After examining his work, he satisfactorily shook his head and told his sister to pin a new patch. She grabbed a tampon, put it on the seams and, after smearing it with a circle with klenoin, pinned a patch of gauze. Trying to retire, she was immediately stalled by a doctor.

- Kseniya! - Surgeon surprised, - cut in a circle, ugly?

The sister, taking curved scissors from her robe, began to correct her work. At this time I recited in a mournful voice:

- Cut Ksyusha, cut! Cut carefully! Do not cut Ksenia what is more precious to me!

The girl blushed, like that oshkurenny beets ready for use in soup and evil said:

- Sick do not twitch! And behave yourself! And then ...

- What, and then? Ksyushenka? - I sarcastic.

“It will cut you what is more expensive,” the surgeon grinned.

In the ward, next to each bed there was a button in the wall at the head of the room. If you press it, a signal cracked at your sister's post, and the lid hiding the chamber number bounced off. As usual, they are not used. Only if someone was bad or in the ward lay non-walkers. I decided to pin up on Ksyusha. But it was after.

First, I will tell you how this incompetent creation gave me an enema. I was not aware that any drug of opium series has a strong locking effect on the human body. I only had two injections. One before the operation, the second on the second day. I was somewhat worried and I asked for it myself, because it was impossible to make it difficult — the seams would disperse.

The doctor gave the task to the nurse. She ordered me to lie down in the position of an unborn child and, having attached a rubber umbilical cord, began to pour cold tap water into my intestines. It should be noted that the water was not just cold, but cold - 10–12 degrees. Within seconds, a shiver began to beat me. The doctor, chuizstvuya trouble, heart, decided to follow how the intern makes this execution. Seeing such a blasphemy over the patient, she was speechless. When, so important to me, her gift came back, she squealed:

- What are you doing ...! - (I suspect she wanted to say “evil”, but restrained herself), - stop it now!

But I was already filled with cool liquid, which should be thrown over the careless student of the honey school.

Vyvoloshi in the dressing room dvozhitsnitsy, the doctor, drew his breath that the water should be boiled and room temperature. In addition, it should contain a light laxative. I heard it all very well, and Ksyushin’s justification too.

I was forgotten as usual. Pulling on my pajamas, I started up the toilet. The sense of such an execution was zero. Later, when he got home, by papa’s instigation, he drank a three-liter jar of tomato juice for a short time. And the miracle happened!

But that was later. And now I decided to play Ksyusha using the panic button.

Where procured 25 centimeter line in hir. office, I do not remember. Pulling the blanket up to my chin, I pressed the notorious button. After a few seconds, a tattered creature burst into the chamber.

- What ... where ... - it exclaimed in complete confusion.

Finally, taking herself in hand, Ksyusha asked who it was that bad.

“To me ...” I weakened in a weakened voice.

- What happened?

“At the sight of you, my dear sister, terrible things are happening to me,” having uttered these sacramental words, I sharply gave the ruler a vertical position under the blanket in the area where the stomach ended and the legs began.

If the hero of the fairy tale, Jani Rodari Señor Tomato, was a real character, then Ksyusha at the moment could safely be called his daughter.

- Fool! - she said sharply, - I'll tell you everything that you are doing. There are many sick people who really need help ...

- Well, do not be angry, do not be angry, signora Tomato - vitamins disappear from anger. And by the way, now I feel much better. You are just a healer!

Five minutes later, angry as a shrew, elder sister, burst into the ward.She promised that she would strongly recommend that I be discharged as a malicious disciplinary at the hospital.

- Oh my lady! I will be forever grateful to you. Oh, how you want to go home. I am practically healthy. Do such a favor for me.

Something, snorting incoherently, the elder sister left our monastery.

After a short time, I set out to do a good deed - to smoke a fragrant cigarette. On my long journey there was a castle, in which there lived an evil witch nicknamed Queen Xenia the First. Having come up with her palace, the traveler already wanted to go around it in order to continue his difficult path to the nest of blemish called colloquially. But this was not the case - the queen, throwing a couple of lightning flashes at him, asked if I wanted to kneel before her in order to ask her forgiveness.

“Sick,” my sister stopped me with a look, “do not want to apologize for your vile deed?”

