Dedicated to all property managers
buy extravagant
alcoholic drinks unknown
manufacturers on the Internet ...

... It was very difficult for Ivan Ivanovich to go. Her legs shook, braided and strangely arched, as if they were not legs, but the weird tentacles of some ridiculous octopus.

With the head, too, there were problems. She simply did not work for her intended purpose and categorically refused to carry out thought processes.

And one, only one, thought sluggishly pulsed in my head, “what's wrong with me?”, “What's wrong with me?”, “What's with me?”.

The body somehow unusually went limp, however, Ivan Ivanovich with a titanic effort drove the compulsive phrase knocking on his temples and tried to focus with his gaze on some object.

Did not work out.

Everything around was foul, swinging and leaping. And somewhere far away, there was some kind of strange noise, like the disgruntled hum of disturbed bees.

“Bomage ... Khuzna ... Tradju ... Jaboo ...” slid the lips of Ivan Ivanovich spontaneously and spontaneously, who at that very moment tried painfully to remember who he was. Where is he?

Why it happens?

Why did his body, deft a couple of hours ago, become so disobedient and clumsy?

Who is to blame? Who!

You just need to concentrate ...

To the surprise of Ivan Ivanovich, his brain stopped obstinate and showed a bright flash of flashed pictures of the recently viewed fantastic blockbuster.

Maybe he is an astronaut? Like that pumped-up man, on the red planet, where disgusting monsters greedily ate people like hungry schoolchildren ice cream ...

Is very similar. Like gravity. Obviously unearthly.

Suddenly something appeared before him. This is something smoothly swayed in space and brutally wiggled shoots from a surprisingly nasty muzzle.

Ivan Ivanovich was scared. He tried to scream, but could not. Then he grabbed the monster by the appendage and slapped him with a badly listening hand several times. The terrible snout screamed in the womb, melted softly beyond the horizon of view.

Aha This reception turns out to be valid! But why did he so easily drive away this incredible offspring of a world alien to people?

Can he have a laser sword in his hands? Could he be Batman? Then he is obliged to protect this planet from the monsters!

Ivan Ivanovich, emboldened by this thought, with great difficulty, got up and walked forward with trembling legs into a strange screaming space in which he immediately came across a chair. Why on an alien planet was an office chair - is unclear.

Apparently, the Armenians brought. They always deliver something. And waggons.

Consciousness for some reason dimly showed the contented, bristly face of a furniture merchant, sitting above the “Tables and Kitchens” sign. Doubts left.

Apparently enterprising envoys of solar Armenia reached out to the planets of the solar system. Here is the same ...

However, going with the chair immediately became easier. As well as “extinguish” with the iron object of use, the arising freakish figures of monsters, with a squeal scattering in different directions, like pins from a ball.

Maybe he is not Batman, and Terminator?

Suspiciously too much destruction, he did for a sugary dude in a suit that was deeply dubious in every respect and had a bat on his chest.

But for the stern athlete with a ray of a broken eye - just right!

- Zammmo-mo-urss sssuk ... sukkki! - Naughty lips scuffed, and the Armenian chair still with great success suffered chaos and confusion in the ranks of frightened bleating shadows of opponents.

However, in the heat of battle, the bladder strongly demanded immediate release.

Oppa !!! Okay! Even Terminators urinate. But according to the situation.

Palms habitually tore the zipper of trousers. The warrior has no right to be shy on a bloody lists!

Jet of its combat effectiveness was worse than the chair. She did not reach the monsters, although the interplanetary monsters under her began to scream louder and run faster.

It was no longer possible to catch up with them.I had to change tactics and combat style on the go.

But there was no strength left.

Ivan Ivanovich, moaning from the strain, threw a chair into the dying abomination and, deprived of support, collapsed into his own puddle, whispering:

- All bi back ...

... Doctor! This man lying in vomit is Ivan Ivanovich. The manager and a big fan of fantasy films.

We told him not to drink Chinese tincture with a walrus penis preserved in it.

Eyewitnesses insist that this penis resembled a dead cat in appearance and smell.

This tincture he ordered on the Internet. Kadrovichki saw how he washed the glass and glowed with the anticipation of falling into the alcoholic "nirvana".

Then our greedy experimental experimenter devoured the bottle in one snout, bit it like a “penis”, jumped out of his office into the corridor, bit the bookkeeper behind his ass and started beating all passing employees with a chair, heart-rendingly yelling that he was “AVATAR”, “ BATMON and ARNOLDOSHWARZNEGGER.

And we are all smelly foreign whores and for some reason Armenians. For this, he will “usurp” us in many ways and many ...

Then the mustache snatched the guard who was trying to calm him down and began to piss on everything he saw before the jet hit the outlet.

From the circuit, he passed out. In a minute, how did you arrive ...

We did not even think that there was so much liquid in our supply manager. The whole building was de-energized, the reptile was fucked up! Why did he turn green like a crocodile? BUT?

Will he live? Not? - came from somewhere on the edge of the universe ...

p.s. Ivan Ivanovich survived after washing the stomach, but was dismissed as soon as he left the hospital.

The doctor was not able to determine the type of toxin, which led to such tragic consequences.