I had to stare there - what do I care about other people's relationships, to other people's lives, to other people's emotions? ... But a couple who show their feelings in front of everyone always attracts views. Whether it is such an innocent exhibitionism in combination with an equally innocent voyeurism, or some other highly erotic-aesthetic matter, or a banal household envy - I never thought about that. In the end, they just hug. So what?

I heard his cheeky confident voice, heard her remarks, absolutely not delving into the content and meaning of their conversation. Most likely, they just talked, while away the time, discussing some of their friends, talking about things that only two people understand. Yulia laughed several times, the guy laughed several times. Then everything was quiet. I squinted my eyes carefully - they were kissing. Then a quiet whisper came to me:

- Valerik ... well, do not ... please ... people are watching ...

- People? - the guy laughed. - What people? I do not see anyone. I only see your neck ...

I spat. Valerik ... well and the same! And he cackles like a goblin, and his jokes are primitive. Is it possible to laugh at such? Yes, she does not laugh. Only pretends smiles stiffly. Or is it just me think?

What's the difference? What do I care? Why does it bother me at all?

I decided to turn away and not look at this couple. But these voices behind my back ... And I do not want to, but I still catch her intonation. Here she is smiling, and her voice is like a stream. But it begins to act up and blow sponges - figuratively, jokingly. What does this goblin do to her? I clench my jaw and don’t watch, don’t watch, don’t watch!

Suddenly the laughter subsided, and again I barely heard her whisper:

- Well, Valera, well, do not ... not here ... I do not want now ...

So disgusting I have not felt for a long time. I wanted to fall under the ground and find myself on the other side of the equator. Here what to do here? And I can't leave, I have to wait for the minibus — then, after a winter damp, I stomp for an hour and a half and come home with wet feet, I don’t smile at all at all, and I also cannot control myself. It doesn’t matter to me what’s happening behind my back - I have to admit to it at least to myself. And I turn around to face the "enemy." How is it - “to face danger, to look into the eyes of your fear ...”? Well, not danger, not fear, but maybe what I see will move something in me, erase, and it will become easy and fun for me?

What blue eyes she has! And why do they look directly at me and do not even blink? What do they want from me? She - with by him... And this Valerik, pressed against her with his big goblin body, bent his lips to her neck, buried his face in her wonderful golden hair ... how can he now be well breathing in a fresh, delicate girlish scent. Surely he covered his eyes with pleasure. And she looks at me. Closely, desperately, sadly. And from this look all my anger goes somewhere. On the soul it becomes light and a bit sad. Even to Valerik, I feel something like pity. It even seems to me that if I walk up and tear him from her, brazenly shove him aside, take her hand and stay close, she will be happy. And her eyes will be replaced by enthusiastic and grateful and will burn me with a blue flame, reaching to my heart, causing a lump in my throat ...
Having struck a wheel on a puddle, a minibus pulled up, in one fell swoop snatching me from my dreams.
- Oh, there are still seats! Come on, move! - Bugay tore off his fragile body and unceremoniously pushed him to the transport. His hand rests on the girl's ass, as if only to help her climb the step. But how I just distorted!

* * *

Half-bus is really free. But Valerik, sitting at the window, for some reason decided to sit me on his lap. I resist - first jokingly, then seriously, - but in the end I find myself where he wanted, with my back to the window and sideways to it.Comfortable position to feel the girl - Valery took advantage of it. Well, that guessed the rear seats to choose ...

I feel awkward. Indeed, it is one thing to kiss a guy on the street, and quite another to feel his hand sliding on the leg, covered with thin tights, as he opens the jacket and tries to stroke his chest, as if he is trying to show that he is the master of all this, that he don't give a damn about everything ... But I don't give a damn! Especially when Sergey is sitting slightly ahead, in the right single row ...

It is embarrassing, embarrassing and embarrassing for the fact that Valerik does not listen to me at all, cannot restrain himself ... I shove his hands off, angrily pronouncing him in a whisper “Are you crazy? Let me go, I hate! ”, And he is all his own. I would not say that it was very unpleasant for me, somehow and somewhere in the very depths of me it even turned me on, but ... at the same time, I really didn’t want Sergey to think about me badly. For some reason, it was he ... Although - what difference does he have?

"Why won't he intervene?"

"And why should he interfere? ..."

"But ... how ..." - "And - how? ..."

I was so angry with Valera that when we left in Novospasovka, I immediately turned to go to my house. But he catches my hand:

- Yul, where are you going?

I break out:

- Where-where ... Valera, what was it? In a minibus?

- Why?

He does not understand? Or pretend to be a fool?

- What are you doing? You did not hear what I told you?

- Oh, that ... - Valerik laughs again. - Well, little, you still say that you did not like ...

- What is the difference ... - I involuntarily blush. - I did not want this, and you did not even hear me. I didn’t even want to hear ... It would be better if I stopped at the stop when I asked you about it. Well I froze all ...

- Yul, well, so at home and warm, what's the problem, then? - Valerik laughs and brings his face closer to me, as if intending to kiss. But instead, quite seriously, he says: “Well, don't show off, eh?” Well, I know what you want ...

- Is it? - It starts to bother me. - Did I tell you what I want?

“I don’t need to talk,” Valerik smiles. - I already see. All the girls want it ...

- I do not understand. Do you compare me with everyone, or what?

- Oh, well, that's not necessary, - my boyfriend mockingly crooked and again firmly takes my hand. - Let's go to my place. You will still have time for yours, and mine will be soon ...

I silently look at him. What is he still strong, confident, that he will not be denied ... He was denied at all ever? Maybe I will be the first? ..

- Julia, where are you? What are you? ... - Oh, how much in this question is perplexity, how much in this voice of insult, misunderstanding - “how-to-me-can-so-do?”

- Valer, I have no time. Call you later. - My jacket is gradually decreasing, dissolving between identical houses, melting like snow under the first gusts of the spring wind ...

* * *

And, of course, I did not call him. And, of course, I did not answer his calls - and he called me half an evening. In the end, I got tired of it, and I turned off the phone, thinking to myself: it was necessary before ... Having settled down with my legs in a corner of the sofa and wrapped in a rug, I listened to Shakira, holding a favorite personalized cup in my hands - a gift for the last day birthday, - drank tea with lemon and thought ... thought ... thought ... I had to think seriously. Most.

Of course, Valerik was always rude. And it was difficult to suspect him of excessive tact. But until today, I considered all this to be a manifestation of some kind of healthy brutality, swagger and impudence, which, as I thought, should always be present in a man. And really - and if you suddenly have to stand up for the girl on the street, who will do it better - some educated modest "nerd" or is this such a weird, rude, strong Valerik? And - for that matter - is not it easier to endure a couple of times tactlessness, inattention and rudeness in your ... Read more →