“What did the savings bank decide with the robbery?”

- The case is entrusted to the Fools

“What other“ fools ”?” - the general for the first time looked away from the folder lying in front of him and looked menacingly at the speaker over the top of his glasses.

“So we have the best operative-investigation team among us, comrade major general.” By the first letters of the names. Major Durov, captain Raskatov, our best operative and expert Kiparisova Larisa Pavlovna. "Fools" is obtained.

- In your madhouse only fools and work, Colonel! But this is your business, whom to appoint. Bear in mind, for the investigation of the robbery answer shoulder straps, I understand?

- Yes, Comrade General!

“The case is under control there,” the general pointedly pointed out with a finger as thick as a sausage into the cracked white ceiling.

- I understood. Allow me to go?

- Go. Tomorrow morning, waiting for the preliminary results. And the last ... Cadets tomorrow from the police school will arrive at the Office for an internship. Attach someone there to your Fools. Let them learn.

- There is!

* * *

Major Durov again meticulously examined his reflection in the mirror and adjusted the already immaculate styling, after which he deigned to pay attention to the patiently waiting subordinates

- When will the weather be normal? With this wind on the hair so much time goes, and yet you have to work! The colonel is waiting for results by 19.00. He will report to the general tomorrow. What is there with us?

Captain Nikolai Raskatov opened the shabby notebook and began:

- The overall picture is about clear, comrade major. Yesterday at 19:53 a man entered the savings bank. The operator Simonov told him that after seven minutes the savings bank is closed and no longer serves customers. Unknown took out a 17th century silicon fuzey edge with a caliber of 20 millimeters ...

- Where does such accuracy come from?

“He left her at the crime scene, Comrade Major.” I continue?

Durov nodded, simultaneously removing a speck of dust from his tunic

- ... So, I took out the edge of the fusea and, having instructed him on the operator Simonov, demanded money. The rest of the savings bank employees he ordered to stand facing the wall and not move. The operator Simonov put the money in the amount of 7 thousand 836 rubles into the white package transferred by the criminal with a blue image of the Peter and Paul Cathedral in Leningrad ...

“And everything got in?” The major was surprised.

- climbed.

- It is necessary to conduct an investigative experiment and find out whether such a sum can really fit in the package. Are you sure that the cashier staff pocketed nothing?

- Checked already, up to 10,000 intermeddle.

- Hmm ... Good package. Farther!

- ... Put the money and handed the offender. At that moment, Kuryakin’s senior cameraman stirred, and an unknown person shot in her direction ...

- Nervous something?

- No, no! Described. And she moved because of the state of discomfort arising in connection with this.

- Got it?

“So this is an ancient fuzey, Comrade Major.” She has a scatter and in good condition - hoo, and here is a crop. He hit the wall 29 centimeters above Kuryakina’s head.

- That is, no one was hurt? Why then the case was transferred to us? We are not engaged in this nonsense!

- That's not all. The fact is that the savings bank is located on the 1st floor of a residential building. And in the adjacent apartment there is a cat.

- What the fuck is a cat?

- Usual. Gray, striped. Nickname "Neutron"

- Why did “Neutron” find out?

- Yes sir. Because it was fat.

- Are the neutrons thick or what?

- I can not know, Comrade Major. But you can make a request to the Academy of Sciences.

- Later. So what's up with the cat?

- The cat was sitting on the cabinet by the wall adjacent to the savings bank. Around the place where the bullet hit. Frightened by a blow to the wall, the cat jumped from the closet on the head of a citizen Polovinkina. She was in a room with her roommate, previously convicted, citizen Zyryanov. Well ... in general, Zyryanov died.

- No shit I do not understand! Why died ?!

- Spicy moment, Comrade Major.Here the lady, - Raskatov turned his head toward Larisa Kiparisova

“Not a lady, but a forensic expert!” Speak!

- In general, at the time of the shot, Polovinkina’s citizen had an unnatural sexual relationship with citizen Zyryanov, who was in direct contact with the victim’s sexual organ and Polovinkina’s oral cavity. When a cat landed with the claws released on Polovinkina’s head, the latter instinctively clenched its jaws and ... bit off Zyryanov’s sexual organ. After which she fell into the heat of passion, and citizen Zyryanov, who had previously been convicted ...

- For what, by the way?

- Article 156. He traded herring and weighed the buyer at 850 grams, and that turned out to be an employee of OBKHSS. The herring was confiscated as a material evidence in the case, but deteriorated even before the trial.

- Ah, I remember this thing! I then just went to OBKHSS to a friend. The vonische in their building was like that, even though the saints were taken out. So what about Zyryanov?

- He died of blood loss. Polovinkina arrested on charges of manslaughter and abandonment.

- And the cat?

- What is a cat, comrade major?

- Well, someone else lives in that apartment?

- No, no!

- And who will feed the cat? Die, poor fellow!

- Kota was sheltered by a senior citizen Zyryanova.

- Same name?

- The wife of the deceased, comrade major. She, by the way, immediately renamed the cat Vaska.

- Why?

- The victim was called Basil.

- Hmm. A strange way to honor memory.

“I talked to her,” Larisa joined, “She explains her act by being used to it when Vasya is around and now everything will be the same in her life.” She has not had sexual intercourse with her dead husband for more than a year, and she will not have a new Vasya either. But unlike the old Vasya, the new one will not change. In addition, the cat is also neutered.

The major laughed, but quickly took on a serious look.

- Let's get back to business. Signs of a criminal known?

“Not much,” replied Kiparisova, “A gray rubberized raincoat, a black hat, black glasses, wearing woolen gloves, and black rubber boots with the words“ SES ”written on them. And it smelled of either dust or carbofos ...

- Karbofos? Well, this is irrelevant. Farther!

- After the shot, the entire room of the savings bank was filled with smoke, and when it dispersed, the robber was no longer there.

- The alarm button is not used?

- It was not, Comrade Major. The head of the savings bank, citizen Lipatov, arbitrarily dismantled it more than a month ago.

- What for?

- For use as a doorbell in their new co-operative apartment. The case is excited.

- Do you have any clues on the gray cloak?

- Yes sir! On the counter were found two villi from robber gloves. Now in the lab. The guys promised to make a conclusion in an hour.

- And it's all?

- Yes sir!

- Yes-a ... Difficult little thing. What are we still doing, by the way?

- The robbery of the weapons department of the local history museum the day before yesterday and the statement by a certain Filippova about the disappearance of her husband. Husband - disinfector city sanitary epidemiological station, went 3 days ago to poison the mice in the same local history museum and disappeared. At work also didn't appear, - Raskat reported

- You can think about combining these two cases ...

- Yes sir!

- But in any case - it does not matter now! Will wait. All efforts focus on savings bank! Captain, work out the savings bank staff. Perhaps there are accomplices, gunners. Start with this, like hers, Kuryakina. It is possible that she was described for eye removal.

- I thought about it too. There is!

- And you, Larissa, how will you get the results, do the villi. If you need to - interact. To perform!

Nikolay and Larisa stretched out into a string, clearly turned around and left the office. And Major Durov finally got the opportunity to take care of himself. He took a file out of the desk drawer and began to carefully work out the thumbnail on his left hand. It was reassuring, but one thought ...