Youth is the most carefree and sweet time. Raging youth, openness and honesty of feelings. It's time to love, romantic dates and ridiculous, sometimes dating ...

It was then 2010. Odessa, chat bizzard, wrote a certain L. From the first words I liked to communicate with him, it was felt that he was not like everything and age was a plus (I was 17, he was 22). The first meeting, and I realized that it is very unusual by its nature, is smart not only for years, and is it not bad. It was followed by the next, and another. Every time we saw each other, we had something to talk about, to shut up, very serious topics were touched upon. I understood that for me it was not just communication, I began to fall in love with him.

There were timid and tender kisses, walks and conversations. From him I learned that I have a male character, which later became a kind of little curse, but thanks to which those who could not understand me left my life. But only he could ... and then one day I would know that he should leave for the flight ...

The moment of parting came, we met before the flight, walked, even had photos, these were cute photos of me as a souvenir. And there were common photos of us ... on this day due to the fact that I was younger and he could not do anything, he just decided to hold his chest. Seeing my reaction with bewilderment, he said "so that there was something to remember on the flight." On the same day I asked him a question - “may I wait for you?”. To which he replied very simply "as you see fit," leaving me without a specific answer. and since then we have not seen each other.

Only now, at 25, I understand that it was stupid and windy, alas, not then ...

Youth and falling in love turned my life in a different direction. Six months later, we again resumed the attempt to communicate with L., but as it turned out later, it was not very successful. I told him how I am and that I am, that I am not alone, because he, as a girl, did not promise anything to me, although I had some feelings for him. But at that moment I read one phrase that became decisive at that time in my life, which I understood many years later - “it means I didn’t wait” ... and since then I have ceased to know what happened to this person. Even at that moment I did not understand who I had lost.

Time passed, but there was not a day that I forgot about him, or did not look for attempts to find him.

Came 2017. Since then, almost 8 years have passed. In my personal life I came to stagnation.

Yes, I thought about him, remembered. I imagined that he had become a successful man (after all, he is already 30 years old), with a beautiful wife and possibly with children ... but she was teased by the hope that I would see him once ...

It was an ordinary everyday evening. I occasionally sat on dating sites, and from nothing to do and from just to laugh at men. Leafing through the list, I suddenly stumbled upon one photo. I could not believe my eyes. It was he, the one whom I had lost by my stupidity a long time ago. And yes, I'm not losing a second immediately put the cherished heart! In response, I saw on the display "you have mutual sympathy" ... mutual, damn it, he found me first, by accident, but did not turn over and did not say "no." And I immediately wrote, because I did not believe that this was actually happening. And he answered, I was pleasantly surprised. We started a conversation, and soon we agreed to meet.

On that day, I counted the minutes while I was at my workplace, and when the working day was finally over, I jumped into a taxi and rushed to meet him. But when I saw him live, I had a stupor, I wanted to scream, squeak, hug, etc. (it was all inside), but instead I said hello, smacked my cheek, and sat at a table in a cafe, at the same time pretty reddening. And we talked about everything and nothing. It was said that these past years, just as it happened, it was just that we were not at all the ones that were before, and this is the very moment when age is an advantage!

I looked at him, I enjoyed his style of conversation, I liked the timbre of his head, I liked Vinnie everything! h / During the conversation, I realized that he, too, was alone, and he didn’t have a little personal life. We talked about work, about victories and defeats, we laughed and sad, and sometimes we were just silent. The evening flew like one moment ... we decided to walk a bit, but a strong wind drove us to another cafe ... we drank a little for our meeting, and with each movement, look, phrase, we sat down closer to each other. My head was on his shoulder ... and then something happened that I really wanted but could not believe - a kiss ... it was beautiful! It was spontaneous and warm, it was as gentle as possible. I have never experienced such trepidation and desire, which was at that moment. I did not understand what was happening to me, I understood that it was not just sympathy, no, it was stronger than all this chemistry of feelings. At that moment I was afraid of only one thing - that I’m all dreaming of ...

But alas, all good things come to an end sooner or later, and we went home ...

We continued to communicate, every day was like new, funny, and sometimes sad. But one evening he wrote to me - “it would be great if you were next to me”. I was very pleased, sweet and I was discouraged, and could not find another way to answer - I would also like very much, it is a pity that it will not work ... his further answer struck me - “so you won't come to me?”

I didn’t know what to do and how to react ... it was insane, but I went. I wanted it, even if it lasted only an hour. And here I am with him, next to a gin and tonic and his disarming look. Green eyes, from which breath. We drank, talked, and it got a little hot. He offered to change clothes and gave a t-shirt. A thought ran through my head - he would see me half-naked. And yes, I changed my clothes, turning my back to him.

We were mad, talked and drank gin, and then something flashed, a spark ...

We kissed, I felt dizzy and I was in his arms, and then everything was like in a dream - I was in his power, I was him in every sense. I was with a man I dreamed of for so long without hoping to see him once ...

And no, it was not sex, it was not even making love, it was something more. I do not embellish, it really is. He penetrated me so gently, and I realized what it was to do this with a man. His hands slid over my body, accompanying this action with words that further kindled the fire in my chest. I wanted time to stop and to last forever ... we merged into one and enjoyed each other. The night was on our side, and I realized that happiness is to be with whom your heart wants to be ... and I fell asleep in his arms ...