"... They lived happily ever after, and died on the same day." These words ended the next novel.

- Yo fuck! Nahuymudoebat! ... - the book flew to the floor, sprawling pink cover up. Petraha threw it so that the sofa swayed with a jerk.

Loy Petraha, Tyschka Glavnishchi * khaernskogo garrison, hated pink novels. He hated love snot, hated romance, ahs, ooh and sweet happy ending. And it was completely incomprehensible why he avidly read these novels, having read almost all that were in the garrison library.
_________________________
* Military rank, roughly corresponding to our lieutenant general. - approx. auth.

However, today he was in a bad mood. Wow: this bullshit coincided with his service on Hyerne. And today he will lead it. Nahuypizdomudoblyuperebeat! ..

According to the laws of the Empire, every two years in every district where the garrison was stationed, an event was held, which was officially called the Rejuvenation of the Nation, and among the people, Soldiers Hue or Devkina Death. On this day, all the girls of the district, regardless of whether they had a boyfriend, were forcibly taken to the garrison and were given to the amusement of soldiers, who poured into them liters of stagnant lust.

For this purpose, special constructions were built - long rows of a variety of booths, called “fuckers”. In each "ebalke" stood something like a gynecological chair, in which the girl was fixed, previously stripped naked. Her arms and legs were fixed with snaps, her thighs were uncoiled to the sides, and the girl was lying with a frog, pulling her cunt out for general use. The height of "ebalki" was regulated so that each seedman could lift and lower the girl to the level of his dick. One girl usually had from three to ten soldiers, but there were more.

Thus, the Empire tried to maintain the birth rate, which was already falling steadily: in youth get-togethers it was considered indecent and stupid to have children. Pregnant women, who were called pizdobryuhimi, were obstructed and sat under house arrest, fearing the attack of Gopniks, who had ripped open their stomachs. All this was going on, however, in large cities, and in the backwoods like Hyern life was lazy, as in ancient times, and Soldier Dick was a shock that hurt throughout the colony.

The girl's suitability for the Soldier's Huy was determined at a physical examination. Any healthy, bodily ripened girl, regardless of age, was considered suitable; only pregnant and infectious were considered unfit. Legal marriage saved a soldier from Huy only if a woman had at least one child, or if she was married for no more than a year. Considering that marriages were as unpopular as pregnancy (besides getting a marriage license cost a lot of bribes), at least 95% of girls and women under 30 were doomed to Soldier's Dick. About 25 percent of them became pregnant, and half of them safely gave birth to new loyal subjects of the Empire; the rest either used abortions, strictly forbidden (however, the girl who underwent an abortion was considered a heroine and enjoyed all kinds of respect at parties), or gave birth to the dead, or died themselves.

Of course, there was an abundant zakos practice from Soldier Huy - from fake marriages to bribes, simulations and even self-defenses. There were also girls who were waiting for the Soldier Huya as a holiday (and they, too, enjoyed great respect).

Petraha, as Tyschas-Glavnishcha, could only manage the organization of the Soldier Hui, but could not cancel it. Even the head of his boss, His Strength, U-567 District Hyper-Chief, Orlan Khlamohil, could not cancel the Soldier's Dick, conducted within the framework of the state program and subordinated only to Star Council.

At the thought of endless crowds of naked girls, distraught from fear and shame, screaming, shouting, howling under the pressure of the soldiers' fuckers, Petraha cursed so much that he was surprised at himself. Swearing was considered the main chic of the warriors, and without the flowery seven-story he was like that without a uniform. Famously, having thrown his foot in the shoebox on an antique buffet, presented to him by some kind of an ankle, Petraha felt for a samograyku, hit the strings and hoarsely tightened:

- Do lukomudya fuck ebeny,
Golden stick on huya tom.
Day and night louse pussy
Huyachit on dick around.
Right-handed mate covers,
Left - "fuck" says.
There is a fuck: there is a virgin howls,
The whore on sits ...

It was an old song that was bawled by more than one generation of warriors of the Empire. They said that it was written on Earth, almost in the XXII or even in the XXI century - by the great poet Mushkin, or Kopushkin, or Ebushkin - dick knows him, flew out of his head ...

Petraha forcefully strung up the strings, threw a self-backing card behind his back and lay back on the sofa. His hand reached over the jacket and felt there the coveted cylinder, which he always carried with him, not knowing why ...

***

Petraha did not tell anyone about this, not even his drinking companions.

He found him in the wilderness, with a broken graviplane. The accident happened a long time ago, perhaps before the conquest of Hyern, and the young Petrakha, then still an ordinary centurion, famously whistled, pushing the ancient technique with his foot.

It was then that his boot and knocked out of the dusty piles of duralumin a small silver cylinder with colored buttons.

Petraha thoughtfully picked it up. The thing was clearly alien. Struggling with the temptation to press the buttons, Petraha felt that one of two things would happen now: either he would press, or he would die of curiosity. Finding the first outcome more worthy of a brave soldier, he closed his eyes and poked his fingernail into the big red button.

... And he grunted in amazement: the space around him suddenly became blurred, swam, wasted where it was, and in its place something completely different was woven: the blue, delightfully colorful, with trees, flowers, sweet clean air and a cute little house with a red roof.

Petraha stood with his mouth open and did not know what to think, do and say. “Fuck your mother,” he said, with a mature thought, scratching his head. Near the house a pretty old woman in a kerchief worked with a chopper. Seeing Petraha, she threw up her hands and headed towards him.

- ...? She asked. - ...?

Petraha did not immediately realize that she speaks in his language, the Great-Mighty Language of the Empire, only highly distorted. It was some kind of dialect he had never heard.

- What? He asked.
- Teleportator? Did you get a teleportator? - asked the old woman. Petraha guessed that this is the name of the thing he was holding.
- Yes ... Probably ... Where am I? ..

It was all a dream. The old woman took him to the house, treated him with tea and cakes, was gentle and gentle with him, even if he applied to the wound, and Petraha bathed in this unexpected dream, like in chocolate. The old woman told him: since he, Petraha, was here, he must have been caught by the teleporter of one of her late sons who died on the other side of the Galaxy. He, Petraha, himself looks like her sons, Shuha and Brazdan, the old woman repeated, and she would like him to stay here with her. She doesn't force him on anything, but ...

"How do I get home?" - asked Petraha.

The old woman took the teleportator from him, turned it in her hands and said: “There is enough energy for three throws. You can go home, then come back, then home again. Or, if you want, bring someone with you. Then the transfer will be considered for two ... Just press this button, and you're at home. Stay still, do not leave immediately, stay at least briefly ... ”

And Petraha stayed. He spent three days in this fairy tale, where there were no wars, barracks, deserts, mud, and smelly footcloths, but there was clean blue air, greenery, silence, and affectionate grandmother Ladna feeding her pies.

“You will come back here,” she told him goodbye. - My house will be waiting for you.

That was fourteen years ago.Petraha did not dare to spend the last transfer until he realized that Grandma Ladna was probably no longer alive, and he ...