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- This is the original! - Moles screams at me.
“Copy,” I calmly repeat. Ready to laugh this scum in the face.
“It can't be,” the collector mumbles. Once again he goes through the “Dragon and the girl” in his hands, carefully picks at the line of the canvas.
- This copy was made by my grandfather. She is very high class, cooler than the one that I wrote - I confidently broadcast and begin to recover.
- Give me the original! - roars Moles. - Otherwise, I will tear you and this bitch into pieces!
I have to go all in.
“You swear here that you will let us live if I bring the original today,” I say, realizing that Krotov will not keep his word and will remove us anyway. He does not need witnesses. He was going to declare himself the owner of a masterpiece at European exhibitions, and I could prevent this from a real living owner.
“I promise,” he agrees. Abomination is easy on the word. Yes, he is ready to go crazy for the picture.
Alina remains hostage again, and I, “bald” and another guard, sit in the car. It is already night, and we are driving along the road indicated by me to grandfather's dacha, I am in the back seat with an ambala guard.
I pray for another chance! She is not to blame for anything, Lord, I alone deserved punishment. Help her! I tremble from the strained nerves and look ahead with hope.
On the road, a police car and a night patrol are visible at the curb. "Bald" slows down the course, not wanting to be hooked on speeding. I tense up like a tiger before the jump.
Like a dragon.
Until the patrol remains a dozen meters. Come on! I make a sharp lunge forward to the "bald", leaning on the steering wheel and twist it hard to the side. Everything happened in a second, in a moment. "Bald" and the guard did not have time to react, the car turns and at speed puts in a ditch. We turn over, we hear a scream of "bald man" and a push to the head ...
... I came to my senses when the police pulled me out.
- Hurry up! - I scream. - She is with them.
In a nutshell I explain the situation, the captain on the radio communicates with the separation. The policemen "politely" vypytyvayut at the "bald" address of Krotovsky lair clutching the broken head off, and the special operation begins, but already without me.
EPILOGUE
I was detained the next day, in the office. I was too similar to the identikit described by one of the victims of rape. I expected the statements on me ... to put it mildly, not one thing.
But to my surprise, it turned out to be only one.
Masha ... I did not rely, and admitted everything.
Someone asked for a date with me, and they took me out of the cell. The cops treated me well, despite the status of the rapist, and kept me alone. Yet I prevented a serious crime. Krotov and his guards were detained that night, and Alina was released. Everything turned out like she, Alina, deserved it.
In the meantime, I find her in front of me in the meeting room. Above the beautiful head of my beloved everything is clean. No rings. Warm, but thoughtful and sad look.
- Hello, Vlad.
She is trying to understand why I raped Masha. Well, I have to tell her everything. A fantastic story, but she believes me.
So my love is mutual.
“I will find this Masha and will be able to convince her to pick up the application,” she says fervently. “I'll explain everything to her.” You will be released.
It would be enough for me that Alina just waited for me while I was serving my sentence and was released. Then she remembers something, comes out and comes back with a gray cover. Undoing it under the satisfied beat of my heart. "The girl in the arms of the Dragon" illuminates the dark room of the isolator.
- This is the one that you brought back then in the evening, - says Alina. - I asked the police to give it to me for storage, because I called you your common-law wife. You need it, albeit a copy.
“Original,” I correct her. She raised her eyebrows in surprise, and her lips spread into a faint smile. - I then brought the original. Are you not worth the original? - I grin in my turn.
- Keep her at home, - I ask Alina. - Here it does not belong.
Desired ... There is again Alina in my life, there is a feeling and a sense. I do not know whether there will be more rings, but I do not regret the perfect. Yes, I took women against their will, raped the bodies, but the coast of their souls. Violating the law, enjoyed what is there to say ... But there is nothing worse for a man than when his beloved leaves him. Prematurely. Suddenly, no chance of return. I just wanted to prolong their life ... Alina comes up to me, buries her head in my chest, and in a moment we plunge into caresses. She unzips my pants pants ...
