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Comment on publication: The adventures of a stupid cat. Part 5
In the future I will be placed on Inkspired, in any case, until the PT returns to normal
Comment on publication: Magic Vino
The administration also has the ability to go on vacation or go on vacation. Moreover, with the change of the platform and the disappearance of all advertising, the site’s activity has clearly gone down.
Comment on publication: Magic Vino
Well Duc devil interesting and richness of any text (especially small), just in the details.
Comment on publication: Magic Vino
Just write a little more detailed, and then you, like Shurygina, have a precedent, and there are no facts. I want to believe in this story, but I can’t even get really excited.
Tezisno:
1. How these two girls used to buy beer
2. Conversation with the saleswoman on the subject that these girls are sluts and can be bought for a couple of bytylok beer
3. At the beginning of the two thousandth, the guys are not nines in the dacha settlements were not yet suckers on a bucket of bolts and could count on something more than a couple giving for a bottle of cheap beer. This moment would also be worthy to beat, as was the obvious redemption of the malice on local sluts (for example, another, more delicious city one had previously refused)
4. Regardless of how strong a man is, he cannot deliver a drunk body with cancer))
5. I will not find fault with the disconnection because of sugary alcohol.
6. Rudeness and mat you have a lot on the square centimeter of the text and, again, too abrupt transition.
7. You do not pretend to alfushnost, but the entire second page smells like pseudo-alfushnost.
Simply, such stories, like the protocol and the court case and the court decision for such cases =)), should be more detailed and at least 3-4 pages.
Comment on publication: Magic Vino
Well, as if yes, this is a harsh story, but there are a number of obvious problems.
The points:
1. I don’t know if it’s not good enough or just hate for whores, but this almost feels almost the whole story and it’s bad - the author’s attitude to his story shouldn’t be felt.
2. It was written with a clear hint of realism and a chance from life, but it does not stand up to scrutiny - the plot for the cycle “Criminal Russia” is real =)
3. The patsanskaya variation on the topic of 10 rubles, it is even for the beginning of the 2000s, even for the Russian hinterland, especially if it's a beer))
4. Highly moral Aunt Tanya, who understands for whom her friend buys beer - also zashkvar))
5. Pure anatomy and the influence of alcohol, plus experience - to put a drunken body with cancer so that it will not work by itself - the muscles are too relaxed.
6. This is how to get into an unprepared drunken ass, which will shrink to a heap despite drunken brains and find cleanliness and readiness there - this is the fantasy of the author who does not want to mess with dirty ass.
7. Exceptionally anatomically, after such a drunk, in the pope there will be such a compote, that a member to climb there is not that disgusting, but also fraught))
8. Judging by the mixes, the quantities drunk and the descriptions, the author dragged almost dead bodies. It is not clear how they could be capable of any actions, especially those related to sex.
9. If the first page is still nothing like that, then the second one is filled with obscenities and outright hatred or hidden desires to realize something like that that never comes to fruition.
10. The situation with the bottle does not tolerate any adequacy. Not only that, if you don’t smear it, it will break, so also such a big thing Nichrome will not come in like this, but oh well.
eleven.The end of the text is a dream of an alpha male with a bunch of pathos and testosterone, but in reality a silent jerk in front of the screen and anger to the whole world that nothing like this is close to reach.
I will not evaluate the overall level of those who praised the story commendably, but reading for those who sucked the bottle of vodka could crawl to the company in order to still have a shake before the shutdown.
Comment on publication: Notes rebel. Part 3
There are different situations in life. It was not for nothing that a prison for prisoners with two Y-chromosomes was built in the alternative universe of “Aliens”.
Comment on publication: Notes rebel. Part 3
fucking 8 years old in the ass is also very instructive))
Comment on publication: I'm from an ordinary family. Part 3
Stress test is completely “F” desire and has nothing to do with lice tests. In general, I have the impression that I am trying to write a parody of 50 dark shades of Gray))) It is a pity there is no one next to this Gray himself, so that his train of thoughts will start up on the right track)
Comment on publication: Sasha. Part 4
Sorry, but you have no idea what you're writing about. Anal sex the first time 20-30 is an unpleasant pain, no matter how much the partner relaxed. They just fucked him like that and he put up with it. I can not understand, you are experiencing this excitement or aversion, or averted arousal, or aroused aversion, but it all looks like some kind of nonsense. Sorry for being so direct. And sometimes puke pulls.
My advice to you, write first in the Word, check it several times, then copy it here, check it again and then send it to the publication. If the first stories were written out, but with punctuation errors, then there is already an essay on the Russian language of the bad student Ivanov in full swing. I somehow wonder how this without moderation and editing missed the publication.
Comment on publication: Body check
Probably some regretted that the next “fast” did not go away. And the two men listened enviously))