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dressed in her luxurious outfit and trying to fix fluffed curls, Peter let out a quiet melodious whistle and gracefully, like a wild cat, slid onto the window sill, dangling his legs out of the window.
- Go here! - He called Wendy, who rushed to the table and grabbed the pen.
- Wait, wait, Peter! I have to write something to them ...
- Write "Farewell!". They will understand everything. - Peter stretched out his hand and smacked his lips, - Hello, my handsome ..., - he gently cooed to someone, - Relaxed without me in the wild? Where are you, Wendy? - without looking back, he impatiently threw, - This beast will not wait long. He is free as the wind, and is not subject to anyone. Sometimes I do not understand why he obeys me.
"Farewell! “- and only managed to bring Wendy to a beautiful hand with artistic curls. She wanted to dip the pen in the ink a second time, but hastily knocked over the inkwell. A black spot immediately absorbed half of her note, before she managed to pick up a piece of paper, from which ink dripped onto the inlaid top of the secretary.
- Oh my God! What have I done! It is necessary to remove everything! She exclaimed in a panic, but Peter suddenly took off and disappeared through the window. Wendy rushed after him, leaned over the window-sill and saw the snow-white winged horse racing unrestrainedly across the sky, kicking, snoring, frantically bending the neck and angrily rotating its eyes ... underneath her muscles rolled wildly. Powerful wings beat Peter on the legs, and he sat astride so calmly, as if under him there was not a raging demon, but the most obedient animal in the world. He firmly held the stallion by the mane, abruptly pulling back his neck, and then squeezed his sides with his feet, so as not to fall, then hit on them with his boots, improving the moment. A detached smile of a future winner, irreconcilable and confident, shone on his lips. Finally, the capricious monster was bored with kicking, he last time violently kicked out the air with his hind legs, shook his head with irritation, spread his wings wide and walked at a steady gallop, as if loosening invisible ground with his thin strong legs.
Wendy, stunned, froze at the window, clutching the edge of the windowsill with whitened fingers. Peter stretched out his hand to her from afar, but she could not move from her place of fear.
“Get on the window-sill,” he shouted in such an ordinary voice, as if he were talking about something completely ordinary. Wendy hesitated, but voices were suddenly heard outside her bedroom door.
“Wendy, honey, what's that noise about you?” - Mom asked worriedly and had already started knocking on the door.
- It's okay, mommy! A pigeon flew to me ..., - she invented on the move, breathing a little from excitement, - But now he has already flown away ... I want to sleep a little more ...
God, how terrible it was to lie to mom, especially at the last moment before she disappeared forever! Wendy carefully sat on the windowsill and threw her legs, entangled in lush skirts, out the window. She was trembling, chill and her heart throbbed somewhere in her throat and stomach at the same time. Peter has once again turned the stallion into a circle for a turn and disappeared behind the wall of the house. Wendy looked around, not understanding what was happening, but at that moment a violent hurricane of hot wind came over her, which tore her off a slippery sill and seemed to drop into the abyss of white feathers. Her breathing stopped, her hair flew up, closing the view, the hem of her dress shot up with a sail, the wind, without ceasing, blew in her face, and it seemed to her that she was falling into the abyss without stopping.
“You're trembling all over, my darling,” Peter’s voice whispered fiercely in her ear, and only then she realized that she was sitting sideways on a pegasus, and Peter was squeezing her in her arms. He smelled sweetly of the sea, the wind, the forest, the wildflowers and the rain, like yesterday, and he also smelled of love. He gently brushed the tangled hair from her face, and she looked into the shining emeralds of his eyes.His gaze was implacable, stubborn, hungry and triumphant. His body was hot and strong, his lips were burning and smiling smugly, his shirt was sulking in the wind, the golden chain around his neck and the earring in his ear were defiantly shining on the already visible sun. Looking back over Peter's shoulder, Wendy saw that they were flying high in the sky, and her house, with a small figure of her mother looking out of the window, was rapidly moving away from them. She wanted to wave her hand and shouted: “Mom! Farewell! ”, But Peter hissed irritably into her lips:“ Shut up. You are now only mine, ”and covered them with a kiss. His tongue and lips caressed her with such greed and passion that Wendy immediately forgot about everything. Oh, forcing them to forget about their past is what he knew how to do best.
