Native Baltic. As they say, already their waters. We will be home soon. The ship is on autopilot. Here, with nothing to do, the officer and talks to the watch sailor. Senior assistant - seasoned sea wolf, overgrown with shells to the very top. And, the sailor is a completely yellow-haired boy. Sitting in my captain’s chair, I listen to their conversation.

- Where is the sweetheart? - Starpoma interested in this news.
- From Ivanovo.
“Ivanovo is the city of brides,” the senior chief sang awfully, “Oh, you know that there are ten women for one man?”
- So what? The sailor turned to him.
- What does that mean? - the chief assistant made surprised eyes:
- He was going to go. Eh! Young green. What could be worse than the crowd of dissatisfied women?

- You say, too, - the boy was indignant,
- I was in Ivanovo. There is nothing like that there.
“No,” he mocked him, “Ah, connection with his beloved, how are you holding?”
- By e-mail. Sometimes, on a mobile phone, if it takes. The chief mate approached him:
- Eh! Youth! Spoiled you life. Mobile phones. Everything is in cars. No romance. In our time, a girl ride on a tram, so she is all glowing with happiness. And if you buy ice cream for 13 kopecks? Everything! Yours There were no mobile phones. Radiograms sent! This is not some vulgar telegram. Imagine, the postman brings a radiogram! The name itself already means that from the ocean! Neighbors thrill with delight and curiosity! The girl melts with pride! Girlfriends tarnish with envy! Sailor caught his every word.

Knowing Leonid Vasilyevich for many years, I also began to listen with interest, wondering how his story would end. And, that more and more heated:
- The day before yesterday the Danish straits passed. Skagerrak. Kattegat
“Well, they did,” the sailor did not understand.
- So, here, - continued the chief officer, - Ten years ago, one of our wife was radioed: "WHERE ARE YOU." He answered: “I go with a scherrac”. It is not known that she invented herself there, only ran away from him. The family broke up. You can imagine the power of the radiogram word. Sanych! Well, you remember? he extended his hand in my direction, demanding confirmation. I nodded in agreement, although in reality everything was completely different.

- Leonid Vasilyevich! And now you can send a radiogram? - the guy did not take his eyes off him.
“Simple,” the senior officer dismissed indulgently. “Just make up a radiogram, it's an art.” Especially beloved girlfriend. Here you need to have everything in one phrase. And how you love her! And how missed you! Be sure to mention their merits necessary. At the same time, the feelings of the beloved should be checked. What is she capable of for you. In short, you need a lot.

- Wow! - the boy even wiped the sweat from his forehead. - Leonid Vasilyevich! Help write. I beg you.
“What can you do with you,” the chief officer said nothing for a few seconds. It was clear that he was tensely thinking. In a burst of inspiration, even his cheeks turned pink.
- Let's write this way, - he hugged the sailor, - "THERE IS SIZE AND DESIRE NO MONEY ON ROAD."
- !!! - open mouth and admiring eyes of a kid.
- A senior mate! Fuck... ! - I almost fell out of the chair, - Stop talking on the steering wheel!
- Oh, what am I? I'm nothing. I wanted to help a guy.
- Leonid Vasilyevich innocently shrugged his shoulders.