“It seems so,” Leliana replied. Under the Orlesian accent, a subtle light sadness was guessed.

The guard turned on his side, facing face to face with Leliana. Nothing in it reminded of the recent sharp jerks - the same alien, soft smoothness of movements returned that it caught her eye several hours earlier.

- Are you here? - She did not find the best words. A narrow palm lay on the chest of the Guardian, and blue eyes stared at him with a keen and desperately hopeful gaze.

- Where else can I be? - the Guardian calmly replied.

“I'm not talking about ...” Leliana smiled confusedly and shook her head. Not now. The male palm tenderly walked through the red hair, and then proceeded below. The guard moved a little closer and tenderly, but firmly pressed Lelian to himself. She fidgeted a little, settled comfortably in her arms, and met her gaze with the Guardian.

“Hold me,” she said calmly and seriously. - I seem to slide off. I still remember that girl who, in the midst of Mora and the war, could have forgotten about the horrors around her and began to happily chat about her shoes. But it is somewhere far away, and every day it stays farther away, as if falling into some kind of cold, prickly emptiness. I am afraid of what I can become if she completely disappears from view. I need you to hold me.

“I could not let you go, even if I wanted to,” the Guardian chuckled. - I'm stuck in you, like in a caramel pudding.

Leliana snorted and poked him in the side with his fist, smacking into another of the many scars. The guard did not move.

***

Opening her eyes, Leliana at first did not understand where she was. Then the sensations — not the last of which was a pleasant languor in the whole body — flooded, filling in the blanks, and the girl smiled peacefully. Everything is as it should be. She is in these strange mountain ruins, finally along with ...

The place next to her was empty.

Leliana threw herself up, looking around, and immediately saw him. Hero Fareldena was sitting with his back to her and facing the fire. Flames soared higher than before, and the heat reached Leliana where it was more palpable - it seemed that the Guardian had risen to plant firewood, and remained so in place.

- Do not sleep? - quietly asked Leliana.

The guard turned his head gently and smiled at the corner of his mouth. Because of the reflections of the flame, his eyes seemed dull-shiny and empty.

“You encouraged me to count my marks,” the Guard opened his hands in a scenic gesture, revealing the many scars that covered his body, “and this, as you understand, took time.” But then I wondered if those nails left me today should be considered, and ...

“Enough,” Leliana said firmly.

The guard raised an eyebrow puzzled.

“I thought you liked talking to me,” he said ironically.

- Enough of this! The girl almost shouted, slamming a palm on the stone floor in her hearts. - From the very moment I entered here, you are hiding from me! That person whom I remember, whom I waited, whom I came to - he is here, I feel him, but you do not let him out! You are hiding from me behind ... behind these movements, phrases from the past, jokes, scars - anything, just to not seem to me! What do you want? You think, if I don’t see you, I’ll stop looking ?!

A smile slowly slipped from the Guardian's face, leaving only endless fatigue.

“Not at all,” he said evenly. “I think scars and jokes are the best part of me that I can offer.”

“Can you let me judge this?”

Guardian eyebrows converged to the bridge of the nose. In the corners of his mouth there were hard folds.

“To judge ...” he drawled, as if trying to taste the sounds. - Good word. What do you become when there is no one left who could judge you? When there is no one who can call you to account?

Leliana silently, staring at him. Up to this point — not counting the new scars — the Warden looked as if they had broken up yesterday, but now every day of the past ten years was read on his face.

- I am the Gray Guard. "Victory in the war, vigilance in the world, sacrifice in death." Victory. You have one enemy, one goal, and any means are good to achieve it. You get used to living like that. The world around converges in a narrow tunnel, straight as the royal road, and in this tunnel there is only you and your goal.

The guard extended his hand to the fire and held it for some time. Then, without taking his eyes off, he turned it with the other side of his palm, as if looking at something he had seen for the first time.

“But I'm more than just a Warden.” I am a knight commander. I am Hero of Ferelden. Tell me honestly, - his voice sounded like a rusty jagged knife, meeting a bone, - can you imagine someone who could stop me when I go to my goal?

Leliana was silent.

- While you were there, everything went well. When I hesitated, I could look back at you, and you let me know that the shortest path is not always the best. - The guard clasped his knees, clasping his fingers into the lock. - And more importantly - while you were there, I still knew how to hesitate. And then, without you ...

The guard clenched his jaws so that nodules played under the skin, but then he relaxed.

- It's so easy that it even scares. When there is no one who dares to block your path, and no one who can tell him what it is to straighten the road? You quickly begin to take ... - The guard stuttered. - Effective solutions. You go forward with a sweeping step, because there is only you and only a goal, and what a trouble if someone fell under the boots? You said that you value stories for confidence ... Yes, I do not have confidence.

The Guardian's nail absentmindedly drew a flat line on the stone floor.

- Our roads were crooked, winding paths, but we walked along them together, and I knew that every time I go where we need to go. The road that I have been walking for the last few years is straight like an arrow ... but I don’t want you to see the places through which it leads.

The log in the hearth cracked loudly, throwing a thick sheaf of sparks. Myriads of tiny lights reflected in the eyes of the Guardian, but the dark pupils barely moved.

- I did things that can not be proud of - and did not feel remorse. I did things that would terrify me a decade ago - and I didn't feel anything. The guard turned around, staring at Leliana with a blank stare. - I did things that could not be made by someone you loved. You don't want to see who I became.

The guard again clasped his hands in front of him. The mighty hunched figure, sitting right in front of the fire, seemed surprisingly small and helpless next to a huge shadow that ominously danced behind it.

Leliana rose to her feet and slowly approached the Guardian. Bare feet carried her completely silent.

- Want.

- How would you know? - the Guardian responded in a low voice. The words sounded dull, as if they had to be squeezed out of themselves.

- How should I know? - repeated Leliana separately. “I know, because ten years ago you met a girl who had moon and stars in her eyes and let her go with you.” Because you quietly listened to folding bikes, which she wove about herself, and did not ask where she learned to hold the bow and dagger. And when this girl could no longer deceive your trust and talked about spying and killing, when she cringed, expecting you to spit under your feet and send her away - you listened to her and stayed by her side. - Leliana put her hand on the man's shoulder, forcing the Guard to turn to face her. “Of course, this girl cannot know what the Knight Commander of the Gray Wardens and Hero of Ferelden went through.” But whatever it is, she can give him what he once gave her.Stand next to him when he faces the past.

The Warden looked intently at Leliana, and she did not look away. Two stood, silent and motionless, while behind his dull, impenetrable gaze ... Read more →