- I think he will calm down and still regret that he expelled you.

- If!

I squinted at Vasya incredulous look:

- Why?

Vasya doomed sighed, meeting with my eyes, putting them bashfully at the refrigerator.

- Did you seriously have a fight this time? - I did not want to climb into her soul, but the circumstances of exile remained a mystery. Still, Vasya came under my protection, which means that a clear understanding was needed of what was ahead of us. The night was approaching with immodest steps. Not far off and sleep in a warm bed. One for the whole apartment, if we talk seriously.

- Seriously? - asked Vasya. - I do not know. Andrew wants me to sleep with you.

I almost choked on the tea prelude.

He cleared his throat and took an indifferent tone.

- What do you want?

I thought this question would cause Vasya thoughtfulness, assuming, at last, the role of being humiliated and insulted. Perhaps she would be hurt, I thought. Instead, she continued to troll me, shaking her leg:

- I think it is better to agree with him.

- That is, you do not have your own opinion on this matter? - I reconciled with the fact that the conversation will be businesslike intimate and idle.

- Why, there is, - Vasya with a nail kolupala tablecloth.

I paused, but, without waiting for an answer, I continued the onslaught:

- And-and-and?

“You don't know Andrei,” she suddenly raised her brown eyes on me, filled with reverent trembling, as if she was talking about a demon, and not about an impudent cop. - He can be very cruel if he wants.

“I already understood that,” frowning, I chewed on the leftover sausage sandwich.

The strange development of a conversation with an outwardly squatting woman, either internally intimidated to the devilish, or vilely stupid to disgrace, having lost all dignity, sank to begging under duress, was broken out in my holey head with fragments of sentences.

“Dima, you may not believe me,” Vasya said, “but if you and I do not become lovers, it will only get worse.”

- Well, we'll see! - I frowned angrily.

Pride finally prevailed in me over other feelings. I was preparing to fight back.

Mad cop puts a wife under me, and she threatens me.

- Yes, what he has the right to threaten me? - I jumped from the stool, rushed to the sink to wash mugs after tea. - Who is he to kick you out of the apartment?

- This is his apartment.

- So what? You are husband and wife. You have the same right to live in this apartment, like him.

- Am I disturbing you? - she looked at me sadly.

“No, I didn’t mean it,” I muttered, abruptly changing the record. “You can, of course, stay here as you like.”

- Did you tell me "you"? - Vasya beamed. “I’ve been waiting for this to happen!” - she stared at me like a god of chastity, as if all the previous conversation had disappeared into the tube of oblivion.

- Well, if it is so important, - I smiled perplexedly, crumpling the kitchen towel in my hands.

- Of course, it is important! - Vasya in one fell swoop threw off the mask of the victim, replacing it with a unpretentious masked former girlfriend, unobtrusively playing with forgotten feelings.

“Okay,” I grinned. - Where are you going to sleep?

My anxious glance of the best friend of childhood remained disinterested, just as businesslike, indifferent.

- Yes, yes, of course, - Vasya jumped. - Thanks for the tea. I'll go try knocking. He has calmed down, probably.

She jumped into the corridor and jumped into the hallway, slipping off her slippers as she went.

- Yes, let's try to get you back to my husband - I followed her proud tiger.

Together we opened the door to the waiting room, Vasya pulled the handle of her door, it was locked.

I froze in the doorway, laying out the situation on my fingers.

If Vasya isn’t allowed to go home now, I thought, I’ll have to pack it at my place, and stomp myself to my ancestors.

"Got back, not dusty," - Mom will be delighted.

"It is time and the honor to know," father added.

And only my brother, my heart, will cringe neither to the village, nor to the city:

"Do not take prison from soums and prisons."

- And you knock your fist, let me - I rushed to bang on the door.

My annoying crash woke the beast. Drunk moose roared, scattering things on the way, bursting through the weeds to the feeder with an eye.

- And this is you, fuck childless! - Nikiforov wheezed ominously, rubbing in from the other side. - Sperm got it?

I wiped a stunned sideways look at Vasya.

“He wants me to bring him evidence of betrayal,” she whispered, staring at me with an insane, wrinkled look, insane at the bottom.

“Andrei Mikhailovich,” I said as harshly as possible, like a bailiff who came to describe the property. “I will not sleep with your wife,” I lowered my voice here so that the neighbors from below or above would not die of colic, accidentally overhearing our triangular dialogue.

“Fuck me,” said the major. - Let him go into the street and look for there, unshaven cunt.

And here Vasya suddenly burst into a nightingale:

- Andrew, please forgive me, - she chirped. - I'll never change you again.

I never expected such a turn of events from her.

- What are you doing! - I whispered as much as possible.

“Let him calm down better,” Vasya whispered back.

- Go fuck you! - yelled major. - Fuck! Go all fuck, fag faggers. And you, scum, do not come back without sperm.

He banged a fist on the door from the back so that the sand from the frame fell down.

We recoiled, Vasya shrank in horror.

“I’ll shoot you one by one, yabudy condoms,” Nikiforov hissed into the keyhole. His voice, so distinct and sinister, made me bricks like this morning.

“It’s better not to mess with a moron,” I decided to myself.

- Let's go, - I whispered to Vasya.

We returned to my room.

- Is he drunk? - I asked, calming down a bit.

- Yes, there is a little bit, - Vasya was perplexedly wringing her hands, rolling from corner to corner. - Usually he does not shout at others. And then he attacked you, like an abnormal one, - she stopped and stared at me inquiringly.

- Sooner or later it should have happened. Not with me like that, ”I replied sluggishly.

- Andrew says he feels very subtle treason.

“What does that mean?”

- Well, that he immediately sees who likes me and who does not.

- And what's wrong with that? Anyone will like you, - I grimaced in a thievish smile.

“I don't know,” Vasya spread her hands. - He feels something! - superstitious thrill made her eyes open wider. She looked at me with undisguised curiosity, fool godless.

I grinned, looking away.

“Okay,” I urged common sense to answer. - In short, stretch while here, and I'll go to sleep with my parents.

“If you want, we can sleep together,” Vasya blinked innocently. “I will not bother you,” she suddenly laughed, defiantly and kindly, as if it was a bomzhatnik for a drunkard, and not about my warm bed.

I was actively grinding a strange sentence. “She will not pester,” I cycled in words. - And I? I will? Or not? Or I do not care? Or not? Or should it? Or laid, but not laid? "

“Well, well,” I said uncertainly. - Then let's sleep together.

I, apparently, too stupidly frowned, rolling in my head the possible options for the night. The floor was unreal cold. Getting to your parents at half past twelve is unaesthetic.

Poor ancestors would have crushed the whole Dahl dictionary in search of suitable epithets for the night Exodus to the Promised Land, but still would not have found the right words.

Vasya podhikhivali in a fist, squeezing the cuff overly large for her shirt.

“You fear me,” she squeaked.

- Well no,... Read more →