A gray-haired old man was sitting alone on a bench in the park, his chin on his worn walking stick. Cheerful young people, mummies with strollers, couples in love passed by the companies one by one. Life was in full swing. A fine day pleased the gentle sun and calm. But nothing pleased the old man. In his eyes reflected only universal sadness and longing ...

Today it is exactly 2 years since his Manyuni passed away. So affectionately, he called his deceased wife, with whom he lived in perfect harmony for nearly 60 years. She died quietly in her bed. She just fell asleep in the evening, habitually having kissed him on the nose for the night, and did not wake up any more. She was tired of living for a long time and waited for her death. A week before she died, she wrote him a letter, sealed it in an envelope and asked her to open it when it happened. Or not open at all.

- I am guilty before you. Forgive me if you can, ”she added a strange phrase.

The old man did not read the letter after the funeral, or later. He was indifferent to what his betrayed was to blame. He forgave her everything in advance. But today, sorting out with tears in her eyes the things so dear to his heart, I came across that same envelope and opened it. Inside was a sheet, written in a trembling senile hand and dripped with tears.

"My dear Konik ..."

This ridiculous tender nickname she gave him shortly after their acquaintance. For his manner, laugh out loud and jerky. Yes, and then called without strangers until the very end.

“... We lived with you for a very long time. Almost 60 years. For some, it's a lifetime. For me, this was all life. We had everything, but now I don’t remember anything bad. Most importantly, I always knew that you love me, and I love you. But there is one thing that I cannot carry with me to my grave ... ”

What the old man read below made his heart ache from pain. But not from what he learned. "Why? Why didn't she tell me earlier ?! How could she carry it all her life ?! Poor Manyunya ... Was she afraid that I would not forgive her? ”

* * *

He met her in this very park. On Saturday, returning with friends after work, he first saw her. Joyful, blooming, in a merry waving chintz dress, with two perky pigtails and a cute snub nose. She skipped toward them and smiled at all the opposite faces. He froze, seeing her for the first time, and then watched for a long time. He started to tease his friends, he said firmly then: “She will be my wife!”

Later, he came to this alley every day to see her again. And exactly one week later he was lucky. She was put down by some grief, but her tear-stained face still seemed to him the most beautiful in the world. He blocked her way and looked intently into her eyes, which had suddenly become frightened. He wanted to say a lot to her, but having drowned in those eyes, all the words for him suddenly seemed so insignificant and empty that they lost all meaning. Instead of them, what he really wanted most of all in life fell from the tongue:

- Girl, I really ... really like you! Marry me! - and he carefully took her by the elbows.

She did not break away, did not run away, but for a long time and somehow strangely looked at him. And then suddenly she smiled, sniffed, wiped a tear that ran down her cheek and asked:

- What is your name?

- S-Seryozh ...

- And me - Marina. I agree, Serezha.

“What was it like if not love at first sight? True love! And haven't they proved it for many years? ”So the old man thought to this day. But in the morning he found out that it was not love that made Manyunya say yes. And despair. That day, she realized that she was carrying a baby under her heart. The child of the man whom she loved with all her heart, and who simply abandoned her. Disappeared. Without a trace. Just passed through a work colleague some strange note and that's it!

The heart again reminded of itself with a sharp prick of pain. “Did she really think that I would stop treating Natasha like my daughter? What nonsense! She is my daughter! And the point! Who took her from the hospital? Who did not sleep at night? Who carried her, wrapped in a sheepskin coat, to the district hospital for five kilometers through a snowstorm and frost? Who took her to first grade? Stupid ... Stupid! ”

They had a wedding in a week. Then it was easy. Only their friends gathered. Everyone brought what he could: liquor, snacks, pickles ... The feast was poor, but insanely fun. And how could it be otherwise when everyone is young and healthy, when the country threw off the heavy shackles of the war years and walked with wide strides towards a happy future?

The newlyweds had nowhere to live, but did it worry them then? Friends generously released room for them in a working dormitory for a whole week. Real mansions! The old man remembered bringing a young wife there after the festival.

That night, a week after they met, everything happened for the first time. Marina carefully closed the curtains and asked to turn off the lights. They sat side by side on a creaking iron bed and were silent for a long time, not daring to speak and even touch each other. Finally he dared to hug her around the waist. Marina immediately put her head on his shoulder, leaning his whole body.

“I'm scared,” she said softly.

- Do you have it for the first time?

- No ... That's why it's scary. Do you want me to tell?

- I do not want. I don't want to know anything. Never! It does not matter. I love you!

She did not answer anything. Did she love him? Then probably not. The wound was still too fresh. Sergey first heard her confession much later. Already after the birth of Natasha. That day he came home from work dirty and tired. Manyunya met him extremely agitated. As soon as he crossed the threshold, she threw herself on his neck and began passionately to kiss his soiled face. And then ... Then she said THE MOST words ... The old man smiled and again transferred his thoughts to their first wedding night.

Marina took off her dress herself. Just took and removed. And then she laughed for a long time at the groom's awkward attempts to cope with the buttons of her satin bra. Sergey's hands refused to obey. His heart pounded wildly. The body of his beloved was so close, so desirable, but these damned buttons ...! Finally, she took pity on him. Burst out of his hands and groped for the switch. A bright light flashed to the pain.

- I want you to see me! All over!

She put her hands behind her back, and after a moment the hated bra flew to the floor. Then Marina in one motion pulled off her fads, straightened and spread her arms to the side, remaining completely naked. He looked with admiration at the curves of her chiseled figure, on her high breasts with pale pink nipples sticking to the side, her pubis covered with curly hairs. She obviously expected that he too would be exposed before her, but he could not. Removing only his shirt, he continued to banish more banal! Boy! Sergey rushed to the opposite wall, turned off the light and grabbed his wife in his arms. And he kissed ... It was the first real kiss in his life. Not shyly crumpled kiss, as with a classmate under the school stairs. Not that timid - with a girl with whom he walked in a pheasant. And not at all the same as they exchanged with his wife after the cries of "bitter." It was a real passionate love kiss. From such legs weaken, confused thoughts and mixed feelings. Then, for the first time in his life, his hand lay on an uncovered girl's breast. Squeezing this elastic warm flesh, kissing his beloved on the lips, clinging to her hot naked body, Sergey lost a sense of the reality of what is happening. He did not remember how he got rid of his clothes, how he fell with Marina on the bed, pushing the net almost to the floor. I did not remember how I was on top, how long I could not get into such a desirable fold, and how I finally got. Or missed. Or is it Marinkin's hand sent him to the right place.

Sergey shamefully finished almost the same ...