- Contrary to fate. Part 1
- Contrary to fate. Part 2
- Contrary to fate. Part 3
Page: 32 of 32
you more than a worthy man to convey the words of the people to the ears of the Emperor! That you take care of this country, honor its laws, be a role model for young aristocrats! The burden on your shoulders is much heavier than I can imagine! And therefore you will fight with me with this sword. ”I waved my hand and the guard standing at a distance approached, carrying a hefty claymore. - This blade personifies all those people whom you had to protect! Their will, their desires!
- I ... I ... I can't! - the senator didn’t even try to grab the handle.
I handed over to Kat'Atu the same sword. And, a minute later, I finally put my blade into the sheath, clearly realizing that today I more than confirmed my title of Mentor “cloaks”. And feeling completely exhausted.
However, one more thing remained, and I hoped it would cause much more delight than the execution of conspirators.
“Merchant Liska has no family to inherit his fortune,” I said, addressing the senate. - According to the laws of our Empire, his condition passes into my hands. And here is my will.
I looked at the senators. In their eyes for the first time ever lit a genuine interest. For the most part, they didn’t care about execution, the senate thought only how to hide a yawn, becoming interested only in the punishment of Kat'Ata and Nicholas, clearly fearing one day to share their fate. However, as soon as I mentioned the money, I immediately clearly heard how the coins rang in their heads.
“First, I take the Liska wineries into the possession of the Katreggi family,” I said loudly. “I’m sure they will serve in the hands of my family for the good of the Empire,” my father nodded his gratitude when he heard this. - Secondly, I leave the gambling house, opened by the merchant in the Capital, in my hands. However, the entire income from it will go to the arrangement of the first in the Empire Academy, which will have the opportunity to learn martial art from the "golden cloaks" themselves!
The faces of the senators were bewildered. None of them expected such a turn. The emperor, however, looked at me with a thoughtful look, obviously thinking about something in his head.
“Thirdly, the suburban villa Liska,” I continued, without paying much attention to the faces of the senators, “I transfer to the joint possession of the guards who provided invaluable help in apprehending the criminals with the condition that they make every effort to turn this place into the mentioned earlier military academy!
The guard loyal to me, who stood a little apart, looked at each other in surprise and, without saying a word, gave me a salute. And only then they shouted each other with delight, slapping each other's backs, hardly recognizing the happiness that had fallen. I smiled at them. These people had to stand at the head of the most prestigious military academy in the Empire, if, of course, our ruler does not want to cancel my decision. And they instantly understood it.
The Senate waited a couple more minutes, making sure that the presentation was over, and, whispering animatedly, he headed for the exit.
I looked at their backs and thought how I was able to impress them. After all, in fact, it was for this that I started everything. Drew an ordinary penalty in the whole presentation for the views of senators.
“Well, you made the show,” smiled the Emperor, taking me aside. “However, another prisoner is waiting for you,” the old man shot a glance at Catherine standing behind him. - And it is better that you announce your sentence in private.
“I think the punishment for the princess will be far less standard than the rest,” I smiled.
“Spit it out,” there was not a shadow of that smile that adorned his face in the eyes of the Emperor.
“I forbid the princess to leave her chambers until the very beginning of the Feast of Renewal.” And so that Katerina did not have any thoughts of escaping, her entire wardrobe would be removed from her chambers. A couple of weeks, my princess, you have to spend naked.
The emperor grinned, while Katerina flushed slightly, not daring to say a word.
- and all?
I shrugged and sighed heavily, looking for the right words.
“I believe your daughter acted with the best of intentions.” She tried not to give you, the Emperor, to make a mistake, enthroning the wrong person. So, if you do not mind, these two weeks I will spend the night in the princess's chambers. I think we have something to talk about. And I have no doubt that I will be able to show her my essence.
Katerina reddened all over and strenuously looked at herself under her feet, obviously imagining that they were waiting for her in two weeks. The emperor, having presented her daughter with a sly look, burst into wild laughter.
- Yeah, I'm sure! - the governor doubled over with laughter. - After two weeks of such ... ahem ... there will be no "talk" of her and the thought of killing you!
The emperor, still laughing wildly, headed for the castle, leaving us alone with the princess.
