My hobby is words, not even words, but their meaning, I like to write and read, I am a philologist by profession, I like it very much, especially to confuse words, rearrange them in places, but I like names all the most, but names are hidden in them not only the history of the people to whom the name belongs, but the song, it is the song, each letter is a note, and each people has its own language and its own melody of words. In as I turned. Yes, well, it's all the little things and very few people are interested. I work not quite by profession, but I write, I compose scripts for advertising, it’s fun, though silly, to advertise yogurt or stockings. I turn everything inside out and, if the client says he wants it like this, I will definitely suggest the opposite, because his view on the competitors, and why should he parade them, you need your own, extraordinary, but at least take and place just a brick on the screen, and the end write a meat grinder. And tell the mincer, nothing to do with, but you’ll think, and she’s here and the effect of advertising, whether you’re scolding this advertisement or not, but it’s going to work and calls to the company that the mincer is selling will just be a flurry, but you need to know the measure.

This is my first job, I got a job just six months ago, and it’s necessary, in my company, but she’s already mine, I fell in love with it, one youth, well, except that, not counting our director, and the chief accountant. I have already been given a study, I can leave at any time, I belong to the creative contingent, therefore I work without time and where, and at any time, and yet I think everyone is the best here. I hear how the work is going on behind the door, whispering, shouting or sometimes even swearing, as without it, but this is a process and it just delays me, draws in my head.

Two months later, I have a wedding, Alexey, this is my boss, he is worried, but I convinced him that I would not go on maternity leave for at least two years, and so far I don’t want to, I have to be in time, and Igor, red, sun, I would still called a squirrel, but better than chipmunks, this is my fiance. He doesn’t work with dreams, from the institute with him, his horse is art and history, here we have many common themes, for some reason he all the time doubts the authenticity of history and gives many facts that it is terribly badly distorted and I seem contracted his suspicion.

Today is Friday, the end of the day, sad and joyful at the same time, I don’t have any orders, my head is free, so cool, just clean and everything, not a single cloud. The office has already been emptied, the company is large for several floors, artists, cameramen, sound producers, and also animators and an administrator for computer equipment work in our wing, in general, the most, the most biziknye advertisers. It’s quiet now, it’s blown away like everyone’s wind, it’s even surprisingly so quiet, neither Valera’s music, sometimes she’s annoying, Ani’s squeak, they’re disturbing her, Max’s grumbling with claims who took his disks, just silence.

I licked my lips, waited all day for this moment, no one will hurt me, so I with a calm soul, opened my purse and carefully unzipped the zipper and took out a strange object from the side compartment, but it was he who gave me no rest for several days.

Three hours ago.

I wrote it out at the beginning of the week, I don’t know why or why, but there was intrigue in my heart, for some reason I really wanted it, although it was a rather forbidden topic, and as they say, if it is forbidden, I especially want it. Just as no one forbade, because no one knew what I wanted, she was afraid of condemnation, not understanding, and to be honest, this topic is still considered well, how to say, if not forbidden, then at least condemned. I went online to the sex shop. Wow, well, I said it, it was already very uncomfortable, the idea is that this service is used only by perverts, prostitutes and addicts, but I am not, I’m just curious and that's all, and since I don’t consider myself scrupulous and cornered by all sorts of stereotypes, and that's solved.And so, I looked at the page for a page of this sex store for a long time, I was looking for a specific, but I took my curiosity and spent hours watching the pages, I learned a lot, I was surprised that it was not just toys, but an industry that helps many people cope with Sex problems, I do not need, I was looking for more.

A miniature anal sleeve, that's how it is terribly called, really terrible, it could be somehow gentler, more beautifully called, and then the sleeve, the cork would have called a corkscrew, the word jars on me, but the meaning of the object does not change and I ordered it . The solid color, small, like a carrot, sharp, rounded edges, and narrowing at the base, the thickness of the carrot is a little more than my finger, I did not order another one, so I was afraid to choose the smallest, probably what I needed. And yesterday came the SMS where it was said about the arrival of the order, I could not fall asleep from excitement, and today I hardly waited for dinner, did not want to run away, felt some kind of awkwardness, even blame for such thoughts. In TSUM, we have a pick-pick service, Pick Point, slipped a little earlier, pulling the parcel out of the cell was terrified, the box turned out to be so decent in size. Passing through the park and not reducing the step, I opened the package and looked into it, the object itself turned out to be small, thin as I expected. Running my hand in a box, I stroked it, that’s a maniac, but it felt nice to the touch, made of silicone, I threw away the wrapper, opened my purse on the go and quietly put the contents of the parcel into the pocket, and the box itself flew into the trash.

Twelve years ago.

I was still ten years old, just a silly little fool, I liked to collect all kinds of treasures, Dad presented a casket and there are many branches, we found shells, all kinds of beautiful old buttons, a few coins, a pin with a bead, a cufflink, a copper earring and all that I found it at my grandmother, where there was where to look and what to find. And just like my grandmother, I was looking for a house, but at home everything was boring, but by chance I stumbled upon a box in the closet, it was specially hidden so far that I had to get it from the stepladder, I knew that there was something to be, otherwise why did her mother hide her so, dad wouldn't, he has a garage, this is a man's treasure island. I searched when I was not at home, mom didn’t like it when I made a mess and thought my treasure ideas were too childish, it was time to grow up, but what she could understand in beads and coins.

I sat down right in the closet on the floor, I was so impatient to find out what was there, but I was very disappointed, there was nothing secret about it, but there were strange objects that surprised me. Some were similar to candles, but they did not have a wick, while others were similar ... very similar, because I once saw a drunk grandfather in the fall came out of the bath naked, but he had a little and fat one, and in a box what I found was long, just huge men ... In general, as soon as I guessed that it was, I left everything in the box in horror and put it on the shelf as far as possible.

I was very surprised why they, what they do there, maybe these are medical models, I saw in the school models of the heart, kidneys, we were shown the structure of the body, and I thought that they also belong to the models, but after a few years I was again I remembered them, the box was not in place, my mother probably threw it away or hid it so that, no matter how hard I tried, I could not find it.

I grew up and already in the seventh grade I was friends with a boy, in the eighth, I kissed each other comically, in the ninth I felt what love is, it hurt and so easily I felt myself, so floated, such happiness overwhelmed me, and if there was a seventh heaven, I would live there. And then, at night, when I went to bed, through a nap, I felt tenderness, warmth, faintness, it was a completely new feeling.I tried to understand what it was and was surprised that my fingers stroked my chest, it was awful to realize what I was doing with myself, but I spent the next week trying to study my body and I liked it, I understood a lot and I knew that I had to answer myself, if I did the right thing, I didn't do it right ....