- Dragon wants to eat a girl? - asks Alina, when we, having embraced, drank tea brought in a thermos and at the same time admired a picture. We were united by this work, tied by an invisible, but strong thread. I hope for a very, very long time.
“What are you,” I say cheerfully. - The Dragon is kind and will not make the girl bad.
And added.
- He just wants her.
And I turn to my beloved ...
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Well, you, as always. Dual images seem to be a hero guy, but on the other hand ... I always considered sex to be the best medicine, it can even prevent mortal danger, the main thing is to have sex. But seriously, as always, it’s interesting to read, only here, in some places for some reason, she didn’t fully believe you, or rather the hero. Perhaps this is a feature of my perception.
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Thank you, colleague!)
I will try)
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Somehow it did not go ... not at all. With difficulty I moved through the 3rd page, it became easier. But the image of the guy somehow not worked out, the causes of violence did not understand. And "convince" at the end - just finished me.
“Here she is not the place” - did something change in our prisons? And the detainees are entitled to receive parcels without checking? But she came out and went in again, not at all according to the protocol of meetings.
Something I broke up, although in general - quite quite ...
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Dear Eve, sorry for the bluntness, everyone has the right to make mistakes. Criticizing is always easier than writing yourself. And it seems to me that you are unlikely to be able to write something close to this story, since for this you need to possess not only the ability to find fault.
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I will not argue, but if the author does not point out errors, how will he get better? Although it would be better to write in a personal, but I thought about that after clicking on the Add button
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Eve, don't be offended by me. You are right, it is necessary to point out mistakes, but this must be done very delicately, respecting both yourself and the author. I myself write novels, and I know the feeling of resentment when criticized roughly, and sometimes not entirely fair. Do not hurt the dignity of the author, especially since he is a man, and you are the best half of humanity. Since it has long been known that men very keenly perceive criticism from women. Especially if the man himself writes about the woman, putting her on a pedestal.
Respectfully,
Ptah
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Dear EVA, the reasons for the hero are spelled out in the story.
And about the regime of the detention center - antiques, this is one of the most innocuous, that if desired, and the price of the issue can be carried there.
Success in creative work!
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However, it was in those three pages that I read through the line. The detention center is debatable, but the author knows best;)
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convince ... the whole impression has gone bad (
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Of course, many things in this story surprised me, but this is not the main thing.And you shouldn’t focus on me, because I’m a foodie trying to find flaws.
The main thing is the integrity of the story from the beginning to the end. Accurately sustained line of behavior of the characters, beautiful sexual scenes, without a shadow of vulgarity, despite the drama, the unusual plot is present in full. But the most important thing is the style that distinguishes the author from others. Yes, it is necessary to work on many stylistic and spelling errors. There are undoubtedly a lot of them, and not only in this story. But, as is well known, with the Russian language and literature in our wonderful country, everything has long been “not thank God.” And this is something that is always possible to fix.
By writing "Girl ...", you returned yourself to yourself. Reading your previous stories, I thought you were losing faith in yourself, because so much was too forced and not very interesting. And, it seems to me that you yourself wrote this story with pleasure, since you feel lightness in it.
I would like to hope that there will be more stories written in this way and with faith in your talent. Do not waste on trifles.
With respect and hope. T.N.
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Thank you, colleague!)
Very artistic comment, thanks for the support!
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The first time I read on this site is a story in which I just skip all the descriptions of bed scenes, and not because they are bad ... the story is built very skillfully and I want to quickly find out what happens next, and the bed scenes seem to be disturbing. thank you, great piece. I say this to you, as a writer.
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Thank).
The opinion of the writer is especially valuable.
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Oh, by the way, I also did!
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For a long time reading stories on this site starting with comments.
She noticed that if they started attacking the eminent author about spelling, punctuation, personality, gender, age ... So, the written thing is really talented and causes envy.
