Hello! Today our story will be about secretaries, or in Latin “homo secretaries”. This species is found in our fauna from time immemorial.

The main function of the secretaries is to keep the secrets of their master. Previously, the secretaries were mostly male secretaries, but due to the feminization of our fauna, they are increasingly being replaced by females. Now the secretarial females have captured almost all the feeders, and this is understandable because they eat less and are more beautiful than the males. Only endangered species such as the “secretariate safety council” and the “pres secretary presidentus” remained. But these troughs soon will likely be captured by pretty females. Sometimes, due to the unfavorable influence of the external environment, expressed in fear of losing the favorite feeding bowl, the secretaries mutate into a less common form of homo secretutus.

But for our zoology, this subspecies is most interesting. In addition to the main functions inherited from the secretaries, the “secretutuses” also have new ones, such as pumping out excess protein from the host using coitus, or even minetus. Many researchers suggest that in a short time, “secretuits” will force out “the secretaries” from our Russian fauna, as they are more adapted to market nature, or in Latin, “Oscalus capitalismus”. Many zoologists are interested in the population of "secretutus" males, before the "secretutus" males were practically not found on our open spaces, but now thanks to the opening of the iron curtain from hostile ecosystems, dangerous bacteria have been entered, or in Latin, "bacillus prostitutionum". head maladjusted representatives of the Soviet reserve, forcing them to trade their own body. These bacteria also affect males, but because of their actions, other males begin to despise and expel them from their flock. Usually, the males who fought off the flock find shelter in special nurseries - “geyklubusy”, some people are fed up by compassionate people, later they become their masters, and if they are very lucky they can become hostesses. This is where our program ends. See you again!