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Author, tell me, what made you debase the children's fairy tale? Wretchedness of fantasy or hidden pedophilia?
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If my fantasy is wretched for you - refer to other works on the resource. But about the pedophile tendencies - look for the problem in yourself, since you have unhealthy associations, since my characters are all mature and adult. Everyone used to be children, and then grow up and have sex. Not?
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Do not pay attention to the spiteful critics.
Tale charming, I really liked it))
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Thank you very much, Yako :) I'm glad you liked it. And such comments once met under other works. Work trolls :)
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Yes, and comfort, and praise. And cons slapped. Not out of malice. By friendship. Only this, after all, does not change things, to distort the children's fairy tale - there is not much need for a mind But to write a fairy tale for adults from the nursery, keeping the style, mood, atmosphere - for this talent is needed. The only pity is that it is not stupid, but immediately rush to insults.
However, congratulations, you, too, are now in beau monde.
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It was possible to write the coolest styling, of course, having spent more time, soul, and soul on it, and then also get accusations for it in the absence of imagination, talent and a tendency to pedophilia. So glad to try, but within reason;)
For the rest, in principle, I agree: sometimes the truth is like this - you write an innocent, not provocative comment, and the evil author for him suddenly all of a sudden insults;)
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Only 10!
This is the beauty of what, read avidly !!
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Thank you very much for the rating! Very nice:)
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Sadness It is written beautifully, no doubt, but Peter as an Idea, a respected author distorted. Not the fact that he did it to adults and taught us how to fuck Wendy, but into what bastard he turned.
However, maybe there will be a continuation and Peter will wake up, eh? :)
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Alas, I completely agree with the words of Sem. Even getting lost what grade to put. The idea itself is not a bad one, and the story is up to the mark, but an unpleasant aftertaste from reading.
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Sema, Marina, thank you for your opinion - I, in general, understand your dissatisfaction with Peter;) But, honestly, this is how I see him in adulthood, and this, with all due respect to the original work. I’ll say a seditious thing now, but why is Peter James Barry really that good? I mean his human qualities, not the quality of the realization of the image. A spoiled, selfish boy who did not want to take responsibility for anything in the world, who was absorbed solely by his own games and fantasies and did not spare anyone in them. He often was cruel, indifferent, arrogant and arrogant, he constantly forgot all ... Yes - just a child, you could be different when you grow up ... Just why would you? Peter as an idea is a boy to whom everything is permitted, because he is left to himself and because absolutely all his fantasies come true.So I suggested what it would turn out to be ... First, in childish pranks, and then?;) What happens to people who do not want to grow up, learn to love, learn to take responsibility?
And unless from Barry's fairy tale there is no sediment? I always stayed. Yes, now from the first lines: “All children (except Peter Pan, whom you will soon hear about) eventually become adults” to the last: “And while we look at Wendy, her hair turns white, and she herself is getting smaller, for all this happened a long time ago. Now Jane is an adult, like everyone else, and she has a daughter named Margaret; and every spring, except for those when he forgets, Peter flies over for Margaret and takes her to the Nowhere with her, where she tells him tales about himself, and he listens and admires. When Margaret grows up, she too will have a daughter, and she will also fly away to Peter Pan, and this will continue until the children are cheerful, ingenuous and heartless. ”
I don’t understand the negative reaction to my alternative version of the fairy tale - as always, I can’t and I’m not going to write about the holy one - they are not interesting for me, especially men, especially in porn, especially on PT ... I have planned three parts this way. It is a pity if they do not succeed;) But, hope dies last.
As for whether Peter will come to his senses ... Wendy will try))), but it’s better not to forget about the end of the original story, since I took it;) And I have my own plans for pirates))))))
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Alas, childhood heroes unwittingly idealize and forgive. And I would like to think that in matured St. Petersburg there will be more nobility and constancy. Although you may be right, why? Psychologists even talk about the syndrome of "Peter Pen" - men of an eternal boy who does not want to take responsibility. But still, what can and is forgiven in childhood, in adult life has a very different interpretation.