- You ... You are on purpose! - Still, Katerina hissed, still taking her eyes off the ground. - I will not sleep with you!
I put my hand on her cheek and made the girl look into my eyes. And, seeing in her gaze a passionate desire, he gently kissed the princess, spitting on the surprised looks of the “cloaks”.
“I will never take you by force, my princess,” I said calmly, knowing full well that the girl needed only a little nudge and she would pounce on me. - And now let's go. Time later, but I still have to bring your chambers into proper form and take a bath.
Katerina looked up at me and instantly realized that I was not joking about taking all her clothes from her. A bashful light reflected in the girl's eyes, soon replaced by lust.
***
For the first time in my life, I was happy that I was wearing a dress fitting for an aristocratic woman. Reaching to the floor, with a wide skirt. With a chest-hugging blue corset.
Because the dress completely hid the wooden ball, which Alexander stuck between my legs. The ball itself was a little smaller than my fist, but a long stick with a pair of fingers stuck out of it, which now went out between my wet lips and lips on a good palm, preventing me from thinking normally.
My father had just, in the presence of all the capital nobility, announced his intention to build Alexander on the imperial throne. And then, without losing a moment, he called everyone to rejoice over the imminent wedding.
I looked around the faces. And although there was a displeased expression on some of them, most of them smiled broadly, giving Alexander and Alexander applause. (Porn stories) I wonder how many of them mentally already plotted?
But, to be honest, I was too excited about the toy sticking out between my legs, which Alexander must have borrowed from the Vermirr priestesses.
I looked at the calm face of the bastard. He, as always, was ready for anything. In the golden cloak of the Mentor, with the sword. Next to him could relax. Near it you can anything! Even get fucked right at this reception, since our engagement was announced to the whole Capital ...
sear21
Novosibirsk, 2013
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Bravo, the author, a fairy tale, the length of the novel, turned out just gorgeous !!! True, sometimes the author went overboard with long descriptions of the scenes of the fighting, leaving only a little time to describe the sexual pleasures.
However, in the last part, in my opinion, all the necessary time proportions were observed by the author.
Why I called this creation a fairy tale. Yes, because, in my opinion, such a turn of events in the Roman Empire simply could not exist and the son of a slave would have to be content with the position of mentor to the fighters of the imperial guard and be the secret lover of the loving empress. And it is possible that he could give unofficial orders of the army, and the emperor's nephew would sit on the throne (in the described historical era, marriages between relatives, each of whom had the right to the throne, were not so rare).
I also expected a sad end in which the bashard would die the death of the brave, become a victim of the conspirators and at the time of death would make love to the hereditary princess.
Or he would proudly leave his father’s house, abandoning the inheritance and marrying his slave.
Or, he would have led, like Spartacus, a gladiator uprising aimed at overthrowing slavery in the Roman Empire.
However, from the fact that this is a fairy tale (or fantasy) his work does not lose at all. This is all about the content of a historical fairy tale novel ...
But, unfortunately, it didn’t do without trivial grammatical errors (the author, unfortunately, is not familiar with the spelling of verbs with the particle "tsya" (often, in places where it was required, there was no soft sign or, on the contrary, in places where it was required , his absence was noted)), and often the necessary commas were missing in the sentences. I will not bother quoting mistakes (fortunately, there were not so many of them compared to the size of the author’s creation.
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The answer is quite simple:
1. This is not the Roman Empire. At the very beginning of the first part there is a note “the author does not claim to historical accuracy”. As you correctly noticed - this is a fairy tale. Therefore, the impossible is possible.
2. My Russian is not perfect. I admit with regret. Constantly working to improve their skills.
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If this is a test of the pen before or while writing something more than a similar story - then I would gladly read, say, a fantasy from under your pen.
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To be honest, in anticipation of the last, third part, I considered many options for the development of events, but I did not expect this. Bravo - a fairy tale should be a fairy tale! As for the mistakes in the text, I can only say that there was nothing terrible, and Pushkin and Tolstoy had mistakes, but that didn’t make their ingenious works worse. In my opinion the novel turned out. I would not refuse to have it in my library in book version. Thanks for the fascinating reading.
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Thanks, tried.
Although now I'm starting to think to write the fourth. The plot is there, it remains to figure out how to add a sex thread to it.
