with his most killer compliment: “You have awesome eyes.” But the words did not have time to say how the girl blurted out:

- And I'm completely free. “Good move,” the lieutenant appreciated her maneuver.
“So you can not waste time courting.” Pretty woman famously snapped his hand and dragged him to the exit. Without ceasing to chatter, she shoved her into the front seat of the car and rushed off the quarry through the darkening streets. With such an enviable persistence of a policeman, no one has yet sought. This turned out to be unexpectedly pleasant, enticingly intriguing and extremely exciting. Starley relaxed and completely plunged into the bewitching chatter of a casual acquaintance.
“My name is Lena,” she said in passing, already rattling the keys at the front door. “Senior Lieutenant Sidorov,” the satellite introduced itself out of habit.
“How sweet it is,” the girl diligently blushed, “and so ... courageously.”

In the apartment, Andrei looked around professionally, with the tenacious gaze of the genetic ment who had isolated men's things on a hanger and men's shoes on a shelf. "Married," he determined right away. - No problem. Not for the first time. Behind the shoulders of the Starley, there were several clumps in the closets and flights from the balconies. The case is worked out and simple. The main thing - time to group on the way to the ground. On the way to the bedroom, where the lieutenant was pushed with soft movements, Sidorov determined the plan of the apartment with a determined eye. The lack of a balcony door within the line of sight was depressing. The third floor caused not very pleasant feelings, but soothed soft drifts under the windows. But ... the sought-after balcony showed up in the twilight of the bedroom and Sidorov sighed with relief: “Break through. Not the first time. And then the graceful female hands gently pushed him onto the bed, not even allowing him to remove the form.

“This is so ... exciting,” Lena whispered hotly in his ear, “this is so courageous. Starley blinked and prepared for adventure.
“Give me a present, give me a present,” a casual acquaintance said.
- Which one? - the policeman was surprised. After hearing a confused girlish speech, accompanied by theatrical wringing of hands and a look in the eyes, Sidorov thought that he had not seen anything delusional in his life and had not heard it. But ... the desire of a woman is the law, and, sighing heavily, Starley began to undress.
- Maybe the cartridges still take out? - He asked hopefully Lenochka. She shook her head negatively, showing that in the cartridges it was precisely the very beauty.
“After all, she can blabahn at the most inappropriate moment,” he tried to persuade her. After a brief lecture on the safety of handling firearms, Helen agreed that the cartridges should be removed.

In the middle of the bedroom there was a completely naked senior lieutenant Sidorov - the honor and pride of the district police station - but with a holster over his shoulder. The bloody belt fairly rubbed bare shoulders and made it difficult to move. The pistol of the classic brand PM in this situation was completely out of place, but the girl looked at him, barely concealing her admiration. All the inconvenience of his position Sidorov fully appreciated when he damn sweat.What was easy, given the frantic temperament of his new acquaintance. Holster tightly crashed into wet skin and refused to move even a millimeter, causing incredible suffering. Starley howled softly from the wild cocktail of feelings, of which the excitement was not the most important. On the outskirts of the brain loomed the sad thought that the shoulders would have to be treated. But little Lena was worried a little, and she famously spun under Sidorov, taking the most seductive poses. Breaking the hell with a thread, the cop turned the girl over to him, tightly fixing the slag in the knee-elbow position. He sighed lightly and continued to enjoy.

And then ... as in the most mean melodrama, the bell rang at the door. Of course, it turned out to be a husband who unexpectedly arrived from a business trip. If it was a neighbor who came for salt, even Sidorov would be surprised. Huge Casanova instantly jumped out of bed and expertly rushed to dress. Helen frantically put on her robe and tried to make a sleepy expression on her face.
“I'm coming, dear,” she shouted into the corridor, hiding behind a protracted yawn. Starley even managed to peck her in the neck before the winter air swallowed his trained body. Flying from the balcony and swearing loudly, Sidorov noted with professional eyes the disarray in the area entrusted to him. To the unfortunate granny-dandelion of God, some subject of a clearly criminal appearance persistently stuck. The bastard tried to take away his bag from his grandmother, and it seems he even threatened with a knife. The old woman did not give the bag, cried and suddenly screamed in her cocky voice:

