Dear friends, how can we determine our desires and not lose in choosing a partner?

Let's first find out who is who? And we are sharing my dear bdsmchiki on

Tops or top as you like.

Bots or lower. And switch partners.

Top is the dominant partner. In BDSM practices, it is the top that plays the role of a sadist and master, and that says it all.

A bot, a lower one or a submissive, whoever you like, all these concepts mean only one thing that they all play the role of a slave (slave) subordinate to the dominant who fulfill his whims and desires.

Switch-takes a rather ambiguous role in BDSM, he (she) can occupy both the upper role and the lower role, most often women play such a role, with one partner they can be Bot Scientifically, there is no psychology; with life it is possible that mood swings and emotional instability are possible. In the BDSM community, at one time, considerable controversy flared up over this role, and the majority came to the conclusion that, all the same, in its psychology, a person cannot be a switch. I think this is a controversial statement.

Tops themselves are divided into the following categories, sadists, ladies or gentlemen.

Sadists are the most serious group in the whole subject of bdsm. The sadist is different from all the others by the fact that they take pleasure in inflicting pain on another person (Mazu).

Namely, a sadist can get an incredibly strong excitement in the process of inflicting pain on a partner, or experience a strong orgasm from inflicting pain, inconvenience and fear of a partner; He caused Mazu and received himself.

Generally sadists are much more than masochists, as a result of which many sadists for a long time cannot find a partner for themselves.

Researches in the USA have shown sadists about 2%, and sadists 5%. among the general population, women with sexual sadism prefer mental suffering and humiliation, men are more prone to physical effects. Who and how to check it I do not know.

For the first time the concept of sadism was introduced in 1886 by Richard von Kraft-Ebing - a German psychologist. The scientist referred to the Marquis de Sade, a French writer, philosopher and politician. It was he who often used pain and humiliation to other people for sexual satisfaction, and described it in his books. The most famous works of Marquis de Sade "Justine",

It is often a problem that a sadist, realizing his inclinations, but under the weight of morality imposed by society and family, or simply frightened by his inclinations, crushes them in himself, believing that this will take place over the years, but the unrealized sexual energy has nowhere to go if they give an outlet through sex, she herself finds an outlet into society through the family, the work is a different occupation of a person, as a result it is often the case that innocent people really suffer from such people.

Take for example the maniacs who committed crimes on sexual grounds, as forensic psychiatry tells us, most of them had been crushed from a young age by sexual atypical inclinations close to what we call sadomasov to one degree or another

At some point, as they say, their sexual energy found a way out in the most disgusting way, and they can’t stop themselves, as they explain to psychiatrists that when they commit such crimes, they experience incredible sexual pleasure, without which some lose their ability to erection,

Of course the topic of BDSM has nothing to do with maniacs and is based on the principles of voluntariness, security and rationality.

But the principle of realization of suppressed sexual energy is the same; for others, it is simply expressed differently.

For example, in masochists, unrealized sexual energy can flow into the syndrome of deliberate injury to oneself, they can cut themselves, cut, pinch or beat themselves to bruises, this almost does not lead to suicide but very often leads people to a psychiatric clinic. Among men, this disease is less common than among women.

It is noteworthy that among women almost always, to some extent, sadistic inclinations go beyond the theme of a family into work, which is most likely due to the fact that women are more emotional.

All mistress and gentlemen can be divided into two camps.

The first serous themes of the dominant have chosen permanent thematic relations with a partner in the style of Lifestyle is translated as "lifestyle" or "lifestyle". From this it is easy to understand that we are talking about permanent (24/7–24 hours a day, 7 days a week) BDSM relationships, including psychological, domestic, sexual, and many other aspects, I think it is not necessary to say that partnership equality in such relationships are not and cannot be, these are relationships that are not limited in time and cover all aspects of life,

In this case, Top or Master, as it is called in such situations, has all rights in relation to Bot, and Bot has the only right to remove the collar and leave this Master, without the right to ask for the resumption of relations. Such attitudes impose a huge responsibility both on Top, since in his actions in relation to his Bot he is not limited by anything other than his own mind, and on Both, since transferring all rights to himself and giving himself over to another person needs to realize the possible consequences in case of an error in the choice of the candidacy of the Master.

In such relationships, they can be present as elements of sadism, masochism, various fetishes, but the main emphasis is of course placed on complete control of the life of the bot and his upbringing under a certain Top (Masters), but I’ll say from my own experience that such serious masters in Russia can be counted ready for such a relationship even less because here the bot must fully coordinate any of their actions in life with the Master.

Well, the second camp can simply be called Fetishists, since all the interests of this group are a cocktail of various fetishes and no more than that, for some people to put a collar on and get slaps on the ass or strapon, the bdsm is already considered to be permanent for this group. sometimes from time to time, by mood, this group is the most numerous, we can say the army, most do not understand what is the difference between sadism and fetish for them all this is the same thing.

The bots are completely identical to the Tops groups. All the exact same parsley is just down with the feet, if those upper ones are lower and it makes no sense to paint the same thing, with one exception, this is masochists. Well, it’s clear that if a sadist is sexually satisfied by causing pain, humiliation

The very concept of masochism was introduced in 1886 by a Viennese psychologist named Richard von Kraft-Ebing (cool surname is true), he defined sexual pathology, which is characterized by receiving pleasure from pain and submission, according to the works Sacher-Masoch works such as “Venus in furs” and others. Actually masochism and called his name.

In 2008, in Ukraine, the city opened a cafe Zaher-Masoch. The interior of the cafe is hung with masochistic objects - whips, chains, handcuffs. A monument to Sacher-Masoch was also unveiled - a statue in human height, 1.7 m high. A magnifying glass is mounted on the monument’s chest, through which alternate erotic pictures can be seen.

I communicate a lot and maintain friendly relations with many topics in my city, often there are such situations during thematic meetings with young people as I understand it with the typical representatives of the second camp from my article.At the initial stage of correspondence, they agree with everything they are satisfied with everything else they lie about their experience in three boxes I'm not my ass in scarred shorter, but as soon as it gets to the point and figuratively speaking member is substituted for the ass, they immediately turn on the backside they realized that they are not yet ready to part with virginity, and immediately a sentence follows, let’s have a better time to have regular sex, b ... what prevented them from understanding this before? see you. well, if you don’t understand something or don’t know the Internet to help there everything is chewed, it seems that some of us are armless, blind, oligophrenic, they have no hands to drive into the search, no eyes to read and no brain to understand what they are reading.

As a result, the person who invited them, they break off the entire intimate setting and take away his time, which is wasted on some idiot.

A person who is looking for a partner on thematic resources, he does not want to engage in ordinary sex with you at all, I think he and without you have someone to do it, you are invited for a thematic meeting, discussed in detail in advance, therefore my dear associates Let us understand whether we need it, are we ready for this, see you, and not at the last moment when the whip is already whistling overhead.

I was asked the question why are you chewing everything in your articles? After all, it’s clear that there’s no, no and no again, our people can write a hundred times, say two hundred times and the same result will be 301 times.

In general, dear friends, do not hesitate to write, send your questions, maybe you want to share your impressions, or you have some of your own stories, or just want to discuss something, write, my Discord vi # 3315 I am in contact https: // vk.com/id538161182