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Yes, I wonder how the ruler will be the former son of a slave, and will he, as before, defend the honor in the arena? How will his family life? What kind of relationship will Katerina have with his beloved slave Lina? Can a new interesting character appear?
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Thank you for your interest. If suddenly I undertake to write the continuation of the story, I will devote a little extra attention to these issues. Like the theme of slavery in the Country, and then too much interest in them arose suddenly.
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Yes, a fairy tale and of course you should not pay attention to the grammar. But somehow it is not so. I really liked the first part, but the second and third as it is not very. The actions are broken, the characters of the main characters are not clear, the sex scene is somehow separate. This is of course only my opinion, but this story describes a country of happy slavery and, by and large, decent people, with all their conspiracies, etc. In this world, Spartak has nothing to do. What about slaves is generally not clear, slaves are happy (they are given games to watch). No tension, no violence forcing to fight, no will. Although swallowed. IMHO.
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Slaves are happy - a bold statement. Considering that slaves are described in only one place - the Katreggi estate, where, as it was immediately stated, “they were treated much better than in other places”.
Sorry, the slave uprising has already been shown in “Spartacus”, somehow I didn’t want to write on the already beaten story. But if I suddenly write about this world - for your sake, I will certainly pay special attention to the real situation of slaves in this country.
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Thank you for the clarification. Just particular generalize the whole. And if life is less so in a separate estate, the overall picture may not be so serious.Therefore, I did not think about the uprisings of slaves or small local nobility - not that world (it seems). And it would be simple. “The Warriors, gleaming with armor, closing a line and covering their bodies with shields, putting forth spears, step by step pressed against the ramparts of the fiercely fighting Alexander. His skill and quick sword snatched warriors from their ranks, but the end was near. ”
In master words. Please pay attention to the characters of the characters, their experiences, intrigues, etc.
And in general, I applaud you. Write 4 part. I will wait.
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No violence? Isn’t violence to force a slave to have sex against her desire? Is not violence-continuous looting in the streets? Are gladiators happy when they are sent to die? Strange, however, you have ideas about violence.
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Well firstly - forcing slaves to have sex. They take it for granted, this is the world. Faster to fulfill the "duty" and entertain yourself. Where are the tears, the gnashing of a tooth, a beloved porter who is in love with him, wading toward his master at night and cutting his throat? There is no violence, there is a compulsory obligation. Robbery violence? Yes, it is the middle ages. At that time, it’s quite normal to kill someone in a duel or groan on the road. As for the gladiators - not all fights were deadly. Many slaves wanted to get into the gladiator schools. Feeding better, women are given, there is an opportunity to be released. Better than at the quarries. Everything is relative.
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Stalker43!
It is always necessary to pay attention to GRAMMAR :))) Even if you write porn :) Reading text with potholes is unpleasant.
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Super!! I was looking forward to the third part, now I will wait for new creations! Pishy more countryman!
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cool. I would just like to read more about Lina, maybe you’ll really think to write 4. part :)
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The plot is not over I demand to continue! =) I accidentally read the first part, I waited for the second part, the third was beyond praise. All parts read avidly. On account of the lack of erotic scenes - disagree. They just complement a great story (a novel, I don’t know how the author will be nicer).
As far as I understood, this is far from being the Roman Empire, but something like Russia that conquered everyone and everything in its path, correct if you did not guess.
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Excerpt from the first part:
“- If you go east or west, you will see oceans, which only the bravest captains can cross. In the north, the borders of the Empire reach those lands where snow lasts most of the year. There live wild barbarians who fight with each other for hunting grounds. There is nothing useful in their lands, because the Empire left them alone. And in the south lies a large desert, the size of a few weeks' journey. During the day there is such heat that the body dries out in a matter of hours. There is almost no water. ”
I do not know very well the geography, but none of the ancient civilizations satisfy the request :) This is a fictional country.
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This fictional country reminds exactly the Roman Empire. It was there that public orgies were adopted (there was no such thing in Russia), it was there that gladiators existed. It is characterized by such a hot climate and typical clothing of the inhabitants (mantle and tunic). And in its style of writing, your historical fairy tale resembles the novel “Spartak”, beloved by me.