You can safely read.
It will be interesting.
And since everyone so excited spelling and style, I'll start with a barrel of tar:
The system of the Russian language really provides for the formation of the forms of the 1st person singular of all verbs capable of having personal forms; however, the norm "does not allow" to form the form of the 1st person from verbs to win, to convince (* win, * win, * convince, * convince) and "order" to manage with descriptive turns: I can (I can)). So in theory, however, the devil is in the details.
Anyone who has encountered other Slavic languages in their life understands the problem. For example, I was an ethnic Russian, but I began to learn English grammar before Russian, and I entered first grade at a Serbian gymnasium in Belgrade.
In Serbian, most vowels are swallowed and not spelled, but consonants are written as heard (even in proper names), and there are no double consonants at all. In other words, the phrase: “The operation on Anna’s heart was successful” in Serbian sounds: “The operation of the device, Ana, has done well.” And when you have several Slavic languages in your head, the problem is tripled. And you can write correctly if you do not think about it. Any doubt is 10 minutes of reflection and digging in reference books ...)))
She studied the spelling of the Russian language later with tutors separately, but she did not fully master it.
And from the European languages the most difficult Portuguese, if you fold the Hungarian and Finnish. And the simplest Spanish and Romanian, Latin golimya ...
Well, a spoonful of honey:
I liked the story. I am afraid to cause another hysteria on the site, but here I would express my opinion, especially since the work of mr: Federer77 is not indifferent to me.
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Anfisa, as always, is capacious and instructive!))
About "convincing" I hesitate to even justify).
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Sorry I missed, in the heat of the moment, the word "day", and I feel that you will not miss it
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And what does it mean to gang up about spelling?) That is, it is normal to be a WRITER and make mistakes (not typos) -)
I am a philologist by education, and for me, “WONDER” is like a blade on metal. If we are talking about the WRITER, then this is simply a gross mistake. This looks especially awful when an interesting plot, interesting heroes, events are wrapped up in the story, I want to read further, read avidly, and at the end (literally in the last three lines) “win” some one gets out.
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You are right in many ways. This ill-fated "I assure" did not go unnoticed by me and blurred the impression of the ending. And nevertheless, I think if the story caused such an active skirmish, it means that it is worth discussing it. I think that you, in spite of “I will convince”, will not be the only one to remember this story. And this is already talking about something ... Your attentive reader, Ptah
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Moreover, “Often the line between the“ correctness ”and“ erroneousness ”of a phenomenon is so thin that it is impossible to distinguish between them” (Wikipedia), and by me this word was regarded as something generalizing, including spelling.
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I agree with Anfisa, if under the story of a distinguished author began the analysis of grammar and lectures from philologists, then the story is good.
Spelling topic:
I am not Russian, although I speak Russian much better than some, for whom this native language. Only, for me, he was the third in a row to study, and his native language belongs to a Turkic group. In most languages of this group there is no soft and hard sign in the letter. As a result, I still, often, make mistakes in the use of these signs.
Why am I doing this? And besides, dear philologists, fighters for the purity of the Russian language, everyone makes mistakes. Noticed it - indicate the author gently, this is not so ...
And do not arrange a parade of wrestlers under his / her stories.
Auto RU:
Glad you keep writing. I am a fan of your talent.
According to the story:
From the first page to the last was in suspense. Some moves were guessed, some are not. But all the time there was sympathy for the hero. You rewarded him with a talent of saving, foreseeing. But together with foresight, they hung a heaviest load on him. Fight against your own conscience. In the end, the hero does not cause disgust, but sympathy.
You managed to combine incompatible, and do it brilliantly, as always.
+10
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Ro_li, I have not read the story yet. I was surprised by the comments. I also think that if “philologists” are wedged in, then the story is good and worth reading. Everyone has the right to make mistakes. True writers, those who sell, have editors. At the same time, they themselves do not always speak the language. In short, I will read, I will write down the text)
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We write here from a variety of languages. There are authors who translate. There is, in literature, such a thing as an authorized translation.
