The day was good: warm, but not hot, the yellow sun chilly shone through the clouds, like a golden dozen - a symbol of the ousted tsarist regime. A light, gentle, filled with the spirit of raznotravya blew, the steppe breeze, aroused by the shots and the roar of the engine of our aircraft, the crows rose from the near forest belt and with alarming cries, desperately flapping their wings, circled in the sky. Careful bird, not without reason, according to rumors, has lived for three hundred years! And all because they keep away from people, especially if they have a gun in their hands or even a stick ... We also keep away from people, P-5 is completely plywood! And the task must be completed - the war!

What kind of idiots on this front, because they warned that he would sit on the airfield R-5, so no, only we sat on the airfield and taxied on the parking lot, as some two idiots began to shoot at us. Yes on the engine - their screw scared! Ditch the plane! We jumped out, and here these two jerks: "Hyundai hoh!" We learned one phrase! Well, nothing, he twisted one rifle and gave him the balls from the heart, and while the second one was twisting the bolt, he would get a knockout with a butt on his right! He gave them another kick for prophylaxis, and on the aerodrome on duty he caused a stir, but he flooded with a drill and after a couple of seconds also lay unconscious.

Abnormal some! With the Germans, they would have fought like this, we would already be near Berlin. And so all three of them lie almost in anabiosis, but in order not to be shot in the back, assholes, I also struck each one with a “penalty”. I hope that when they wake up, now they will get a little wiser! We saw that our plane had landed, and the red stars were big on the sides! Similarly, Papanov in one film quite clearly stated: “If a person is an idiot, then this is a long time!”

I went to the headquarters of the 4th army and was stunned. No one checks the documents, everyone runs around like cockroaches, scalded with boiling water. Stunned - Colonel Sandalov commands 4 army and generals in his submission! Well, things! I gave him the package, and then a modest request from him was to hand over another package to the 201st Division. But on what I will fly there - on the goat sideways? Two idiots at the airport shot the engine of our aircraft. Well, don't scream, some major came running, and here's the bike. So he would have gone! He can not, he is responsible for the political situation in the army! Yes, he is a complete coward! Anyway! I sat down and rushed, but not for long - after an hour the petrol ran out. Here's an idiot full - I did not even check the tank from a psycho.

And then two Germans with Schmeisser jumped out of the forest belt - what is it, as they agreed, everyone wants to arrest me. But I immediately realized that the token on the chain was their teeth - see, “Brandendurg-800”! It's good that I accidentally left this token! Now for sure the token will always be with me, like a happy locket. They calmed down and they showed me - they caught a Russian spy, she stood behind a tree and looked through binoculars. Sits on the ground, her skirt has ridden up - beautiful legs, nothing can be said. And where are you now - take me to the Abwehr, or will you hand over to the field guard army? They immediately both neighing - you are completely humanists in the Abwehr, and we will not question her. First, one by one, and then ... I joked relishly - I was the third in line, and while they were coming out laughing, I took a gun with a silencer from my tablet. How wonderful they died - laughing from my joke! So, at this corporal “Vis-Radom”, and at the second, lieutenant - “Walter” pocket socks, which I immediately gave to our girlfriend.Well, these machines, we also tidy up! In general, the correct name is the MP-38 "Erma" submachine guns. But the automatic machine of Schmeisser himself was not accepted for armament, but in 1943 he would issue a masterpiece at all - the Shturmgever machine gun. The prototype of "Kalashnikov"! Talent!

And here is Schlimwagen in the bushes, a good machine, a small one. but clever and passable. I picked up the girl from the ground, and she hugged me tightly and cried softly - the Germans in broken Russian promised to rape her and kill her like a Russian spy. The underpants were already stripped off, even beat a little, and then I appeared on a motorcycle. A cap of brandy, or else she is a coward, her teeth are clanking, well, go ahead, to your own! A minute later, Lilya and I, as it turned out, were the translators of the 201st Division, rushed forward, and she was all cowardly. The division defeated them, but they fulfilled the order of General of the Army Zhukov - “Do not open the fire!” But the Germans opened fire! Half an hour later I made a stop - crushed a little. Lily, too, jumped out and crouched behind a bush, very close, I was not embarrassed - now more than the Germans are afraid, for sure. And then I hear a plaintive female voice, I am Lilya in the car, and I myself understand everything through the woods! Here in a little forest-type field hospital, the girl doctor bandages our wounded, well, three Germans jumped on a motorcycle - intelligence. So they crawl out in front of the doctor, saying that now they will kill everyone, but she will die later. And she kneels in front of Fritz, they say, do not shoot, it's the wounded. Well, yes, they obeyed her - they slam fast shots from "Walter" - they finished everyone off. But the German turned out to be right - the military doctor will die much later! Much much later, but you - right now! His head scattered like a glechik with borscht, which was moved with a crowbar - a sharp nine-millimeter bullet from three meters, what could be wanted, but those two other Wehrmacht "eagles" could not shoot at me - empty holders. That died quickly!

Well, the company with me - both the coward is not childish! Well still - to endure it! Well, while there is no time to calm them down - you need to put pressure on the accelerator with might and main. And after an hour, suddenly, some forest road went to the right and I moved there. The Germans were heavily dependent on ordinary roads, but they were afraid of the forest, well, I was right there for me. It was already getting dark, and then the piano in the bushes - such a neat little house. I understood, the hunter's house, I heard about such - our obkomovskie eagles went there to “hunt”. Therefore, apparently, it is called like this - “hunting lodge”. I don’t know if someone was shot, but the sea was drunk with vodka, and there were a lot of girls there, apparently in the role of game. Chasing drunk girls no less drunk party workers, instead of guns using their sluggish obkomovskie members and acting on the principle of "Who caught whom and grabbed, that one on the spot and vye ..." Well, we sleep, but then I just have eyes now they are closing, soon almost a day on their feet, and Sandalov is not even fed, the bastards are greedy. Some were abnormal, they were shooting at their planes, they did not give them anything to eat, but they gave them a motorcycle with a half-empty tank. With such leadership, this army will not last long!

And when the girls got out of the car and asked me what would happen next, I read them poems:

Tell me, why did we come to this world?

We thought the celebration would be a feast.

Nothing in this world will be free.

And even in the trap, you need to buy cheese.

Not understood? I myself do not know. Now we are flying in a hurry to the 31st Army. Both of you will find work there; you will serve there. And your 201st division, dear ladies, is completely crushed, such are the things! I opened the trunk - thank you, gentlemen! Food sea! And now, the most important thing now for these girls is a bottle of Armenian! Somewhere, our store was robbed. Literally under the gun I made them drink a glass of a noble drink - let go of both. We ate heartily, then I both again and again under the gun, and then they began to rest. What bother with me, with the Germans would not poo! That's when they were already completely prepared for rape - they sent naked girls to a summer shower. There is not a soul, but already dark - go naked and bathe.At the same time at once in the shower also wash your pants - so you do not have panties? It is clear, nemchura stole. Then I took water procedures - water is just boiling water. And the military doctor, so that she simply did not stand under the stream of water in shock, soaped, bathed and wiped. Here it came to her - hugged me and began to cry. Yes, the situation - we are completely naked in this darkness, there is a war all around, and she cries and kisses me. He says that this day is for her, as the second birthday - she has already forgiven ...