And who said that you must follow the original in the end of the story? Create your alternative version, maybe it will smooth the bitter sediment that you felt as a child.
And for God's sake do not be offended at me, this is my subjectivity perception.
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Oh, you! Not in the eyebrow, but in the eye! Madam, my deepest apologies! And indeed, I forgot about the original of the originals - the tale of Mr. Bari. Did you watch the movie "Captain Hook"? I guess so. I'm afraid I relied on the image of Peter, who created Robin Williams. And this image is more than worthy, agree.
Once again my deepest apologies for the unfounded reproach to you. Write more! Write, I will personally read. Yes, and for this story put the nine, because he never had the habit of putting two on those whose opinion I do not share, but whose style and style I admire.
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The film was watched for a long time :) But in my view, as you understand, Peter (and Ding, by the way) should have been completely different :) Although it should be reconsidered, by the way. Good film.
Thank you for your appreciation! :) I am working on the continuation.
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Of course, from Peter Pan you can make Arthur Gray, but why? These are different images and I chose Peter myself ... However, until I finish everything, I cannot guarantee for one hundred percent how my story will end, but I would not like to idealize Peter. I do not consider him a positive character ... Wendy - yes, but he - no. But let's see ...
Marin, I do not take offense at you, that you. You always write sincere comments, including with constructive criticism, and at the same time very delicately - so your comments and valuable. So thank you for your opinion :) I'm just trying to convey my idea :)
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Sumptuously! Unforced, addictive, fascinating and at the same time charming story! I express my deep gratitude to the author and hope to continue this topic =) R. s. whatever the experts in the “Erotic fairy tale” genre wrote here, they themselves knew where they went and what would happen here (this is not a city library yet). The taste and color - no friends. This is the best erotic story about Peter and Wendy, of all I have ever read.
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Thank you very much for the support, for the gratitude and for the praise! :) Continuation will be required. In the fairy tale genre for the first time I decided to try myself, inspired by other stories from this category. I did not think that someone would not be pleased, and even more indignant, but you are right - you will not please everyone, although I will try :)
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Immaculately!))) Both the stylistics of J. Barry and the high-quality historical English of the Republic of Latvia are respected. She put 10, although for some reason it did not affect the total score. ((I also don’t like Peter Pan))) And the logic of the character development of this character, in my opinion, could have developed that way, if the boy grew up.) Arthur Gray will not be able to make it: there is no ability for compassion. And here the author is right. And the erotic part of the narrative is good: everything is comme il faut — how "pastel scenes" can be "decent." Hilarious, delicious and not boring. Much better than the well-known English-speaking authors in the LR genre.))) In general, all the muzhuki are ... and the girl is a Jaalaqaaa! Do not torment the girl too much in the promised continuation, please!)))
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Thank you very much, Mara! :) To hear such praises from you is worth a lot. You usually always have something, but you will find;) But always on business, by the way, although I also love to hurt myself in return))) I will try not to torment the girl very much, but I’ll ruin my reputation for nothing (: I think))) By the way, about gay / bi - this is an IDEA!)) True, I don’t see Peter in this role, but pirates ...)))
Incest of parents and children is somehow not at all mine. Is that Peter come up with a sister like ... ummm ... Peppy Long Stocking))) To them there rustle brought on the island))) For nothing! :)
Many people on the forum are now complaining about the technical failure - readers put the authors of 10s, and the rating not only does not grow, but sometimes it falls. It seems that the team is working on it.
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By the way, can it come in handy? The prototype of Peter Pan was a certain Michael Davis. Separate homosexual topic. If there was no specific sexual connotation in the relationship with Barry, although they were “dumb”, then with Drugan Buxton, rather than not. Very yes. They drowned together: double suicide is the most popular version.
And I want to remind you that instead of the older Wendy to Netland, Peng took her daughter. Although ... it is unlikely that you threatened the family saga ... (with a squeamish whisper) with incest.)))