I am struck by the opinion of philologists in what they themselves have not fully understood.
Not understood, but the opinion is unequivocal. To drown. It looks like “grain and tares” from Russian, but it can also be compared with the Greek, where the child is thrown into the river.
They try to apply the rules of languages to the quality of the story.
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It has always struck me that people simply cannot listen to the opinion and take certain points into account. Explain what is drowning, dear Ro_li? Constructive criticism, she is in the case + MY PERSONAL opinion that it is impossible to be a writer and at the same time make such mistakes. I didn’t have ANY DROPS of insults, I kind of wrote everything tactfully and delicately (I speak specifically for myself, and not for those who also paid attention to the spelling above).
And about the story and its quality, I expressed an opinion separately) Read carefully the comments)
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Thanks you).
I can not promise that I will not make any mistakes anymore, but I would like to).
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Not at all) I really love your stories, so it’s a shame when you get such troubles due to some trifles) Although our life is built on trifles) Good luck with writing the following interesting stories)
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Not at all) I really love your stories, so it’s a shame when you get into trouble because of the little things)
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Part of the answer is in the post of Nefertiti. Part in my. Your personal opinion, pronounced "caps" (and their use in the network resists the cry), your only yours. It would be nice if you learned how to pronounce two-people to their grades without caps.
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Kaps = cry?)
Dear, caps lok is a selection of MORE IMPORTANT MOMENTS (to explain specifically to you, I don’t shout now, but highlight the main words in my sentence, this is how to highlight something more important in the outline, etc.) in bold type.
I can send or insult with the help of small letters) But I am always for adequacy and tact) + we are on the site where everyone can express their opinion. And if you don’t like it, then it’s specifically your problems, and don’t try to offend someone’s point of view).
And yes: "Part of the answer is in the post of Nefertiti, part in mine." Another caps lok dragged here) You will learn to read not fragments, but to see the full picture).
In general, I do not understand how you can judge the intonation of a foreign person and a person stranger to you, sitting, maybe even in another city)
Therefore, come up with more compelling arguments to find in my above-listed words about the story itself the evidence of my alleged “rudeness” / “rudeness” / “drowning” or whatever you call it).
I wanted to hear a specific answer to my question, but instead I received just some ridiculous moans and accusations)
Well, if you always “shout” with the help of caps lock, then excuse me)) then there are no questions for you then))))))))
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Your right to count as you like.
Though people with a certain level of intelligence do without caps. Clutter up the dispute with comments, let's not. According to the story, both you and I skipped. If anything - write to me in PM, it is always open.
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And people who were given a decent education, can do without insults ;-)
All the best to you)
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For the first time I hear that the “opinion expressed by the“ caps ”is a comparison with a shout. Ooh ... where did you get such nonsense
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These are the basic rules of internet communication. As well as the use of quotes, correlated with emoticons, in the nickname of the guest. Caps is an elevated tone, cry. And the nickname that the guest communicates with (:-)) traditionally means a smile.
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Sorry, of course, but you are wrong. How can you judge whether a person is shouting or not? You do not see it. While reading the conversation, I personally didn’t have a feeling that they were shouting at you. And you reacted so aggressively and simply nakhamili man. Horror...
I will not enter into a discussion with you, because the previous conversation shows that you do not give a concrete answer. Only some meaningless shouts unpleasant to your interlocutor.
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Answer in PM
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Thanks for the feedback, colleague!)
You also success in the literary field of this site, and not only on it).
Good start...
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10 points!
This Monday is the most pleasant event ...
Chic plot and description)
Thanks for the story!
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Dear Sanchez, the fact that you continue to read me is also a pleasant event for me!)
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Bravo! In one breath, but I saw about “convincing” only in the comments, don't be petty, reader!
