The story I want to tell happened in the first half of the 90s. At that time I worked as an endoscopist gastroenterologist in my native village, where I returned after working for several years in one seaside town (I wrote about it in the “forced enema.” In one of these houses, we had an EEI (infectious diseases cabinet) .He used to be in the clinic, but after we built a new clinic in the early 80s, for some reason, we moved it deep into the park and nowabout 100 meters away from the infection ward.

At the time I was writing about, Leokadia Markelovna worked as a nurse there. She was already well over 60. She was not tall and was extremely fat and was characterized by extreme bitchiness. There was not a single person in the hospital whom she would not have cursed anyway. It was the same with people who came to take tests. For some reason, she considered it her duty to curse, insult, humiliate everyone. At work she was kept only because of the heads of the doctor was a very kind, gentle person and respecting her age, preferring to listen to numerous complaints than to dismiss her. Well, she was clearly not in a hurry to retire, and since the work at our KIZ was a little bit, she just sat there from morning till night and received a fee (otherwise you can’t call it a pension)

Honestly, we could not tolerate each other because of a story that happened almost 15 years before the events described. I was then 14 years old and I was in the hospital with a diagnosis of “vascular dystonia with a left-sided paroxysmal spastic pain syndrome” - while you speak a tongue you can break it. To be clear, explain in simple words. I just experienced the strongest short-term - paroxysmal headaches (I will tell about my adventures in the hospital another time). Our Markelovna worked then in the laboratory as a laboratory for blood sampling. She reports to our department and begins to take a complete blood count. We are standing in line. My turn comes, I sit down and give her a hand. She asks: “What is the diagnosis?”, I say: “I don’t know” (a child at 14 may not know such subtleties, In addition, Elsa Karlovna did not tell us the diagnoses, they say everything is written in the card). Well, she takes and writes: "Night enuresis." I already knew what it was then and say, saying that you are writing, I have a completely different diagnosis. !! And she answers me: “Do not tell me fairy tales here, all of you are thinking up other diagnoses for yourself. !!! Vtstskaeshsya - say so, everybody knows everything, and so who knows what lies there. ”

Most importantly, there were familiar guys and they immediately began to laugh. I pulled out my hand and ran into the ward. There I had a tantrum from the fact that it was not for me in vain to hang such a shameful label. Then Elsa Karlovna came - Leocadia reported that I did not donate blood. And she had it so - if something is not “Ordrung” - the guilty person receives in full. Well, she began to yell at me, and then she saw that I was hysterical and I wouldn’t say a word and asked “mamok” (I was lying with them in the ward), saying what had happened. Those tell. Elsa sees that there is “not Ordrung” and let me calm down. When I calmed down a bit, I demanded to tell you what happened. I tell, and my words completely coincide with the story “mamok” - (it turns out that Leokadia had spat on what I pushed her). Elsa asks who was there. I call the guys. After 5 minutes, Elsa gathers us all in the staffroom room. He asks them what happened there - they repeat my story completely. She takes my case history, reveals where the diagnosis is written, and tells everyone to go to the table and read it.After that he lights up and says - Everyone read it - the guys answer - Everything. - Well, so: if at least one of you repeats what this fool said (repeat verbatim), you should deal with me and better not get to me - I'm German and I will arrange for you that the concentration camp (You saw everything in the movie what it is) will seem to you a sanatorium !!! (Knowing the character of Elzin, one could have no doubt that this would be the case - I know how she took my clothes from me and more than once — but about this another time)

Then he gets up and goes somewhere. Later, I found out that she was from the head physician and had the strongest scandal there, as a result of which Markelovna almost took off from work. It’s good that the team took her for bail (and absolutely in vain) so she got off with a little blood - progressivka flew away from her, the 13th was severely reprimanded with entering. So we became sworn enemies.

Years went by and I went to study, and Markelovna who by that time retired was transferred to work at KIZ. Honestly, the work there was thieves. I ask you to understand me correctly - I do not mean that someone liked to poke around in the anus, it’s not just with such an organization as we had an employee of the CIZ that worked 65 days a year. This refers to the days when you had to visit kindergartens, schools during vaccinations and checks for worms and carrier carriers, and even when you were undergoing a high-risk group medical commission (teachers, catering) Well, did you sometimes have to take blood from a vein for analysis, yes, scraping on the eggs of worms or making a feces a rectal tube on the carrier carrier tank - but it was so rare that one could not take into account. And the rest of the time so 300 days a year could sit from 9 to 17 and do absolutely nothing. But Markelovna stayed true to herself even here — even during the short time when she worked, she managed to cheat and insult all her patients.

It took a little more time I graduated from the institute to work properly in the direction and returning home began working as an endoscopist gastroenterologist. Then, just as our hospital received optical fiber endoscopes and they needed to be mastered in general, there was enough work. And then our infectious disease doctor left for a course of half a year and I was appointed to her place. Of course, I tried not to intersect with Leokadia Markelovna, although this did not work. In general, it cost me to communicate with her as the mood was spoiled for the whole day.

Once a 13-year-old boy is brought to our unit, covered with some kind of blistering. Fortunately, it turned out that it was a food allergy, and after appropriate treatment everything went away, but since we had an infectious department, we had to take all the tests from him. And the feces analysis shows the presence of trichocephalosis. (whipworms). Well, the mother is shocked (they turned out to buy a cottage in the neighboring village, and they themselves were visitors), I, in turn, tried to explain that it was not so scary and I think that in 7-10 days everything would pass. But she also needs to be tested for eggs of worms. I write her a direction and she goes to the CID. Returns from there in a few minutes, all in tears and hysterics.

I suffer with it for half an hour and finally find out what happened. It turns out she comes to the office and begins to undress. And she turns out to have been shaved pubis and wearing thongs. Well, Markelovna is preparing a rectal tube and is indignant to herself, saying that only women of easy virtue walk. The patient begins to be indignant, well, here Markelovna starts and issues such that no censorship will be missed. In general, a woman in tears and hysterics comes to me. Something like I calmed her down, I myself take that analysis, send it home, and I myself go to Markelovna for disassembly.

I come, in what time I try to talk on a human, nothing comes out. The conversation is the type of patient that she had a girl who was walking, and I covered her up. I ask - what is the reason for her to say so - answers - a decent woman will not walk like that !! And that's it. I could not stand it, spat and went to my room.After a couple of days, a “boomer” drives up to the station and from there a man comes out - shorn in a leather jacket, elastic, with a chain and rings. In general, the typical brother. Passes to my office. And immediately begins to run down ...