Sveta was my friend since childhood. Our families lived in the same yard and already in the sandbox we together with her sculpted cakes, crawled down the hill and ate dirt. Then we began to go to one group in kindergarten, and then became classmates. It is difficult to say what united us. We were very different in temperament and character.

I was my mother's girlfriend. Always neat, polite, correct in deeds and words. It was even difficult for me to lie, since I thought that lying was bad. My parents loved me a lot, but they didn't spoil me. Dad thought that I should become a strong man, and then a gentle and affectionate girl.

- A strong person can afford weakness, can afford to give in, can afford to not give up. Weak - always forced to endure.

Therefore, I have been busy with myself. After school, I waited for courses, sections and circles. But it didn’t do anything to me. I enjoyed learning about the world and learning something new and interesting. I used to work a lot and I was not afraid of difficulties. But at the same time I was very modest. I was always embarrassed about new acquaintances, big society and being in the center of attention. It was probably a side effect of paternal upbringing. He very rarely praised me for my progress, downplayed my achievements and judged very harshly for mistakes and mistakes.

Dad was a pretty strong man, but very impulsive and emotional. When he was worried about something, he exploded! He shouted, waved his hands, moved erratically and swore. It always scared me so much that I was afraid to say something about my problems. Not only him, but other people as well, since they could tell dad something. I was very careful and always thought about what impression I would make on my dad if he finds out about this event in my life or my act.

Sveta was my opposite. She was whimsical, liberated and very limited in its intellectual development. She did not care about any new knowledge. She was not interested in what and how it works, why this or that phenomenon occurs. Sveta lived in the world of feelings and emotions. She rejoiced at the drops of rain and the ray of sunshine. And if a ladybug would sit on her arm to rest, this was for her the most important event of the day. Svetka's parents were simple people. My mother worked as an accountant in a city hospital, and my father worked as a driver on large trucks. Her dad was a very gloomy, silent and calm person. I don’t remember him talking to me or to someone else with big sentences. His communication consisted of short, concise phrases of two or three words. He could answer a difficult question with one exact and capacious word.

- Dad, I got a three on history today. Although I told everything correctly. Valery Nikolaevich said that besides the knowledge of facts and dates, one must also understand what I am saying. I think if I was asked when there was a war, and I said the exact dates, then these are five! What do you think?

- Survive!

My father would arrange a real storm, break something from furniture, yell at the whole house. And Svetkin's father, sadly looking into his eyes, uttered only one word.

Sveta adored everything beautiful and fashionable. She is the very first in the class to start using cosmetics. She was the one who wore overwhelming and crazy outfits. She was not even allowed to go to school sometimes, demanding to change her image and follow the business style. And if in elementary and middle school it was all quite innocent, in high school, when her figure became very feminine, the outfits became frankly erotic and sexy. The guys went crazy with the sight of her beauty in a magnificent frame.Slender legs, seductive so far, bulging chest - all this was presented to males for consideration, admiration, the desire to “blow” and, as a result, the desire to fulfill any request from the owner of these beauties.

I could not afford this. Although my body in high school was quite beautiful and attractive, and my heart and soul demanded love and male attention, I didn’t expose myself "to mischief." As required by the school charter, I went to a knee-length skirt, a blouse, and a jacket of set colors. I did this not only at school, but also to all my circles and events. Sveta constantly made fun of me about this, tried to “guide the true path” and make me “just a little bit like a modern girl,” but she didn’t work.

As soon as I imagined that my dad would find out from someone that his daughter went to school and showed everyone her slim legs in a short skirt, then all the desire to be a model disappeared.

Only in the bathroom, or when there was no one at home, I allowed myself to relax and arranged, as I called it - “sex madness”. I turned on the music and, looking in the mirror, danced a striptease, imagining myself on a real stage in a striptease bar. I had a good imagination and therefore easily submerged in the fictional world, I was high on it and received a discharge. Not infrequently, I imagined that they were stealing and torturing me, and then raping me. I attached clothespins to my nipples, tied myself with a dressing gown belt, slapped my ass with a knotted carpet and used a toothbrush handle as an imaginary member.

There was a small hole in my hymen, into which my finger hardly passed. But the very touch to it, and the penetration inside, was very pleasant, especially in the process of my imaginary adventures. When from hormones and the arising desire began to lay my ears, I loved to dream and caress myself, plunging into the pleasant and alluring world of sensual pleasure.

Sveta did not understand my games. She lovingly called me a "pervert." We, as very close friends, shared even such intimate problems.

- Well, how can you get high from this ?! It's nice, I agree, but to prank my pussy myself - what is there to be so awesome ?! Better to just fuck a guy!

- Not! What the fuck ?! How old are I?

- So what?! If you want it, then it is already possible!

- And then why not fuck yourself ?!

- Yeah! I did not find myself in the garbage to give my tselochka, to some idiot.

- Well, here I am too! You just do not have enough imagination, so you and not high.

- Yah you! What to imagine, if there are excellent options in real life! You just need to find them!

Sveta poorly studied. All her thoughts were somewhere far from the temple of science. She came to school as a club for communication. Gossip, rumors, KVN, discos, relationships, parting - that was what interested my girlfriend at school. I, on the contrary, was indifferent, and more worried about the marks in the journal, the protection of research projects, intellectual contests and quizzes. Sveta always sat next to me and already from the first class took it a rule to write off all my control tasks, homework and ask for help when answering the board. She even developed a special system of gestures so that I could prompt her when she was stupid when answering a question. It didn’t do anything to me and even entertained me. Sveta was the ray of light in my dark realm of eternal bison, which gave hope that life is not so difficult and difficult and is not happiness and joy.

It was thanks to Svetka that I got to my first disco, the first party, the first meeting with the boy. It was with Svetka that I smoked for the first time, drank for the first time and watched porn for the first time. It was with Svetka and only with her I could speak very freely, on any topics. Especially about sex and love.

At some point, vulgar thoughts constantly climb into your head and urgently demand constant attention.At first you don't even notice yourself how they appear there and how they begin to capture the space inside you. Just a second ago, you solved an algorithmic problem, and now you look out the window, and bright and sweet images flash in your head. You try to drive them away, and you succeed, but after a while they come back again ...