- Serious attitude to anything in this world is a fatal mistake.
- And life is serious?
- Oh, yes, life is serious! But not very ...
Lewis Carroll "Alice in Wonderland"

- This shirt. No, not this, Mary. There that. Yes, she amazingly emphasizes the eyes. Stay calm, Alex, I need to lay your bangs! - I quietly sigh and freeze. Although every touch on my hair causes irritation, painful, incomparable. Maman knows this perfectly - I tell her all the time. However, this does not cancel my weekly visits to a hairdresser. And does not negate the fact that she constantly climbs into my hair herself. I close my eyes. Just leave. Not. Touch it. My. Hair!! Finally. She pulled clawed legs out of my hair and rushed into the living room.

- Aleks! Come here, Kiki wants to meet you !! - shrill little mom's voice is quite capable of making a hole in the wall. It is interesting - and if I do not go out, will she still scream? Until the walls collapse, until everyone is buried under them? I snort - no, she will fly in here and pull me into the living room in front of this moronic Kiki (whatever that is)

- We got it. We got it. Got it! - I whisper hot, but a new scream is already breaking into the brain. I shudder - and leave the room. Mary's maid looks at me and sighs guiltily.

- How much, Mary?

- Four. And this Kiki is the richest. And the nastiest.

- Here, Mr. Alex - gives me a tray with two glasses. I carefully take it, lift my chin and head for the living room door. Mama's soiree began to enjoy success - after all, the promising bridegroom had grown up (this is me, probably!). And every Saturday we are just besieged mothers with girls on the issue. Fatty (pyshechki!) With bad skin. Skinny (slender!) With bad skin. All with bad teeth for some reason. And all stupid to faint. Slowly raise the corners of his lips. Mary grins. OK OK. I put on a very broad smile, I enter. Mama, seeing me, grins in the same way - and beckons a bony handle to herself.

- And vooot, meet. My son. Alex! - Continuing to shine a smile, I slowly swim up to two ladies near the mother.

- Let me buy you a drink? - The one that takes a thicker glass.

- Oh, Niko! I never thought it was your son! I would decide that this is a brother, and the eldest! Alice, honey, meet me. This is after all the son of Nicoletta! Niko, they look charming together. - Mama giggles and waves her hand. Pour this champagne on her perhydrol pile, but ...

- Little children, you can go out into the garden. To fresh air! Alex! Don't forget to treat Ellie to champagne! “Is she no longer Alice?” Ellie Blyayya ... I got in the course. I stare at the plump girl — she doesn't even look up. Heck. And this one hit.

- Come on, Miss Alice? - we are moving away from the chirping ladies.

- Thank you, Mr. Alex. Only I will not go to the garden. - From the bottom to the top, calm, bright blue eyes are looking at me. - please tell me where you have the library, and go to the ... garden. But! I'm not the only one. I slowly unload the tray somewhere in the flower pot.

- If we leave in different directions ...

- We are immediately dragged to the light of day! - She picks up.

- Ay, don't care. Come on, Miss Alice.

- Come on, Mr. Alex ... - she seemed to drop every word, like a heavy drop of mercury, in her quiet chest voice. I take her to the library - I close the door behind me, leaving, and I ask Mary to give a sign, if we are caught up, she nods in agreement. And he carefully slips out, slowly delirious along the path - the soiree has just begun, and there are still no smokers at every bush, no couples.

Where are you, where is the white rabbit, in a vest and with a pocket watch? I grin, take off my jacket and loosen my tie. I was five when I read the story of Lewis Carroll. And since then I am constantly looking for this rabbit hole, where you can hide from everything. And where the fairy tale begins.Mr. Carroll, you lied to me. There is no Rabbit, no holes. No, and there will not be a fairy tale. There are white roses in this garden, I walk up to them, touch the petals. No one would even think of painting them red. Even to please the queen. Slowly go around the house and suddenly I hear ...

- Alice, how can you! There are so many of them!

- Dear, dear Rabbit. Pozhaaaluysta. I can't be with them, you saw it! Just a little bit - I'll only talk to Madame Dahlia. - What is it? Mommy theatrical thought up to arrange? Strange, I have not heard of it. I’m hesitantly looking in the window - hell, it's a library! And ... and that same Alice is sitting in the chair ... And in front of her - no one else but Rabbit! He nervously steps over from his foot to his foot, looks at his watch (yes, he has a vest, and a pocket - and a watch !!) and tugs at his ears.

“Good, Alice.” Only for two minutes. And only for you! - The rabbit twitches its ears again, pulls out the foot and opens the clock. The rainbow light beats out of them and the girl happily smiles, pulls a hand to this light. I jerk up the sash, just diving into the room, knocking off the eared paws.

- What's going on here?
I only have time to think about it - because Alice gasps, I fall on the soft carcass of a long-eared one and, by some miracle, I manage to snatch the watch from him. And then ... Then begins the ugly dump - Alice rushed to pull out from under me Rabbit, who was wriggling and trying to keep the clock, and Mary ran up to the noise, who began to take me out of this pile. How it ended with them, I do not know. Just because Rabbit contrived and so loaded me in the forehead with both hind legs, that I no longer interested in others. This animal just knocked me out!

In the rainbow whirlwind all the same direction is guessed. Is it me who is swooning, or is I going somewhere? I don’t have time to understand anything, because I land sharply on something soft, publishing a surprised hoot, and then we roll with this someone or something, clinging to each other. Ay, damn, it hurts! Not only did I fall on all fours, tearing my knees and palms, so my comrade in misfortune, who had securely gripped my hair, was riding me. I unhook his hands from my head and shake the rider off me.

- Aliyisaa! - blissfully bleating fat boy, rolling his eyes and grabs me by the leg.

- What am I to you for the demon, Alice, idiot? - I push him away from my knee and look around. Around us incomprehensible, fairy forest. Unseen by me trees rustle above a head, stupefying aroma of strange flowers tickles nostrils. I clap my eyes and slowly get up. Lean to shake his pants - that's bad luck, broke. Mommy will itch. If he sees, because ...

- Hey, you. Where I am? What kind of place is it?

“Aliiiisaaa ...” the fat man was faint-eyed by the Gundosit, lounging on the grass. - Do not you know - this is Wonderland! - his eyes are closed, he must have hit hard when he fell. Since I still do not understand what kind of "Alice" in front of him.

- What other country? Hey, do you need help? - I lean towards him.

- Nooooo. - he smiles, from somewhere he gets a small pipe from under himself and lights it, letting out puffs of smelly smoke right in my face. Well, to hell with you, bun stoned.
I look around already more intently. It really looks like an unknown Wonderland, in Burton. It turns out that I fell on a mushroom, from which we then rolled down with a fat man. There he is, once again sitting at the very top and slowly sipping the phone. From the fungus goes barely noticeable path. I will go on it, there is no special choice anyway.

Wonderland, mean? Slowly, with a slight limp, I wander through the magical forest. I left the caterpillar (or its slightly modified version) on the mushroom. Whom to wait now? Hatter? Or Trulya-la and Tralya-la? Or maybe Alice herself is now coming out of that bush?

“It will,” a quiet purr resounds so suddenly over my ear that I jump. On the branch of a huge tree a huge striped cattle is reclining. Him ...