“When you worry, you tremble at your knees,” she said.

- Really? - I just now noticed that my kneecaps under my pants were shaking slightly. “I have such a bad habit,” I lied.

We began to spread the bed, a double bed with one blanket and one, by the way, a pillow.

- You then go to the wall, and I go to brush my teeth. I do not have a spare brush, so sorry.

“I am a finger,” Vasya squeaked again.

And she jumped after me to the bathroom. We took turns to squeeze the paste — I was on the brush, it was on the finger — and began to knead the foam in my mouth, peering at each other in the mirror, scoffing, exchanging dumb smiles. The unusual situation did not bother me with the complexity of the decisions.

“Just think, I’ll sleep with her,” I thought, apathetically folding my eyelids into tubes. - Yes, I have more than a week to hear how she groans, having sex. Well, yelling, of course, getting on the ass. "

I yawned, my eyes stuck together. The memory of Nikiforov’s insane request not to return without sperm again came to mind.

"Like this? - I thought. - How is she going to provide her husband with evidence of treason? And why, in fact, the sperm of another man, brought in the teeth of the faithful, should testify to the change? Or not in the teeth? "

We returned to the room, and I immediately turned off the light so as not to embarrass Vasya. I hoped that she would not take off her clothes, because it would be beyond my strength, sleep with naked Vasilisa Nikolaevna and not think about her, not pestering her, in general, do not feel for her absolutely no dangerous feelings.

But I was mistaken, just a minute after I ducked under the covers in one of the trusses, Vasilisa Nikolaevna pressed herself against me with all her naked girlish body.

- So cold! - she beat the tap with her teeth. - Can I get a little warm about you.

“Yes, please,” I was lying on my back, afraid to turn my back on her. Her slim naked body wrapped around me on the side, legs spread apart, and Vasin’s hairy pubis rubbed my thigh with a bristle.

“You did decide to undress,” I stated, sighing deeply.

- I do not like to sleep in clothes.

- Do you play with me? - I asked through a dream.

- Little.

- What for?

- I like you.

“You too, me,” I was almost asleep.

- Give me your sperm, and then Andrey will kill me tomorrow, - Vasya scratched my chest with her finger. Her thick hair with warm foliage scattered on the pillow, tickling her nose and lips. Her no less dense pubic muscosa stuck to her thigh.

“I don’t give sperm to everybody,” I replied sluggishly.

- And me, will you give me? - enthusiastically whispered Vasya in the ear.

I took a deep breath.

- No, - I grunted, turning my back to Vasya. - Sleep.

Vasya’s behavior raised doubts about the patient’s sanity.

“She’s as crazy as Nikiforov,” I concluded.

“Two pair of boots”, - says mom.

“Husband and wife are one Satan,” the father will give.

And only my older brother, burnt with invaluable life experience, will blather:

"A woman with a cart is easier for a mare."

However, there was one more important aspect of the tragedy played out behind the wall. All this, if viewed from the very beginning, resembled a crappy staging with a drunken screenwriter and mediocre actors. Vasya's sweet cheers behind the wall could well cause sincere emotions in the soul of an uninitiated, inexperienced theatrical art, but my invaluable stage experience kept telling me that behind a cheap game of the Nikiforovs is an insane plan aimed at extracting benefits.

“That's what,” I puzzled. Do they have nothing else to do? ”

I was horrified by the mere thought that my neighbors are trying to dissolve me like a sucker. After all, if this is so, then all their attempts come from a single insidious plan, the solution of which I did not find.

The next morning, Vasya again started an old song, but in a new way:

- Now Andryusha knows for sure that I spent the night at your place.

“But I know for sure that there was nothing between us,” I replied gloomily.

“Yes, nothing,” Vasya was puzzled.

We had breakfast in the kitchen, she sat in front of me in the same position, leg by leg, in my shirt, pants and socks. Bomzhik girl, I blinded you from what was.

“Listen, maybe you,” she faltered, looking embarrassedly into my eyes.

- What? - I glanced at her, rubbing the tea.

- Well, give me your sperm, and then I can present evidence of treason, and Andryusha will leave me alone.

- And so, will not leave? - I smirked, this whole pen with sperm caused laughter, and only that.

“Here are maniacs, eh! Why the hell did my sperm give up to them? ”I frowned in disgust.

Vasya licked her lips.

- Well, y'know, Andryusha thinks that I can't get pregnant because he has a problem, not me.

- And therefore, you need my sperm so that you can get pregnant! - it dawned on me.

I probably beamed with happiness, like the Tower of Pisa: giving a roll to the side and down.

“Hallelujah,” I thanked the Most High. Found the solution to the most complicated rebuses.

- Not really, - Vasya cut my glee. - If I prove to him that I can not get pregnant from another man, it means that I am really fruitless and he can calm down.

- Fuck! And you did not try to be checked?

- I checked, but Andrew still does not believe me. And he is afraid to go to the doctors.

“Some kind of garbage,” I breathed, wincing. - I do not believe a single word of yours. Maybe stop lying? - my irritation slowly boiled with an explosive mixture of contempt and longing.

- I'm not lying to you, Dima. Please forgive us for embroiling this matter.

- Yes, you are sick on the whole head! - I exploded. - You need my sperm to prove to your husband that you are barren, and not him. Well this need to come up with this! And he does not believe you! Want to cum, huh? - I jumped from the stool. - Here's your cum, - pulled the condom out of the backpack, ripped the packaging and roll out the gum.

In the fridge lay quail eggs, the contents of which just looked like a male seed. After a minute of uncomplicated manipulations, a knotted condom with egg white was tied into the hands of an obstinate barren woman. She slapped her eyelashes frightened all this time, her open mouth groping for new ways to the heart or rather the fly of an intractable neighbor.

- Everything, Vasilisa the Wise! I can't help your family anymore! Oh, excuse me, dear, but it's time and the honor to know! - with these words I picked up my backpack, pulled on my jacket and ran out the door.

I went to work with the firm intention to deal with my crazy neighbors once and for all.

"Do not retreat and do not give up!" - I repeated the mantra, leaving the entrance.

In addition, an email hostess constantly loomed in my head.

“You can always complain about the major,” I cherished a secret hope in my heart. Although this last maneuver seemed to me a last resort, very hopeless and vile.

“They will ask from the apartment — I will leave!” I was in a crowded subway car, washing the situation at a new gate.

Vasya was not in the apartment in the evening. Behind the wall it was suspiciously quiet, and I even doubted that the Nikiforovs were at home.

“The lull before the storm,” I suggested.

And indeed, about nine the bell rang, but not at the door, but on the telephone. Nikiforov called, marked as “(I)” - a monster. I was already prepared to listen to the original homework, which includes apologies and threats to coerce to sex with my wife, as Vasya suddenly heard in the phone a small voice:

- Dima, I'm sorry I'm calling you, I just don't know who else to turn for help, - she was scared, her voice was trembling.

I seriously prepared to listen to the new juicy details of Nikiforov's boring life .... Read more →