“Never again joke about your girls,” steel notes appeared in Lilia’s voice, “but in this place my humor ends.

- They are not mine, - Igor could not resist, and still sarcastic, - these are common, public women!

Short beeps were heard on the phone. "You're an idiot", he mentally said to himself and smiled. "A man with a shaft in his pants", he remembered Lilya’s abandoned phrase and closed his eyes. Sometimes he was visited by obscene fantasies, that his miniature and fragile wife impales a Russian man on a thick member, but in real life, of course, he would not want to: he, an Eastern man, had difficulty understanding some Russians. At work from colleagues, he could hear plenty of such stories from their personal lives that he then ran home rather quickly and shared with Lily the accumulated information: in the literal and figurative sense of the word. He would not initiate his beloved babe into the perversions that he sometimes heard from colleagues, if he had not seen how Lily liked these stories: she started so that sex, which, as a rule, followed these revelations, was amazing and more depraved than their usual intercourse.

Igor got out of bed and began to gather at the exit. “At least I have something to make up for my ridiculous joke.”, he began to justify himself in front of him. “If you were not such an asshole, then you would not have to smooth down anything.”, a malicious voice sounded in his head and Igor sighed heavily. "Nothing, I'll come home without warning, hide somewhere, as before, then I will jump out, with the Certificate at the ready and ... Everything will be Okas my wife says. If only she was not at home, and then the whole surprise down the drain ".

Igor and Lilia were married relatively recently, but, like in any other respectable family, they already had their own family traditions. Usually, an important event was presented to each other as a mysterious quest: either it was necessary to find a hidden object, or the most beloved, who hid somewhere with a gift in their small apartment.

Back Igor was returning as usual, on the bus - he was on a business trip just two hours away from home. While Igor was shaking on our Russian roads, evenly tampering a meager hotel dinner in his stomach, he thought up where Lily would be waiting - she shouldn't be at home, so at that time she is usually engaged in shopping - a better place than a closet in the living room, he can not find. At the same time, she will also look at the shelf if Lily managed to hang her up - which she convinced him shortly before leaving. In this half-humorous bet he will win in any case: either he will not have to bother with the shelf, and he will finally place his table tennis and volleyball awards in the most prominent place, or ... Fuck, finally beloved in her virgin ass. And what: persuasion is more expensive than money!

Lily always preferred gentle and affectionate sex, and for all of Igor’s repeated attempts to make “harder” under any pretext, she avoided it. But anal sex has always been behind seven seals. Igor secretly hoped that he would be able to print out this latest print today, if not because of the shelf — suddenly she, in fact, was able to somehow hang it — because of the cruise on the liner. Igor admired the cherished Certificate from time to time, carefully pulling it out of the bag, and a happy smile never left his lover’s face.

...

Stepanych was preparing for a meeting with a neighbor in detail: it was impossible to miss such a chance.He knew his strengths: despite the gray hair covering his head around the naturally formed tonsure, and his impressive beer belly, he celebrated his 50th birthday last year in the company of two young women: Yulia and Vika, whom he fucked, according to their own words, "With extreme cruelty." They were “under forty”, and they “saw” many in their lifetime, but he “polished” them so much that his friends crawled away from him to half bent.

His Dad, bent from the delirium tremens, did not live to see the deadline, left him only one legacy: a hefty elda, which he had worn in the hayloft with his mother, fifty-one years ago from the birth of Stepanich. With this instrument of the proletariat, Stepanych opened a single cherished door on his ornate way of life, breaking open the hymen and crushing the pads to the great joy of their owners. And today he laid great hopes on his professional tool: usually women could not resist this powerful virtue for a long time: his python acted hypnotically on any banderlog from the age of eighteen and older.

Judging by the appearance of the neighbor, she was clearly a descendant of the Tatar-Mongol yoke, or some Vietnamese. Stepanycha, from childhood, was most interested in only one thing: how their pussy is located.

Like most children of his time, the “universities” of the young Stepanych's sex education were held in a limited area: from the entrance to the gate. It was impossible to draw something coherent about the whole question of interest from other sources. Neither from parents, nor, especially at school, it was impossible to achieve this.

His class teacher, a mathematician, would not tell him what an “orgasm” is even under torture. Due to the complete ignorance of the process. His Trudovik, probably, in a cruel tetanus would have fallen into a machine with a bulging face - ask him what a “clitoris” is and what he eats with. Information about sex was taboo, and it was the time to go for knowledge somewhere far away: a sort of “Indiana Jones in search of a lost phallus.”

But one evening, in the courtyard, one of the older boys, puffing on a cigarette (like a real adult), blurted out with confidence: the Mongolians and other oriental pupae are not arranged like Russian peasant women - their slits are located horizontally. Swam, they say, we know.

That was amazing news! Oh, how many wonderful discoveries for us are preparing the spirit of enlightenment.

Taking into account that the dislocation of Russian dogs was discovered relatively recently - young Stepanych then stole a pack of photographs from his father's nightstand (a pack of improvised playing cards in a muddy, black and white version) - the Mongolian traditions were alarming.

On maps taken out of the enemy camp under cover of night, women of controversial beauty and retouched "Henna" youth, in children's checkered skirts reclined in tense and unnatural poses on sofas and beds against the background of wall carpets of frightening sizes. Shamefully covering the nakedness, the black and white fat women frightenedly stared at the lens - they did not leave the feeling that they were taken by surprise - and not so much a photographer as life itself. It was very difficult to discern anything distinctly, except for various-sized breasts, which the over-aged cheerleaders were not organized armed. There, where Kurguzy's hand did not stick out, covering nature, an uncultivated field was wiggling - no human foot had gone there.

And only on one map, the Joker, socialist realism was inadvertently achieved: Sauron’s eye, not burdened with any hairy special effects, defiantly looked strictly along the ordinate against the background of the exciting forms of apple forms.

Computer Stepanych did not complain, the Internet did not understand, and never saw porn (in his village!), So this neighbor, who didn’t herself, could give a chance for a thorough study of the eastern version of the mysterious woman’s soul (five letters in horizontal). suspecting. For this, Stepanitch went on a desperate step - he washed himself. Moreover, he even shaved his entire crotch: from this, his penis began to look even more impressive - he had no room for error.

Stepanych put on his only branded underpants, the Volche Baban brought by a friend from China. True, they were a couple of sizes smaller, but the Batino legacy peeped out of them even in a calm state — Stepanych was able to convey to the spectators the outstanding details of his untrained body. The final touch to transform ... Read more →