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I was looking forward to 3 parts, I waited as a favorite series (or a film after a commercial break), the sex scenes in this story are clearly not the main ones, they tint the main story a bit, and surely they could be reduced (if not for the format of this site).
The world created by the author is so interesting that it is clearly not worth dwelling on the three-part story, asking for a whole novel, I think readers will surely find it, I would read it with great pleasure, and an excellent film would also come from this story (hello to Hollywood scriptwriters).
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If someone wants to write a full review of this story with an analysis of the pros and cons - I will be glad to receive it on your email address -
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Yes, very fascinating and easy reading. And we will be happy with the fourth and fifth parts of the novel about Alexander. But if you, with any branch, release a novel into the world of hardcover. Your novels will be successful.
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The appearance on the site of a full-scale story is not an ordinary phenomenon. It would not be fair to ignore him. The transition of the author from stories about perverts playing puppet masters and slaves to the canvas about the most real masters and slaves is a matter of respect. It turned out a very interesting near-historical fantasy. I will not dare to complete the analysis, for this desire alone is not enough. Only briefly express the impression. In general, it is positive. Your advantages: a bright and colorful image of the main character and well-described scenes of battles and fights. I think the latest decoration of the story. Much strained when reading :. Sex scenes are often prolonged; loss of dynamics in this process = loss of interest. And when describing the merchant Liska, these scenes came out completely vile; I understand that he has such an image, but nevertheless, for me sex and an abomination never coexist. A little strained exaggerations with the weight of the weapon, 30-40 kg, an obvious bust, except to refer it to the category of artistic exaggeration. Moreover, I see that the author understands the weapon. Strained through the mind, the ideal emperor-right grandfather Lenin came down from the pedestal. For me, solid orgies were very unpleasant where necessary and not necessary. I understand that they symbolized the collapse of the empire, but still ...
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“And when describing the merchant Liska, these scenes were completely vile; I understand that he has such an image, but nevertheless, for me sex and an abomination never coexist. ”- you yourself answered your own question - such an image.
“I strained the ideal emperor — straight grandfather Lenin came off the pedestal.” - thanks, I tried.
The rest - I will consider, thank you for the detailed review.
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I read all three parts incessantly ... THANK YOU to the author for such a lovely * fairy tale * ... create it!
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I have been reading stories on this site for quite a long time, but for the first time I wanted to register to leave a comment ...
The story really "clings", 32 pages are read almost in one breath.
The only thing that was somewhat upset in the 3rd part is that Lin is practically absent in it - perhaps the only one of the first 2 parts that caused sympathy.
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And for some reason I feel sorry for Diana and Larisa from the Hask family. They simply took advantage of it and threw it out. But about them, for some reason, no one even remembered.
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Specially registered to leave a comment.
Great series of stories. From this you can make a series of novels with your universe. On the 3 parts do not need to definitely. Keep writing.
Walk on the minuses, from the point of view of criticism is more important:
- Too long sex scenes. Better often, but shorter. Do not make Alexander a marathon runner who has sex for 5 hours. To nothing. And not all girls can experience more than 1 orgasm, and more than 2-3 in general, I think, few.
- Do not idealize the main character too much. He must have cons. And not only the main thing: all the characters should have both pluses and minuses. Ideals even sympathize somehow harder.
- It is in vain in the third part forgot about Lina. The character is very interesting.
- It is clear that debauchery is a symbol of the expansion of the empire, but here it is too much. When everyone goes almost naked and fucked at every turn, sex ceases to be something intimate and ceases to excite. In the whole empire, it seems, only Vladimir is not comfortable in people to fuck.
Well and on trifles: too much the word "lust" - catches the eye; Russian is not perfect, although not so bad.
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klassnyi u vas kommentariy
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1. "Too prolonged sex scenes." I can write them less, I can remove them altogether, but in this case my creations will not appear on this site at all.
2. "Do not idealize the protagonist too much." It is a pity that you did not see his drawbacks. In the fourth part I will place special emphasis on his uncompromising and notorious "sense of duty" and "military honor."
3. “It was in vain in the third part that they forgot about Lina.” The writing question stood like this - take half of it to her or Katerina. Enter unnecessary scenes did not want.
4. "When everyone goes almost naked and fucked at every turn, sex ceases to be something intimate and ceases to excite." Familiarize yourself with the customs of ancient civilizations. It seems to me that I have described it quite gently.