“Actually, I have a name,” said the patient, sitting down beside her table.

- Yuri, do not want to apologize to me? She repeated her burning question.

“I wish it,” I said.

- I'm waiting...

- Dear Ksyunechka, my dear little sister, would you please deign to forgive an unreasonable child who stood in the path of vice. And insulted your chastity, disgusting actions hidden under blanket covers?

- clown! - sniffed Ksyunechka and turned her capriciousness away from me, pretending to look at the scoreboard, trying to guess which house would press the panic button this time.

- My queen! So I am forgiven?

- Not! Get out.

“I’m going, I’m going to ... smoke,” I said, and continued on my difficult path.

I came back, I noticed that she was not scribbling something with a ballpoint pen. Glancing over her shoulder, he noticed that my name and surname were in the insidious report.

In the ward they told me that the elder sister came in and said that the day after tomorrow they would discharge me. The term of inpatient treatment after this type of operation was 7–10 days, but they decided to discharge me in the morning on the 5th, as a malicious intruder and troublemaker.

Fifth day all shortened the days remaining until the greatest triumph called: Last Call. The loser has long come to terms with his fate, that this triumph will pass him by. What was there to do there? You can not eat, you can not drink, you can not dance. And which of the good-looking girls will allow a feeble creature going through a post-operative period to take themselves home? The correct answer is no-kaya.

On the fifth day in the morning, having carefully examined my slightly opened seam, the head doctor said:

- Write out. Let his parents nurse him at home. He was already exhausted by the entire medical staff.

It was not true. If I exhausted anyone, it was the incompetent nurse Xenia. It would be better if she left the nursing home. It was impossible to entrust the sick to her hands. I also bit my older sister a bit. This arrogant person did not reckon with anyone and put all patients on the same footing with inanimate objects. Perhaps I delivered some unpleasant moments to Gale and Luba, but these sweet creatures afterwards, admitted that they were kindly jokes. And they had fun too. However, at my request, they agreed with the verdict: “Peacebreaker”.

Sveta refused to prevaricate. After all, it was in her shift that so many significant events occurred. And I, not her partner, replaced my sister at the post to give her a little sleep. In general, I was discharged. Mom asked for leave from work to pick up a child of great age under her wing. On the way, she scolded me a little for her intolerable character, but on the whole she agreed that I would recover faster at home. I had to undergo periodic dressings and inspection. On koi, by my own laziness and carelessness, I sometimes did not appear.But in front of me a dream dawned on me that I could not pass the exams, such as: with a ponte under an umbrella, due to illness. But I was a shabby double in Russian and lit-re

That's why when I came to the classroom waiting for the good news, I received disappointing. I was left in the fall in these subjects. Having missed a couple of exams, I had to pass all the rest. To my credit, I almost passed everything perfectly and was singled out as the best of the best in physics, chemistry and English.

The certificate I received in early September ...

There was a young rusachka. I was entrusted to her for the passage of the autumn service. This is where nature got rid of her face. It was scary ugly. And my opinion converged with many. Rough features made him look like a monkey. For her eyes, some were called: "Monkey". But the figure, on the contrary, it had a drop, both in front and behind, and to the side also nothing and very much.

I spent two hours with her. She was amazed that, with her literary knowledge and a huge baggage of books she had, she had a solid deuce in Russian.

We often had long conversations about this and that. She admitted that she was not married and did not even hope ... I fell in love with her every day more and more. And then came the day when looking at her face, did not see him disgusting, and even cute. But he did not dare to speak about his feelings. She could put everything so that out of bosom friends, we turned into a strict teacher and student ...

I passed the exam for 4-ku, almost five. For the year put up 3

When I said goodbye to her, I still said that I was more beautiful than my soul and person, as she had never met and that I might not meet again! And if I were a bit older, I would have asked her hand and heart. It seems she was a little tearful, but at that moment it seemed to me just beautiful! I tried to kiss her on the cheek. We were alone in the staff room, but she did not give, she did not allow.

I really hope that I instilled confidence in her, and she will find her happiness ...

Why am I telling all this? And what does the first and last call? But I do not know, and there is almost no sex with eroticism here. He told everything ...