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Comment on publication: We had that Hamlet!
Yes, Anya, thank you. But, continuing the theme of the classics, I will answer with a quote from I. V. Goethe (“Venetian epigrams”):
- Boys, I knew love, but the girls are still nicer.
When I am fed up with a girl, she serves me as a boy.
Comment on publication: No time to wait. Part 1
Purely literary, stylistically, I would recommend this extra work, Rubin. For example, a paragraph from the second page, “I approached it, turned ...” In all sentences, the subject is “I”. At least "I wanted it so many times" instead of "... I wanted it." The lyrical hero does not see anyone but himself - and this slightly spoils the impression of, in general, an interesting story. But waiting for delaying with interest.
Comment on publication: Our little home theater
Thank you, Jacaranda. The space of erotic fantasies is so wonderful that it is not limited either by physical or legal laws: everything is on the authors' conscience, in this case N.V.
Comment on publication: Rhymes for baby Jenny
Eugene, thank you. Jenny is my co-author on the Mike & Jenny project, here I have published quite a lot of our collaborative stories. Where “Mike & Jenny” is on the cover, the first author is me, and where “Jenny & Mike” is she is. It is a real girl from the Moscow region.
Comment on publication: Walpurgis orgy
"Smetanka", Eugene - this is Mike and Jenny a euphemism for male sperm. So more than the old fashioned way.
Comment on publication: Theseus
Oh yeah, I completely forgot. Please note - this is a hexameter, like Homer and Virgil.
Comment on publication: Theseus
Thank you, Eugene, but there are two semantic layers: in addition to erotic allegory, the actual story of Theseus in the Mary Renault version. Love - after all, she always walks by the arm.
Comment on publication: Walpurgis orgy
Thank you, Eugene! Sorry, and you rarely look here lately.
And the poem, in fact, only for the story, which is still in the process of writing. Like that:
- No, but what am I to blame for the fact that in the fifth column of the passport is “Nationality - a witch”? I was asked when giving birth? Or nine months before, even better? Now prepare your off-road broom, release your fangs - and at Brocken across four borders ...
- You can and Bald Mountain, dear. It will be closer, native Slavic souls ...
- Yes, what damn family? Solid Ukrainians with Sabras: vodka, bacon and potatoes. Neither beautiful horns can be found, or the beards are delicately trimmed, and it is disgusting to look at the local witches, Baba Yaga will be even more beautiful. And then still turn out to be accidentally shot down along the road from some “Buk” ... No, it's better to the Black Forest, there the public is more decent. What do you think?
Doomed sigh. To serve and to submit - in this role she seemed to be born, but she still does not pull on the domino. We'll have to do more work on this, girl. But not today.
- In short, on the Sabbath fly? Then pick yourself a fit pozakyristee, such as black leather and lacquer, while I fill your broom with kerosene and fresh sour cream.
Comment on publication: Fire beast
Bribes a ragged rhythm, approximate rhymes in the style of Robert Rozhdestvensky, perhaps. Although generally quite simple.
Comment on publication: Through the rain
Thank you, Eugene! Jenny and I will be glad to exhibit something else very soon. You poems ("Walpurgis orgy") or prose?