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But the boys have long to torment necessary, I think)))
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I like the way you think)))
Girls, kaneShnas, are often lured, but ... they quickly grow up.))) Well, the manipulation of the ladies' partner in the blood. Taki in the war, as in the war.))) By the way, to your early history, too, about the "girl" Christina. I would read with interest about her and darling to Luka in about 10 years, when it will be possible to talk about equality of potentials. However, “experience is the son of difficult mistakes”!)))
Well, in this case, if you follow Sir James, Wendy will quickly grow up. She was certainly not innocent: she knew about “kissing,” and Peter didn’t understand anything after the kiss. Not matured.))) Oh, well, let the girl grow up a bit, feel her feminine strength. A little tired of these eternal "terpily" in the form of ladies. And where do only bitches in life come from? Maybe it is the Wendy-Christine who grow up through the efforts of wonderful boys of all ages?))) Wendy matured and the lonely Captain Hook is quite a traditional line for LR.) Yes, and the “English vice” is quite a place where there are pirates.)))
Well ... with your imagination, I believe that there will be no skuSna!)))
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Yes, I seem to be hanging out with girls at the stage of seduction;) Apparently, something personal, although I have no idea what it is)) Well - I will hope that my fantasy will not fail, but that, judging by readers' estimates , my progress is not noticeable;)
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Yes, I seem to be hanging out with girls at the stage of seduction;) Apparently, something personal, although I have no idea what it is))
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Oh, “girls on the stage” is a god’s topic.))) Here, the side involved has something to remember.))) Something personal.))) In my opinion, here the post-context context is variable: what is your life in the face of the "seducer" drops. If the insult and insult, then bad. And so seduction - quite an erotic fantasy.)
A bit of a different stereotype strains me: seduced is a surely inconsolable victim with a broken heart forever. For the heart, I would not say, but the illusions are scattered.))) So it is for the better: a little bit of cynicism is only for the benefit - a look at the sober face. And then the story begins, “how steel was tempered”)))
That's why it's interesting for me to talk about the heroes in 10 years.))) And the funny thing (zhist, in general, the lady with humor), that you get a complete satisfaction from her offense. BUT ... just when you don’t have to give back, except for bewilderment and annoyance at the inconvenience of the situation.))) And in FIG, this compensation is not needed. One desire - to politely get rid of.)))
Well ... these little thoughts do not belong to this story - here is a fairy tale.)
I like your stories: they have a background - they are not flat. They want to extend in time and space. A sign of a good story - it's a pity to part with him: Hotz's continuation, development. "Christine ten years later"))))
By the way, for example, did you try to lay out in Samizdat or Litmere? There is also a section of Erotica. You more than talent. Five ladies from this site, I would be happy to Lytmira then download to the reader.)))
Good luck to you!
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I was just going to reflect the cynical approach in the “Wandering Lights” for a start, although, apparently, in “Peter” the curve will also lead there;) I am a bit tired from “Christina” ... Well, and I feel a certain completeness in it why Something ... Bye :) Maybe it’s really worth continuing, once it’s done successfully, it’s probably better. I’ve got a blush on my eyes: - / In continuations there is always a big risk of slipping into some kind of triviality or burden ... I don’t want an unpleasant aftertaste from a good start;) they feel like :)
Thank you for your recommendations, advices and good luck :)
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Thank you for your recommendations, advices and good luck :)
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Please!))) Only not instructions and recommendations. God forbid! This is your creative workshop - you are a sovereign hostess in it.))) A little reflection and suggestions - no more. Agree, for the reader, great luck from the author himself to ask the continuation of the story he liked.))) Well, when write, if write, then your author's will!))) Well, I’ll hope so: suddenly I’ll find out. what kind of woman the heroine grew up in.))) To your new publications!
P. S. A “Wandering Lights” somehow did not go with me. I read only the first part and decided to wait for the whole story, then read it all at once. It is possible that I did not understand something in the first part.)))