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Thank you).
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I hesitate to ask the Dear author and Dear site admins:
and what, to make corrections in a couple of words and add a few commas, is it such an impossible task for the site?
I wanted to participate in the discussion of the remarkable sense of an interesting story, and here, it seems, until March 8, everyone is going to discuss the cases and quotes.
Well, the author made several typos, so on the site in each author, in any story, there are five blunders on each page. Fools usually did not notice anything, and the wise ones politely kept silent about the typos they had noticed.
However, this time the publication fell on a full moon. Therefore, it is difficult to be surprised that even the most balanced of readers rushed to the shelves with Russian textbooks and spelling reference books.
And then the whole insane hospital, with the persistence of a woodpecker, began to analyze both each sentence and individual words.
Obmusolili all, syntax, morphology, punctuation, grammar, semantics. Shorter than 5th grade, third quarter. Nostalgia of commentators on high school slowly but surely took grotesque forms. And, as is usually the case, with the dirty water and merge baby.
What I mean is that if someone wants to discuss the rules of the Russian language, start a separate blog thread, and let you be happy.
As for me, the author's syllable and the text seemed to me quite readable, and the plot is fascinating. Written, in haste, in a creative impulse. So this has its own, special, charm. And an unintentional mistake, psychologically, should be considered as a type of parapraxis. By the way, typos are found even in canonical texts. And in some cases, the attempt to correct the slip is a mistake itself, which is not easy to notice and fix.
When you read the manuscripts of old poets, with blots corrections and drawings.
Sometimes you realize how close he was to a masterpiece of genius, but he got carried away with corrections and proofreading, but in the end gave out another banality to the point of vulgarity.
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Any text is editable. It all depends on the desire of the author. In the personal account near each publication there is a link "Edit". Made corrections, saved, left in the comments the reasons for editing and site administrators (quite quickly, for which they thank you separately) confirm the edit.
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So, I read the story. AND I LIKED IT. I put nine points, removing for this annoying "convince") Of course, this is a typo. And - I am sure of it! - the author simply wrote in courage, without thinking. It happens when a thought comes, and you barely have time to write it down. And then I did not have time (forgot, hurried) to double-check.
There is a plot, very interesting. Violence is not perceived as a nightmare. It is pleasant to read, and I want to read to the end, without missing anything. And in vain they broke so many spears above))) Federer77, congratulations on another GOOD story.
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Colleague, thanks for reading and review!)
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This time I am the smartest: I read it after all and showed the language to all the debaters. Be-be-be. Congratulations to the author, along with good luck together with the headwash!
Now, more to the point: Has they already sent a filming of a thriller to Hollywood? It's about time, let them stand in line for the script.
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O-pa, Critic complained!))
Better after all than nothing).
Thank you for reading, if it really pulled on the script).
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Another great thematic idea, ruined by romanticism. Just passing by :)
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Wisely wrapped! Romanticism, as a trend in art and literature, cannot ruin someone or something. The author’s inability to create in a romantic way can ruin. Here, and would explain to the author in at least a few words, where he (in your opinion) nakosyachil.
How is it in the film on Zoshchenko: “People do not ruin beer, water ruins people!” Romance is not water and even not beer, but rather divine ambrosia.
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Super I liked it !!! Even the sex scenes lowered (a)))) still would be a bit more! ...?
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Thank)
At the expense of selling - let's see.
If you come up with)))
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There is no “Masterpiece!” Button ... And it’s time to do it, I would appreciate it.)
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Thank you, colleague!))
Nicely...)
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Insanely interesting idea and its corresponding embodiment! And what is important is psychology, there is artistic logic. The thing is written in such a way that you empathize.
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Thank)
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Very dramatic! Never before has rape been in my eyes so ... noble. Despite some rough edges, in my incompetent opinion)) I terribly liked the story and the aftertaste that was left of it. Thank you for these emotions!)
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Thank).
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