Welcome to the delusional life of the sexually concerned. Morning here usually began with a blowjob, hard, throat, which I always hated, because nobody vomited the gag reflex, and sometimes it was very difficult to restrain him. Hated and flowed, because I was excited by its smell, taste, and just the presence nearby. And in the body there is an eternal desire to get relaxation, the eternal desire for orgasm. Only Evdokimov was cruel, even implacable. Now, when leaving, he not only chained me with his foot to the battery, but also tied his hands behind his back, so that I could not use my fingers to relieve the constant arousal in my body. Brad, consisting of constant unsatisfied desire. Cruel torture, invented to make me talk or drive me crazy.

All attempts to establish some kind of dialogue with the kidnapper were simply ignored. Evdokimov didn’t talk to me at all, only on the most base, everyday issues. I offered him to cook something, because what Evdokimov cooked on the stove was eating with great difficulty. No, I did not allow it ... in silence I brought sausages with overcooked under-salted pasta. However, in my head and body I sat down a completely different hunger, so it was absolutely all the same what Andrey pitches me to.

At lunch, if Evdokimov did not leave anywhere, he also took me. Hard, fast, right on the mattress or standing in the back of my body near the wall. The sensations, especially in the second position, were so acute, all-penetrating, that the current instantly ran through the body, penetrating into every nerve, instantly reached the subconscious, which was beating and shouting: “I want to finish! Please! ”But, as soon as the finale approached and the pre-orgasmic wave spread through the body, Andrei came out of the craving to discharge the slits, and then finished, jerking his penis with his hands, or putting me on his knees, discharged thick streams of semen into my mouth.

In the evening, too, was sex, usually under the streams of water in the shower. My tormentor combined business with pleasure. So much sex, so much pleasure without real satisfaction. I bit my lips, trying not to beg, not to beg him for an orgasm. Must remain in me even a drop of pride. It should ... But of course, brought to the verge of semi-conspiracy from the desire for detente, I still begged, begged, even cried. Only to soften my Andrew was impossible. Permanent state of perpetual excitement, which was aggravated by doing nothing and the lack of benefits of civilization in the form of a TV, computer and books. The day was made up of constant excitement and expectation, when did Evdokimov pay attention to his Angel. Some kind of nonsense, constant torture, depriving the last remnants of pride and will.

- Andrei, tell me what the weather is like there?

Silence, the answer I have always been silence. Andrey has been lying on the sofa for several hours, looking at something in a thin little white laptop, my laptop. And this fact also made you nervous. I always tried to be very careful, did not leave passwords and did not tell anything about myself on the network. What if Andrei is reading the books of Anna Stepanova? I hope he does not guess that I wrote them, because they are something completely intimate, exposed, however, in open access for thousands of people, but these are faceless readers, more precisely, readers, and when your personal maniac holding you planted on chain, here it is impossible to remain calm.

- Andrei, were you afraid of the dark in your childhood?

A quick look of black eyes in my direction. For a second ... Why so little ?! Look at me again. You are welcome.

- I was afraid. You know, mom always included a crescent-shaped night light for me. It seemed to me that Kikimora would crawl out of the darkness right into my bed.For some reason it was Kikimory I was most afraid of, although I very vaguely imagined how she looked. Probably, I was unpleasantly fascinated by the combination of sounds. How do you think?!

Silence, even with a look not honored. If I knew then in my childhood that Kikimory is not the worst, but quite ordinary, even handsome men will bring real darkness to my life. Darkness, dirt ... How miraculously do you still live, Angel ?! Why still not crazy!

- And then, when I grew up a little, it seemed the most terrible if no one married me. This grandfather Mitya is guilty, he, I remember, constantly repeated: “If you are so harmful, you will not be married”. And every evening I asked my mother or grandmother, but the truth is, I will have a fiancé, I’m not harmful at all, only a little crybaby, but girls can do it. They, of course, reassured: "It will be, with the most beautiful, kind and noble."

- Shut up, Angel, you distract me.

- II can't, Andrei. Talk to me please!

No, the words I did not wait. Evdokimov only tiredly closed his eyes, ceasing to stare at the monitor of my computer.

- Andrey, what is your favorite dish?

Again silence, complete disregard for my stupid chatter.

- You know, in my childhood I really loved cherry compote, more precisely, cherries from it. My grandmother specially rolled for me a half-liter jar, about thirty pieces each. And in the country we had a whole cherry grove. Imagine how beautiful it was at the time of flowering!

- Angel, shut up! - in the voice of a warning.

I do not want, I can not shut up, to hell sick of this silence!

- And Mishka, well, the guy with whom I first really fell in love, you know, I was rather squeezed then. It is not surprising, given that Danka's grandmother and I were brought up, and she was very strict and a little old-fashioned. In the yard, many people called me “professorial granddaughter”. He first waited patiently for me to mature for physical love, then he was bored with my constant failures. The bear began to insist, and, perhaps, excessively, and when I agreed to try, I did not manage to relax. We were engaged in petting, but I felt nothing but embarrassment, it was dry for the first and second time. He called me frigid, freaked out, slept with my classmate. And then he died ...

- Shut up Angel, I don't want to know anything about you! I do not care.

It's a shame, it hurts ... What did you imagine, Lina? I thought if you told him about yourself, he would take pity, talk to you, and then give a little tenderness. There is so little tenderness in my life ... No, I didn’t think anything like that, I just don’t have the strength to endure this soundless void. I'm losing my mind, but inside is ripening hysteria.

- Andrei, have you been to Lake Ritsa ?! You know, this is the most beautiful place I've ever seen in my life. I would like to go there once more and swim in a boat, admiring the snowy slopes of the mountains.

- I told you, shut up! You do not understand the words?

- I do not understand, Andrew, I do not understand! - I screamed. - It is difficult for me to endure silence, it is difficult to do nothing. I can't take it anymore !!

- Lina, shut up!

Evdokimov finally looked in my direction. Strangely, there was no anger on his face, it seemed absolutely calm. How can he be calm when there is such a rage inside me, a hurricane, a whole squall of pain! Like a spring, jumped from the mattress, the blanket with which I covered myself, slid to the floor, exposing my body. That's great, grabbed a blanket and launched them in Evdokimova. I wanted to get into his indifferent face, no, I didn’t reach my head. And the rabies sitting inside demanded madness. In anger, raised the mattress. Heavy ... you can't throw it like a blanket.

“I can’t take it anymore, buy yourself a rubber doll, a fucking maniac, but fuck her!” She won't get you talking.

I shoved the mattress away from myself. What else to throw in this face radiating calm. There was nothing nearby.

- I'm not a dog to put me on a chain!

Now, on Andrey's face, astonished curiosity, he looked at me like a new species of some incomprehensible creature, wondering what else could be expected ...