When the first deuce smelled seriously, Koloskov thought that this was no longer possible.

- Lopakhin! - He called, when the "Orcs", tilting the desks, ran to the door. His lesson was the last. - Eugene! Stop the car! ..

Zhenka went to him, looking at the floor.

- Lopakhin ...

He resolutely did not know how and what to talk to her about.

- Lopakhin ... Zhenya ... Sit down, what are you standing? There is no truth in the legs.

Feeling like an idiot, he put a chair for her. Zhenka sat down.

- And this is a long time? She asked in a hollow voice.

- What for a long time?

- Well ... like your conversation. With me.

- Not “type”, but “your conversation”. Just “your conversation”, understand? ... Learn to speak Russian, not Martian ... For a long time? I do not know. Zhen ...

She looked up.

- What is done with you? BUT?

Zhenka was silent. Then she sighed.

- Do not worry. Just think, threes, - she murmured. - I'll fix it. If there is a mood.

- How is this "mood"? So what do you think, study depends on the mood?

- I do not know. You know better.

- So, wait. Let's figure it out. - Koloskov saw that the conversation turned off somewhere not at all there, but did not know how to turn it back. - Do you think that ...

- I do not think anything. Release, and? - quietly gundosila Zhenya.

- What does “let go” mean? I'm not the police, and you're not under interrogation. Understand such a simple thing ...

“I don’t want to understand a fig,” Eugene suddenly said loudly, with anguish. Koloskov flinched.

- Do not want? That was such a friend of your age, I also did not want to understand anything ... Holden Caulfield - do you remember this?

- Nah. Actor, or what?

- So. You and “The Catcher in the Rye” did not read?

- Nafig me these your abysses ...

- And on that figure, - Koloskov wound up, - on that figure, that people without a book are not people, but stupid beasts. Males and females, understand? Is that what you read in your life? Well?

“Kama Sutra,” she suddenly grinned. Koloskov started again. - What are you jerking? Afraid that right now I'll start undressing, gee-gee?

It came out falsely, as if someone else had a grimace stuck on Zhenka. Koloskov suddenly realized how plaintive she looked, but he could not stop:

- Go! He shouted. - Go! At the disco, on a date - go! Walk with the boys, mother, smoke, instead of learning, get dressed like a whore, paint your hair green ... You're such an adult, right where you are, huh? Nafig us boys - we are already fatal women, we are directors ...

He stopped short. Zhenka suddenly turned brown, jumped up and flew out of the classroom, knocking over a chair.

“Kazzzel,” Koloskov drawled to himself. He sat for about ten minutes, as if he was waiting for her to return, then he got up and went home.

It was drizzling rain.

- You're a teacher. Experienced. Ten years of experience ... - he told himself, splashing through puddles.

***

In the morning she was not in class.

- People, where is our Lopakhin? - asked the orcs Koloskov.

- And you do not know what you, Alexey Palych? - the orcs began to stir. Koloskov suddenly turned cold. - She cut her veins in the night ...

The class suddenly became transparent and swam like a haze.

- ... cherry! Alexey Palych! ..

Koloskov raised his head.

In ears rustled, in a mouth shit horses.

- She ... what about her? He asked, barely moving his tongue.

- Yes, we shout to you, but you do not hear! In the hospital, she barely pumped! Thank you, my mother came out to see, sees, and in the bathroom the light, think for it? Normally so ... Che fl at it, always such a positive child was ...

Koloskov got up and walked to the exit on cotton feet.

- Yes. There will be no lesson, - he turned around on the threshold. - I feel bad. Everyone saw.

- Viiiideli, Alexey Palych! - the orcs began to stir. - Don't worry, it's all garlic ...

Without dressing, as he was in a jacket, Koloskov jumped out of the school and ran to the subway. On the run, he got a mobile phone:

- Ale? ... Anna Mikhaylovna, hello ... hello, Alexey Palych Koloskov is worried about you. Koloskov, I say, Zhenin is a history teacher ...I would like to visit her, please tell me where ...

- Zhenya severely punished anyone not to let her. You excuse her, but she is now calm ... I can not ... sorry ...

Five minutes, he stood among the sidewalk, interfering with passers-by. Then he went back.

Gradually, his step accelerated, and Koloskov flew into the school like a late pupil who was late. Flashing past the attendant, he suddenly realized that his legs were carrying him to the director's office.

Realizing this, he did not object, but let them otfutbol ajar door, walk up to Zherebtsovich, who was sitting at the table, let his fist swing and swing into a big face hanging over the collar.

Chins were squeezed, the face became diagonal and fell from the chair along with the owner.

- This is for private consultation with Lopakhina. The fee, - minted Koloskov, blocking the shrill mate from the floor. - When you roll a complaint at me - think about how much I will imprison you. “The case of Huev Ebun Mudovich, director of the first school of blow job in Moscow ...”

The most interesting thing is that he did not worry at all. Moreover, he was bored to the point of nausea, and therefore he spoke flatly, as if he were reading a report at the teachers' council:

- ... Statement of care right now will be. Here is the paper, here is the pen. I sit down. Writing...

“You're a jerk,” the director breathed, crawling back into the chair. - Pi-da-gog. Do you even know what she went to me, Makarenko?

- I know. I saw your sausage in her mouth, Pestalozzi. Here through this window ...

- Damn. I bet you understand right now, which of us is in the ass? - the director smiled crookedly. Koloskov wanted to say something, but he took it in a tone higher: “Immediately after you were juggling Jim Carrey, she came in and started shipping, so that I would not fire you. Such a touching sweetheart was. Well, I'm a man of principle, you know me. But I can agree, in which case ... She is in love with you in the black way, are you still not aware of it, are you our shrewd one? This is the fact that you quit right now, and she cannot see you, beloved, every day to see, you did such a mess to her, that she will cut her veins for the second time. Understand that everything is in vain - and its fuckiness, and ... Eeee, what are you, what are you-ee?! ... - he was yelling at Koloskov, who was marching at him like the Commander on Don Juan. - I, by the way, never fucked her in an adult way ... Only in her mouth ... By the way, she got into the taste, jumped on me, and I was sobering her ... The teacher is all the same. ..

Koloskov stood looking at the pink teacher who had squeezed into a chair, then he inhaled, exhaled, inhaled again - and left the office.

***

... He was stopped only by the fact that two with cut veins - this is kitsch. After death, the hero of kitsch wanted to be even less than to live, and Koloskov somehow, with a sin in half, lived up to the evening, and then to the morning. Ahead, the devil knew how many such evenings and mornings, which had to be done away with the biggest fool Koloskov knew in his life — with himself.

But in a few days he got used to it, and by the fifth morning he even took up his job search.

Honestly drooping their half an hour on the job portals, Koloskov was distracted and wandered to hell knows which left site. "Psychology at home" - he read, absently clicking on the link. "Stress ... depression ... The human mind is mythological, and in an extreme situation often appeal to not the mind, but to ancient archetypes, rituals and rituals. For example, the rite exorcism of evil spirits, spent at home, will help to cope with stress ... Our psychologists, who professionally possess the skills of a shaman, will help you ... "Hmm. Just what I miss," Koloskov thought, - a professional psychologist. Shaman at home. Fie, you scam! ..

He slammed the laptop, got up and went out into the street.

The legs themselves carried him to school. Approaching the fence, he began to look at the "orcs" screaming on the sports ground.

- ... Alexey Palych! Alexey Palych!

Zoya Palkina, Eugene's girlfriend, ran up to him.

- Alexey Palych! And the truth is that ... they say you are the director in the face ... Read more →