“Why,” she asked him, “why have you changed so much?” What happened?

“Nothing,” Deutsch said indifferently.

He ate potatoes. Golden slices emitted a delicate smell, he punctured them with a fork one by one and sent them into his mouth. Sometimes he picked up a thick dark green cucumber lying on the edge of a plate and bit off it. He looked focused.

She suddenly felt an acute attack of hatred. She could not understand what has changed since they broke up two and a half years ago. It was clear then that they loved each other - so it seemed to her, and nothing in the world could change that. Eternal love — every day, every hour, always, until death do them part. One year in the army, six terrible months that Deutsch spent in the disciplinary battalion for something she still didn’t know about, another six months in the army, and half a year nobody knows where she lived in agony every day, waiting for him to return . No fun, dancing and boys. Many months were locked up, when she was afraid even for a second to think about what her dear Victor, her boyfriend, could regard as betrayal.

One day, Victor returned. Darkened face and indifferent eyes. He jumped from the footboard of the carriage, holding a suitcase in one hand and a half-empty bottle of beer in the other, greeted his father and nodded to her - “Hello, Svetka” - as if he was leaving for a day on a business trip. He smelled badly of alcohol. Quite, not at all, she represented this meeting in her dreams.

There was another reason she felt offended. Two and a half years ago, he deprived her of virginity. It happened on his wires. In the evening, when the guests parted, he told her for a long time how he loved her, they kissed, she cried from the grief of parting, and then he threw her on the bed, pulled off her tights and panties, and took her rudely and painfully. This memory was withered in her memory, and a year later it seemed to her that it was essentially a gentle and sublime act, as if there were no purple drops of blood on the sheet, her choking cry, and unbearable pain when it was hard, like a stone, huge what she had never suspected - a member tore to a chaff and tormented her insides for several terrible minutes.

“Vitya, my dear,” she told him at the station, crying from her feelings. And something broke in her chest when she felt his heavy look.

“My name is Deutsch,” she heard. - Clear? - And he turned away, continuing the conversation started with his father.

They lived in different parts of the village, on different streets. She followed him and his parents to their home, and until late in the evening sat at a feast in honor of his return. Victor drank a lot, but did not get drunk, as far as she could tell. For all this time they have not exchanged a few words. In the evening, everyone began to disperse, Victor disappeared somewhere, as it turned out, went to sleep. He did not even say goodbye to her then. It was like a nightmare. She wandered home, and wept half the night, buried in a pillow. And in the morning, like a magnet, she was drawn to him again.

“Something was going to happen,” she said wistfully. - What?

“Could you shut up?” - He objected, chewing.

And she shut up, gasping in indignation. Something prevented her from running out, slamming the door. Before her sat a strangely changed, but dear and beloved person.

He ate potatoes, and began to lick the remaining fat with a crust of bread. Shivering, she watched him. Wrinkles appeared on Victor's forehead - they were not there before. His eyes sunk deep, his face darkened, there was a small pink scar on his chin.

He otrygnul gently, and pushed the plate aside. - Well, so what do you want?

“Vitya,” she began, and he interrupted her.

“I told you how to call me.”

“Deutsch ...” she said uncertainly. - So strange ... Where did this name come from?

“That's what my friends call me.” Clear?

She nodded nervously, though she was no longer clear.

“You haven't returned for so long.” Vick ... - she faltered.- Deutsch. I was worried. You did not write for so long - she could not stand it, and her eyes filled with moisture. She remembered that he stopped writing almost immediately after the start of the service. She heard all the news about him from his parents, and still could not understand and forgive this insensitivity.

“I didn't give a shit,” Deutsch said evenly. His gaze was on her, a glassy, ​​unblinking gaze. In the kitchen where they were, it was very warm, but she suddenly felt the icy cold getting under her dress.

- Why? She asked stupidly.

- Because you're a fool, stupid.

She sat as if stunned.

“What are you saying,” she said in horror. - Are you kidding...

- What the ... I joke, - Deutsch stood up. - Look yourself. Until twenty years, she sat up in this fucking village. You will spend your whole life, become obese like a pig, and your children will be the same. Pigs are blunt. - In his eyes gleamed a strange light of fun.

It seemed to her that the world had gone mad. She sobbed loudly, uncontrollably, covering her hands. Ink flowed, dyeing fingers. - Bastard, - she said through tears, - what a bastard you are.

“Do not cry, you fool,” Deutsch said calmly.

“You, you ...” she gasped, she shouted, “you cannot live with this any further!” You can not ...

- What? - he said indifferently.

She took a sob for the last time, rose awkwardly, and rushed to the exit. Following it, she heard:

- In kind, stupid ...

Reaching home, she locked herself in her room, and began to search for sleeping pills. She threw the medicine box on the floor, selected two shiny leaves, squeezed the capsules in her palm, and began to swallow one at a time. Her mouth was dry, the pills stuck to her tongue, she helped herself with a finger, she choked them until she was muddied. There was a ring in the ears.

She fell on the bed, face down, clung to the pillow with her teeth and waited for death, determined to leave here forever, unless, of course, she died.

She fell asleep without taking off her clothes.

It was already late evening, when there was an insistent knock on the window. Still sleepy, the girl rose from the bed, turned on the nightlight, and asked in a weak voice:

- Who's there?

“I,” came the voice that filled her soul with horror and anger.

“Get out,” she answered firmly. - I do not want to talk to you.

“Me too,” she heard. - I'm on another case. Open it, it's quick.

She found an eclipse. She felt that she was acting like a fool, but some force carried her into the hallway. Not turning on the light, she threw off the hook on the front door, freezing from anticipation.

The door swung open. He stood on the threshold. In the dark, she could not see her face, but for some reason it seemed to her that he was smiling.

“Come in,” she said wistfully.

He closed the door behind him.

- Why did you come? - her voice trembled.

“Come to you,” he said.

She missed him ahead.

By the light of a night light, she saw his face, and her heart began to beat. He smiled.

“You know, girlfriend,” he said, “I thought for a while.”

“I don't want to talk to you,” she said firmly. - You are real cattle. After all that we had ...

“Um, you,” he replied, grinning. - I had a bad mood. Are you offended?

She choked with anger.

- Get out. ...