- Be sure to help! - Ardently supported her old man, grabbing my hand. His strength turned out to be enough to pull me out with one jerk.

“Thank you,” I nod gratefully, squeezing a banana skin from my shoulder, and a sticky wrap from ice cream from my head. The path was not so deserted, young mothers with wheelchairs appeared on it. We need to quickly clean up.

“No thanks,” the old man gallantly bows. - It is always pleasant to come to the aid of the beautiful ..., - he looks at me more attentively, and recoils from surprise. - Who are you?

Further events are a series of absurd accidents and total bad luck. At least, I will stick to this particular version.

Having recoiled, the old man awkwardly stepped on the very skin that I shook, waved my hands, knocking a scarf and glasses off my head, and fell to the ground. I tried to hold him, but only grabbed the collar of my shirt, which broke with a bang.

- Pensioners are beaten! - Young mother shouted not really delving into the situation.

- I did not touch him! - I shouted, but late.

- Pervert! A man in a skirt! Pensioners rob! Help! - mothers screamed so that, probably, they were heard by the whole park. Two policemen, who did not draw at the right time, were definitely heard nearby.

At that moment I could calmly explain everything to them, but then Prokhorov intervened:

- Run! She whispered. - Otherwise they will notice!

I took the first uncertain step, the police noticeably tensed and also accelerated in my direction. Everything. Then I did not think, just pulled away. The law enforcement officers rushed after me.

I have long promised myself to go in for sports, to start running in the mornings, push-ups and pull up ... It's a pity it all remained in the plans.

Now, in the chest, hoarse and hoarse, while I, lifting my skirt high, ran along the narrow park paths. The policemen were trailing behind, while I still managed to keep my distance. Silently run, do not shout, it means they keep their breath to catch up for sure.

I remembered old movies with Steven Seagal. There were often scenes with chases where he ran beautifully and for a long time, chasing the bad guys. I wonder how I look from the side? I think it is rather entertaining, because few of the passersby remained indifferent to such a spectacle. Many not only stopped to look, but also hurried to shoot everything on mobile phones.

The park ended, I ran out onto a busy street. Punched in the side, and buzzed legs, a little more and they catch up with me. Without inventing anything smarter, I tried to hide in the nearest large building, which turned out to be a cinema.

I rush into the lobby, nobody is there - the session has already begun. Under the surprised looks of the security guard and the ticket collector, I hurry deep into the premises. Already bursting into the toilet, I understand that it would be better to try to hide in the auditorium, hide in the dark.

I hear the cries of the police, who are already in the cinema. Now they will be shown where I have disappeared. My last chance - booths, you can try to lie low in one of them, climbing with his feet on the toilet.

I do not hesitate to rush to the first booth and swing it open. Two-second silence, I understand that I managed to get into the female toilet and, moreover, wanted to hide in a stall that someone had already chosen.

A pretty woman with lowered trousers stared at me with square eyes.

- Aah! - we shouted at the same time.

I jump back, closing the door, screaming as if cut off.But the silence did not last long, the police broke into the toilet and immediately rushed at me. I do not know what happened to me, but I began to show resistance, aggravating my unenviable position.

I did not fight with them ... He spat in the eye of one and revengedly bit the second one when he tried to twist my hand. The police were offended and stopped almond. I instantly came to my senses, having received several times in the ribs and in the teeth. All the run.

Strong arms of law enforcement officers quickly laid me on a dirty floor and immobilized.

At the entrance to the cinema, a patrol car was already waiting for me, handcuffed me, solemnly led through the lobby. A woman from the toilet, a security guard and a ticket attendant applauded the police and thanked them for their good work. Everyone rejoiced and laughed, and for the first time I thought about suicide ...

On the way to the station, they did not talk to me, although they discussed my image of morality among themselves. I was mistaken for a homeless bastard and now they were arguing that it brought me to life such as vodka or drugs.

Lean apathy came on, absolutely did not want to argue and explain something. I allowed to escort myself to the camera. So what are you - a monkey.

In a small cell with two bunkers it smelled foul and it was very dirty.

“Sit, wait,” the policeman commanded. - Do not shit.

The impression was that the policeman took me for a drug addict, so he talks like an idiot. I nod indifferently.

“Don't be bullied, please,” the policeman politely asks before closing the door.

And now what? I didn’t have a phone and documents; I didn’t have a clear explanation for what happened. For sure! I have to give one phone call! I saw in the cinema ... True, the cinema was not ours and the rules could be different.

It does not pass and received, as a hunched, fetid peasant is pushed into the chamber.

“This is Grisha,” the policeman tells me. - Grisha is a local bum, do not hurt him.

Yeah, what if he offends me? I don’t have time to say anything, the door clacks shut.

Homeless Grisha looks at me with carnivorous interest. His faded glass eyes carefully examine my clothes, face.

- Give me some food? - The homeless person from whom stinks is so interested that I want to knock out the door of the chamber and give a tear.

- No, - I carefully answer, this type does not look sane enough, therefore it causes well-founded fears.

- And give me the money? - from the child’s spontaneity, the individual continues to ask questions.

- No, I have nothing.

- And if I knife you pyrnu? - without changing intonation the homeless is interested.

- Do you have a knife? - I nervously swallow.

- No, - Grisha grieves, his face takes offended look. - taken away.

I exhale noisily through my teeth. It has passed.

“Grisha, let's not quarrel,” I begin diplomatic negotiations. - I have nothing, you have nothing. We have nothing to share.

- Nothing ..., - homelessly agrees thoughtfully. - And if I still look for it? Suddenly, you're hiding something, that's what your skirt is wide. Can I look under it?

“I will bite you,” I honestly confess, morally preparing to defend my honor and dignity.

- Do not bite! - Grisha is frightened, and then confidentially reports. - I don’t like being bitten, so I’m afraid of animals.

- WOF WOF! - threateningly klatsayu teeth. My cellmate frightened pressed into the wall.

Homeless Grisha no longer wanted to communicate and went somewhere far into himself. From the edge of his mouth he drool. Will not be back soon.

So, you need to urgently do something.

- Hey! Is anyone there? - demanding knocking fist on the door. After some time, they noticed me, and a young policeman peered into the camera:

- What do you want? - He asked irritably and honestly warned. - You will brawl - with an ogreu baton.

- He feels bad! - quickly move the arrows to Vasya.

- Ha! - shakes a policeman. - This is very good for him! When it is bad, he is at war with the devils and spits blood. Do not distract over trifles.

- Wait! - do not let him go. - When will they let me out? I did not do anything, all this is a misunderstanding.

“Everybody says that,” the policeman chuckled, examining me with a fair amount of disgust. - Soon the senior will come, and deal with him. In the meantime, sit down.

The door clanged shut. Yearning...

Time dragged on like high-quality tires. I managed to mentally several times ... Read more →