In general, I thank for the criticism, I will take into account for the future.
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1) Sex does not interfere with the story and should be on the subject of the site. I meant that they should be made a little shorter, but the number increased. The overall volume will remain the same, but the sex scenes will no longer be tiring.
2) I had in mind the obvious drawbacks, we can say the evils that occur in real people. Greed, temper and so on. And lack of compromise is a minus for a ruler, an aristocrat, yes, but no more.
4) I am approximately familiar with the mores of ancient civilizations. But the story is written in the 21st century for the readers of the 21st century and does not pretend to historical accuracy.
It is nice to see the author, who writes very interesting, and perceives criticism adequately. Rare, especially for similar sites. Write more!
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Scenes of sex, in fact, sometimes even excessive. It is possible and less. In addition, you are mistaken that without them, your creation will not appear on the site. At least in the past, great stories were completely missed to publication with 1-2 erotic scenes and categorization as “the rest”
P. S. Written just fine. It is a pity that the stories of this level - once or twice and miscalculated.
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klassnyi rasskaz nakonec-to vylojili 3 chastè. hotelosè by chtoby bylo napisano pobolwe o Line. i u vas zdorovo poluchaetsya. znaniya russkogo yazyka u vas estè)
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cool story in all respects.
but I will probably give a couple of critical comments - the scenes of the battles are too detailed. True, the dynamics seem to be there, and the details, and knowledge of the subject - but leafed through - for the result is predictable.
Actually the second drawback is the invincibility of GG. Wherever you spit - he drew his sword and cut it into sausage. By the second part I wrote that undercover intrigues were more interesting, especially along with erotica.
in spite of all the above, both this and previous stories are awesome. exciting and keeping in tension. write further, dear sear!
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Hello! Honestly resisted the temptation to register), the battle ... lost). Oh, sooo wanted to say to the author, Bravo! All the scenes, and sex, and battles, and intrigue ... are proportional. The story, exciting and read in one breath! Definitely, I want to see a sequel).
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And they went down to the banal fantasy cheap stuff that digital libraries are teeming with ... What is in the 4th part? Morag-Bat will come down from heaven and ask Alexander to become his earthly avatar? Oh, those little men with big complexes ...
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Good exciting story. Read in one breath. Write how to spell.and any comments with the wishes of the plot will only prevent inspiration. Always someone like one thing, and someone else. No need to write, adapting to the readers. The story is extraordinary.
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Very interesting story, please write a sequel. Of the female characters only Lina liked. Very easy to read.
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So sorry that the tale is over ... I really want to continue, the author. I look forward to the continuation !!!
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Author do not get lost =) Everyone is waiting for the continuation!
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I still think about the question “should I?” So that, apparently, you will have to wait a long time.
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Loved all 3 parts. Since I am a fan of utopias (attempts to present an almost perfect state in the pages of the book), this work was read thoughtfully and with ecstasy.
Dear author, if you are interested, you can read the Gray Sword work by Iar Elterrus. Something your state resembles his book (I do not in any way hint at the "strennost").
In general - above all praise. looking forward to continue.
Py, Sy. One of the authors of the books that I read resorted to an interesting point: a description of the weapon (brief characteristics, pros and cons, personal opinion). If interested, it would be interesting to see a slightly more detailed description of the weapons used. After all, the same Claymore has its own history =))
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Super)) Reduce the sex scenes, give some smoothness to the plot and the dynamics of the characters of the characters - great book will work! Although, as a porno-story, the work has fully justified itself.
Special thanks to the author for the reservation about the absence of any claims to historicity - after it everything read smoothly and without (as it often happens) an ardent desire to give the author a couple of textbooks, but as a fairy tale)))))
Thank you very much)
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For those who want to follow my work I started a diary.
sear21. livejournal. com
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How to type the address of the diary? At the specified does not find.
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Go to livejournal. com and do a search on the alias.
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I expected Lina to stop being a slave! (Sorry for Lina ...
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CONTINUED !!! I read voraciously all three parts)) I will copy everything into one file and will re-read my mood as one of my favorite books!
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Great story. The author, and you did not think about writing a whole novel or a story on this world, without sexual overtones?
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