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And I really liked the idea of turning a fairy tale. I myself am thinking of something to vulgarize ... The style is certainly good. But there are complaints about the plot. First, it is not necessary to say that the observer is Peter (especially two times) - the reader will understand this himself. Secondly, the effect of Ding dust is unclear. In the first part, she forced the girl to fool herself into lewd acts, and in the second she acted only on sleep. At least it is not clear that it was Shendy who made Wendy surrender.And it is not clear whether it affects sleep, but before that it did. Peter's motives are not clear. Why precisely Wendy? Why alone? By the way, was it an original adventure, or was it just a dream inspired by Ding? And finally, sorry for snobbery, I think Peter Pen deserves a more exciting adventure than just seducing an unsophisticated girl. Moreover, it is not clear what was the greater cause: he himself or Ding dust. If I were you, I would shift the focus on Wendy's desire to get into a country of erotic dreams. It would not be badly intertwined with the original plot.
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Thank you very much for the feedback :) I wish you success in your own creativity and ideas :)
About the plot. The effect of Ding dust both times was the same, just the first time was the impact not in a dream, but a second time during sleep ... We assume that the peak of its impact fell on a dream, but over time it weakened)) And then if Wendy herself pounced on Peter, it would be somehow not comme il faut, in my opinion;) Well, in principle, not quite her mind is damaged. Still, almost an unfamiliar man in the bed of an innocent girl !!! 1)) And I needed the dust to make sure that Wendy didn’t wake up for a long time, despite manipulations with her;) By the way, I mentioned that a lot depends on the amount of dust - Peter asked Ding with anger how much dust she had piled on Wendy.
In the original, it is also not clear why Wendy. All children fantasize, after all. So it was a random choice (well, or in my story - I just chose the beautiful woman to my taste). As to whether the original adventure. So this is only the first part of the story - wait for further explanations;) I do not know how to write briefly and succinctly, unfortunately ... or fortunately.
Was she the first, last, only, and so on? Of course, it was not the first - I indicated at the beginning that he was a hangover, and the original plot hints that he is forgetful, that he is quite capable of changing friends like gloves, so why not girls?
As for the adventure of seducing an innocent girl, so here it is - the taste and color, as they say;) Deprivation is my favorite category;) Female temptation is not so attractive for me, however, like male innocence, for example :) For the same reason, I would not like to reduce Wendy’s motivation to the desire to get into a country of erotic dreams. This is not the dream of young innocent girls;) Although this is also about it, love is the main driving force. But let's see how I can still make it all come true :) Plenty of plans;)
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Then I would recommend a little to help the reader understand the effect of dust. For example, let Peter see to it that this time the portion of dust was small. Plus, to show that Wendy, having woken up, is trying to fight dope, or something like that. Then the transition will be smoother and more logical. By the way, why did Ding use dust for the first time?
Well, I agree that he could just choose the beautiful woman he liked. But still chose. It would not be bad for his desire to have a beautiful woman in his Neverland to push the story forward, plus add a couple of strokes why it is this beauty. Well, whether he falls in love with her or not depends on you. You are a girl, and then fall in love, but ... maybe you can think of something more fun. We will see.
Loss of virginity and innocence is already at the discretion of the author. But, I would have expected more from the story in order to convince me that Wendy (a lady from the past century, living in prim England) agrees to have sex with a barely familiar hangover and goes with him to hell knows where to go on Pegasus.
Signed. Waiting for the continuation. I hope you yourself understand that once you have taken on such a topic, then you will have to do something worthy of Peter Pen, and not just a love story.
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Ding used dust from harm and from jealousy to make Wendy dishonor herself.
And Peter is all so unpredictable - he had not planned to take the girl to Neverland in advance, it just happened :) And Wendy - she suddenly remembered, or saw in a dream that she was in Neverland and knows Peter and once fell in love with him . In addition, her heart is broken - she needs love urgently, and here Peter is an irresistible handsome man :) I do not know how convincing it is ...)) But I will try to make all this worthy and obscene :) In moderation :)
Thank you very much for the recommendations and clarifications! I do not promise to continue quickly, but I work.
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How do I like your stories ... And with Peter Pen, you hit the target directly - the object of my girlish dreams)) Of course, at that time I had not dreamed of sex ... But adult Peter is something!))
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