Once, a friend of mine persuaded me to go to the excavations in Myasnoy Bor, the place where 2 Vlasov's army died.

This friend has long been looking for and burying Soviet soldiers in battlegrounds. He persuaded me to go to the excavation camp, saying that he was lucky with the newcomers, that I would definitely fulfill my civic duty and “raise” the fighter ... I persuaded him.

The occupation, of course, is not a pleasant one, in my opinion, deeply doubtful, and the places there are creepy, like in Stephen King's thrillers.

But my friend is a fan of all this and considers it his duty to “raise” domestic soldiers every season and re-protect them.

And in general, he is a highly moral personality - he does not drink, does not smoke, does not enter into connection with harlots and does not try to grab something in his life at the expense of his neighbor.

Not that I ...

In general, when we began to dig, I immediately came across half-rotten bones and almost decaying remnants of the uniform with an iron cross. Slightly chipped in the bottom corner.

I was delighted, counting how much such a souvenir could cost and naturally did not say anything to anyone. With a crunch he tore it off and hid it in his pocket. The rest of the "search engines" showed only the skull and bones.

I know you, they say. Will run and will demand to divide a prize into all.

Body organ im greedy snouts!

To my surprise, they rummaged around dejectedly, squeaked with a metal detector, found more bones, but did not bury anything, kicked the remains in disgust and ground them with earth. These are invaders, they say. Enemies Deutschland.

Well, enemies and enemies, I have it all in parallel to me. The main thing is to get to the Internet and find out how much this funny thing costs from the Great Reich and Antiquity Adolf ...

Already in the camp, I had a glimpse of a photo of auction lots of military awards on a smartphone, the amount was decent. Even written with one buyer. Agreed on tomorrow.

Delighted, I got drunk on the can of the havanine in the camp and fell asleep. Before this, the rest of the "members of the ensemble" told that it was no longer an assistant to them in the excavations. I want to go home, - I miss my mother very much and I need to feed the aquarium fish.

I sleep in a tent, and I have a vivid and distinct dream, as if I stand in front of a system of evil fascist SOLDIEN, and in front of me imposingly strolling in an officer’s German uniform is a fat Nazi with a walking stick, an SS wristband and my cross on the chest. Slightly chipped in the bottom corner.

He says something powerfully in German, but I do not understand. How can I understand when I learned English at school?

Is that from the Aryan group Rammstein listened, but the German porn movies watched.

And one Germanized Russian who had been Russified over several generations ...

"Friends" with her in every way, in general. This representative of the Nordic race in love joys was very inventive, but very foul in nature and unpredictable, like a flowing bitch of a bulldog.

Once a little fork in my thigh is not stuck after a minor quarrel. I barely had time to remove the body from the kitchen shell.

She had to hang an uppercut for this perfidious attack. As a result of a successful counterattack, the aggressor flew off to the plate, lost a couple of teeth and stopped criminal intrusion attempts by a foreign object into the Slavic flesh.

Blitzkrieg did not take place.

On this warm relationship with the German race ended. Long and significant dialogues began with the district police officer, but this is another story ...

And this adversary in uniform from my sleep is heart-rending:

- Dies ist mein Großkreuz des Eisernen Kreuzes!!!

- Dies ist mein Großkreuz des Eisernen Kreuzes!!!

- Dies ist mein Großkreuz des Eisernen Kreuzes!!!

The soldiers, they click the closures, the MP-40 submachine guns point me at me and start screaming too.

Is the Germans so nervous?

Strange, but I have remembered these incomprehensible words for the rest of my life, although I have a persistent obedience to foreign languages.

The teacher AGLITSKY to me has always said this. And I, in response, the bastard, the stationery buttons put her in the ass. Back by the way was good. Juicy.

I dreamed of going there, but it didn’t work out, although I still remember him and my hands are stretched out by school habit to my fly.

But back to my dream.

I told him - what do you want? I do not understand your opinion how dick it is, but he is angry. A voice raises and a foot in a boot stomps.

In general, I clap my eyes under the loud recitative of an unfamiliar speech, and suddenly this foul German, with all his foolishness, UEBET with his cane to me on the head.

Immediately in sight - the fascist goner. Sadyuga Gauleiter.

I already woke up in the middle of the night.

I opened my eyes, felt my turnip with my fingers, and on my forehead a big bump was inflated, as if something heavy was really attached to it. Maybe in a dream I hit the ground? I do not know...

In the morning, the lump swelled even more, and I did not find the cross anywhere, although I carefully searched everything like a bloodhounding bloodhound.

I even rummaged in the camp dump, which caused unhealthy interest and malicious comments from my colleagues in the camp.

And how could he have disappeared if I wrapped him in a rag and stuck him under the mattress, on which I slept all night? One slept, the single tent was covered with mosquito nets and no one could penetrate to me, let alone spawn this “delicious” rarity.

Although, who knows these dodgers with shovels and metal detectors? The muzzles of some “burial researchers” are very tricky, like those of the GAI officers, which implies absolute ruthlessness and hatred for everything else.

Besides, in the same morning, I saw two of these ... grappling with each other, like cats, just because of some found rusty sleeve. Debila!

But this is not the end of the inexplicable. Near my tent, I saw strange footprints of boots with "knobs" and horseshoe prints. The rest of the “diggers” dragged only berets and sneakers in the camp. It was later that I learned that only Germans wore such savvy boots ...

In general, I did not go more to the excavations. Well, fuck them, these otherworldly inadequate.

Kumpol was filled, the trophy was taken and almost shot himself. Cattle!!!

Yes! I almost forgot!

And to the fascist who had absolutely fucked up in attack, I had already revenged myself in the afternoon.

Having taken a hefty portion of vodka, for the second time unearthed his blackened jug in the enemy's land and landed our Russian stone on it with a sweep.

The Nazi skull was inconspicuous and immediately crumbled into dust, like a Tiger tank from a side hit of an armor-piercing projectile from our T-34 ...