there is a feeling "Information is closed." The window was closed, and it is completely incomprehensible when it will open again, and whether it will open at all.

- amazing. And yesterday, when we were with Inga, did this window open?

- That's the thing that opened up. I admired you, I wanted to have you as a man. Here this “someone” took and broke off the whole flight of my wants.

- And what did you discover about me?

- I was taken aback that the one to whom you give your virginity will later become your husband and father of your children. And as you, dear young lady, you understand, I am not at all going to divorce Alena in order to marry you.

- Well, only these problems because of me you and Alena lacked ...

- And further. Perhaps in the distant future, you have a special role in the mission of salvation. The fulfillment or non-fulfillment of this mission can critically depend on the lives of so many people. A very large number of people. Maybe even millions of people.

- But what is it! Am I supposed to save humanity in the future? I'm already scared of this sacred knowledge of yours.

- This is not 100% predetermined, but it is not completely excluded. Here the answer was: "Maybe."

- Well, why me? I am a completely ordinary girl who wants to live an everyday life. I am absolutely not a superwoman. There is nothing supermenus in me.

- The fact of the matter is that you are an unusual girl, possessing a fair depth of character and sincerity of passionate impulses to sacrificial compassion. Without confronting the challenges of fate, your life will seem incomplete and bland. You are extremely stubborn and purposeful when you see purpose and meaning. And without an inspirational goal and an awareness of the meaning, you become lazy. But this is the case when laziness becomes the accumulator of vital energy and the engine of progress.

- About the fact that laziness-mother was born before me - you can be sure of that.

- You are an Amazon warrior in spirit, but you are also the keeper of the family hearth.
Today you are going to compare the cozy Pavlovsk and the knightly Gatchina. In fact, this is your eternal “hunt for changing places” between two worlds - pacification and passionarity, pragmatism and irrationality, tits in their hands and a crane in the sky, humble observance of traditions and a breakthrough beyond the generally accepted majority. And you will not be able to choose one of these two worlds completely. Too late in your inner Pavlovsk, you will rush out of it into your Gatchina, so that after knightly accomplishments you will return to maintaining the hearth. This duality, by the way, manifests itself in your bisexuality. And also in your inner tendency to periodically changing the roles of the “master-slave” in your pair with someone.

- Denis, you just drive me into a corner with a depth of your knowledge of me. We know just a little bit.

- I do not hunt for you. More precisely, I stopped the hunt yesterday. And I explained now why it stopped. Consider that I abandoned you as a desirable prey. You are for me only a pleasant guest.

“Are you not afraid that now the hunting instinct will awaken in me?”

- And for me to hunt is useless. Because I am a complement to the whole with my wife. However, I’m probably delaying you with a conversation. If I may, I bow to you. I have talks in the office in an hour.

I decided to go to Pavlovsk by train from Vitebsk railway station.On the way to the subway, I tried to distract from the beauty of the city, but the conversation with Denis did not go away from my head. My feminine pride was even somewhat hurt by the fact that he refused to erotic hunt for me. I had to admit to myself that I still managed to sink into the charm of Denis as a man, with all our difference in age. And what should I do with it now? How to behave in this hospitable family? Passing through the Griboyedov Canal along the Stone Bridge, I suddenly felt the ringing silence of my feelings being aggravated. I was even scared at first, and then I made up my mind and said to the space: “Can I ask?”. The answer was a “yes” feeling.

- My future husband - is he already familiar with me?

- Yes.

- This is Denis?

- Not.

- Should I say goodbye today and end my relationship with Denis and Alena?

- Not.

- Are I allowed erotic relationships with Alena and Inga?

- Yes.

- I am allowed erotic relations with Denis?

- May be.

- At the end of this trip I will have more meetings with Denis and Alena?

- Yes.

I wanted to ask a lot more. But the feeling of ringing silence was gone and this brought me back to the ordinary world. For some reason, verse lines came to mind: “The October sun, Already a deserted beach. And thoughts, thoughts, thoughts with each other are in a rage.
The secrets of the universe In the answers to being. And you are my creation, I invented you. ”

Pavlovsky Park met me with squirrels, running out to beg on the road to visitors. It was so homely and so cute. I slowly walked along the alleys of the park to the Grand Palace, imagining that I would meet on my way many of the maid of honor, greeting me with a light squat in a knixie, and kindly bow with them. So in mental social conversations with their imaginary subjects and spent almost all the time allotted to Pavlovsk. I didn’t even bother to examine the whole of the Grand Palace, confining myself only to the rooms and to Maria Fedorovna’s own garden. I simply bathed in the pacification of this family world, which defended itself from all adversity from the outside by the charm of the palace and landscape park. And the family world is not yet the emperor, but so far only the romantic heir to the throne. Ahead of him, Pavel waited for the rupture of relations with his mother, the coronation, the absurdities of government, the falsehood and hatred of the court entourage, the murder by conspirators in the place of the same castle where he was born. But the world of Pavlovsky Palace and the park did not touch this dramatic future. Pavlovsk seemed to fall out of the turbulent flow of time, remaining a young soul.

In Gatchina, the restless spirit of the fortress, prepared for the enemy attack, was felt. The strict harmony of the surrounding park in the English style only pushed back, counterposing the spring squeeze of the Gatchina Palace for a retaliatory strike. Secret doors, spiral staircases, underground passage to Silver Lake. Paul I loved to mysteriously disappear from the palace and so it is not predictable to return to him by any means through the front gate. The refined austerity of the Priorat castle on the shore of the Black Lake brought my imagination even more. Summer residence of the Prior of the Order of Malta. The castle is an illusion, turning around from different sides of the review, either a fortress or a Gothic chapel. The airiness of the master of the castle seemed to be in the air, his self-denial in an intense effort to transfigure and heal himself with the grace of the Holy Spirit, which illuminates human feats. “Am I also in the future a man of the autumn feat?” - I thought. But I never heard any answer to my question ...

I was already approaching by train to the Vitebsk railway station when Alain called me. She said that now only Alexander and Roman are at home, and they themselves with Denis will return only closer to nine in the evening.