- Militia-II. From the height of the third floor in a snowdrift, the body of a police lieutenant with one toe, hidden in a pocket, landed aptly. Starley appreciated the situation and immediately showed to the obstinate criminal his most gorgeous punch: a direct uppercut to the body, sending him into the ringing darkness.
- you hto, my dear? - Granny gasped. Sidorov shook himself off like a dog, straightened his hat and shoulder belt, and barked his signature 9:30: - Police, a citizen. Arrived on call.
“The archangel and all the holy saints,” the victim of the predatory attack crept finely, “how quickly he appeared. Miracles, and only.

Opening the door, Helen immediately got into her husband's cooled chicken breast.
“So missed, so missed,” she purred in the hope that he would believe. But apparently, suspicion of adultery in the unfortunate occurred before, because, pushing his wife into a corner, he immediately went to the bedroom. And the first thing that he saw in the matrimonial nest - a lonely and pronounced alien sock, lonely wallowing on the carpet.
“I’ll fag you,” whispered the nerd in thick bifocal glasses in a whispering whistle and ran to the balcony. The first thing he saw when he looked into the darkness was the valiant lieutenant of the native militia who captured the intruder. Of course, the intruder emerged from the cuckold's balcony door and accidentally caught the eye of a servant of the order, whom he rightly took for a thief. Driven by jealousy and a thirst for justice, Lenochkin spouse flew in the wake of Starley from the third floor in a snowdrift. He quickly got up and rushed to the aid of the policeman, intending, in the heat of the fight, to avenge his desecrated honor. He swung his foot, and ... slipped. The leg passed tangentially to the intruder, and with a bewitching sound, Sidorov hit the forehead. Going into a deep swoon, Starley thought: “Not prokanalo. Still figured out. "

The intruder, awakening from a dramatic change of scenery, suddenly rebelled and matured to adequately respond to the enemy. Before his unclouded surplus of conscience, his eyes were frail, short, “nerd” in bifocal glasses. The inattentive type did not notice the lying Sidorov. “Oh, fucking defender, I’ll be killing now,” he said sincerely to an unserious opponent. The unlucky spouse did not even have time to understand why he was so, when the truth was on his side, as he fell into a quiet faint next to the lieutenant. Where he sent the robber with a dubious past and future. The silence that settled around the silence was suddenly broken by a shrill female cry on an outrageously high note.The robber lifted his head up, trying to find the source of ultrasound, but he saw only a pan of sauerkraut that was rapidly approaching his head. Which Lena aptly sent to the destination from the balcony, trying to provide all possible assistance to her faithful. As a result of this perfidious attack, the offender landed in a quiet glider alongside Sidorov and Lenochka's spouse. The next body that graced the snow-covered sidewalk was a frail old woman, who had previously stood in a frozen column. The fragile senile health did not sustain such an amount of testosterone around, and grandmother suddenly saw that she was left alone in the middle of the street, surrounded by three dead bodies.

In the office took all five. A pot of cabbage and a Sidorov sock were attached as evidence. Helen was silent as a partisan, denying all involvement in the incident. Grandmother justified her silence with temporary amnesia and refused to give evidence at all. The robber claimed that he and Lenochka, and Sidorova, and the “nerd”, and he saw her grandmother for the first time. But in fact, he is the victim, but not all the others. In confirmation of his words showed a huge lump on his forehead. The unhappy husband long apologized to the elder for a random blow to the forehead, which sent him on a long knockout. The protocol was signed by all, agreed on the world. Helen picked up her hubby under the elbow and swam out with him from the office, throwing a mysterious brilliant glance at Sidorov. He pulled out his chest with a wheel, tried to spread his broad shoulders proudly and ... gasped in pain, which he had hardly noticed before. The shoulders were pounded into the blood. Silently frowned upon and made a vow never to mess with married women.