(Lyudmila, who was married to the one and only, as practice shows, time in her life)

I have been divorced from my wife for seventeen years ...
We have some strange divorce. We do not live together. But there are no official stamps that we are no longer husband and wife.
For which I am especially grateful to my ex-wife, for leaving my last name. So, if you think about it (the people around are bad, like the state) maybe with that name she had to work hard over the years without me in different offices: it ends, she, last name, on “o”. Not Russian, let's face it, last name. But not changed. Left. And to my daughter ... What I say - to our daughter, - also left my name ...

Why did we break up?
The first years afterwards, he was definitely certain that his wife was to blame for everything. My belief in this: solely on the basis of the last name, which ends in "O". For those who do not understand this a little bit - the Ukrainian surname ends with an “O”. And there is a belief that people who are “awarded” with such a last name are stubborn as sheep ...
What to sin against the truth: I was hard-nosed.
So four or five years after our “run up” from each other - I thought so, being absolutely sure of this, that only our wife was to blame for our separation ...

Without saying anything, I pushed my personal belongings into several bags and left ...
Later, years later, the thoughts appeared: was it only her fault? Is not he a scum?
So here. Gone are the years, as they say in smart books.
Strange, but I didn’t have a thought about remarriage. And if you think about a divorce - so I completely cut it off. Of course, not a monk, many people have been in a bed during this time ... But, what is disgusting, I didn’t want them all - I didn’t want them, I always compared them to my wife. He did not speak out loud, but the competition “girls for the night” with his former wife could not stand ...

We did not call up these years.
... The first contact came out wife. Although, frankly, do not call her first, I myself was ready to break on contact with her.
And after that we have established friendly relations. There was some kind of Italian film, it seems, it is called “People's Romance”. He gathered crowds in cinemas. Somewhere in the mid-70s of the last century. There, the guys also ran away after a serious spat, right up to sexual betrayal. With the use of sweat even weapons. Double barrels. As I remember, the husband came running, whom the lover “surrounded” to him, to his lover. From her pocket she takes ammunition for this double-barreled gun from pajama trousers with the words, I also have ammo ... And then nothing. Then they had a purely friendly communication. Here we are.
Plus more. The spouse “rose” in the literal sense of the word: a smart apartment renovation, a good car. Yes, and docha all in chocolate ... My state pennies, in the sense of alimony from them, were hardly taken seriously ...

... - Sash, will you go to the dacha tomorrow? - she called me under 1 May.
That's interesting, we haven't lived together for a long time, but I still have some dependence on it. A kind of "podkabluchnost." This time I decided to get rid of it. From the "hennah". He shook his head, breathed several times with his mouth and nose, and finally, as it seemed to me, he firmly preserved his male self;
- People, what the fuck, you know; I live on orders - I have a "tomorrow" list for the whole day.
“Oh, how busy, you just think,” even over the phone, I heard her throw up her hands (the phone was on the speakerphone). Sash, my mom and grandfather need to be transported to the country for the summer. Help, eh?
Well, where is my "solid male self"? Would you refuse? I could not refuse.
As a result, I had a very unpleasant conversation with the chef. But he treats me well. And Saturday with Sunday eventually allowed me to count as days off.

... Mother-in-law amused. The former (although, why the former? She is a very good person. Although the mother-in-law).

So here. Mother-in-law pounds twenty sugars in one of the bags stuffed ...I asked why? And here, he says in the store, a couple of rubles cheaper than in the village. At the same time, I crushed in my pocket either a piece, or five hundred - some piece of paper ... And there were about forty such bags in total. Plus seedlings.
I was dreaming. At the dacha in Volkswagen Lyudkin’s “jet”, I thought I would go king. Yeah, right now.
All bags in bags. On the one hand, in the back seat - grandfather, the second husband of the mother-in-law, on the other, in the same place - seedlings. And in the middle I am. I, a creature, internally swearing, terribly dissatisfied, but at the same time making a complacent face mine ...

Guys! Who would love his wife like me: four hours - on the one hand sprouts, on the other hand carrying grandfather's nonsense (I don’t reproach him, after all, for 80 years man, and I’m tolerant), and not smoke Beer to drink! Taboo, eat.

I digress a little, plunge, so to speak, into history
Actually, my ex is a dentist. When she was in her last year, it turned out that she was in the third week.
- Artem !!! - I shouted happily.
“Anya will,” calmly, without any emotion, said the expectant mother, my wife, that is (surprisingly, but that happened later - it happened: our daughter, Anya).
But I'm not talking about that. I am about who could love his wife more than me? I show it clearly: her coursework was according to plan, according to caries. Moreover, the practice. And where to go?
So here.

The Spanish Inquisitors did not have the unit that lurked on the Lyudkin mezzanines. Imagine a picture of a pregnant spouse in the lap of a husband sitting in a chair. He - with one hand he will embrace her already fairly rounded waist, the other - holds and directs the light of the lamp into his mouth. And at the same time it follows its instructions “Faster, slower ...” and for this purpose it presses the machine miracle slightly or slightly on the pedal. The national team, which is a result of a dental doctor in the clinic ... But there everything is under anesthesia! And I just have a glass in the conclusion of the process ...

... So, we arrived at the cottage. Ludka opened the trunk, and I lit two cigarettes at once. Nicotine hunger. One hundred kilometers in four hours. It turns out, it seems to have flown to Irkutsk on an airplane. Smoking is strictly prohibited for the entire flight. And I am a person who obeys the laws and regulations.

Lyudka literally snatched the Klinsky jar from my hands and eagerly fell to her.
- What are you doing? We still have to go, refill gas cylinders!
- Today we will not go anywhere ...
We will not go, well, we will not go, for me something is two days ahead. I hung around with bags, handbags, bags, baskets, like a Christmas tree with toys and began to move this load from the car to the country. And then it was necessary to move the firewood closer to the house, folded at the gate ...
- Sash, well ... leave them for tomorrow, - the spouse of the former has already thrown off her dandy driver's outfit, stood in something middle between a sundress and a bathrobe.

- Drink a glass?
I wanted to say that a glass instead of a glass would be good, but bit my tongue: what about an alcoholic?
We clinked for nothing. But before that - or did it seem to me? - devils jumped out of Lyudkin eyes ...
Vodka quickly calmed everything down and put everything in its place ... Although not quite everything.
- Lud, and what did you get to Jet? - why did my language lead me in the wrong direction? Maybe just words for conversation did not immediately find what to say, well, and blurted out the first thing that turned up under the tongue? - Hyundai Goetz was a good one ..

A pause was a little delayed. Lyudka hesitated
- I have long been "automatic" wanted. A box ... - she seemed to be waiting for my question, although she was late in answering. At the same time she spoke inconsistently, fatigue affected: driving for more than four hours, constant voltage in traffic jams. Plus drank. And the time was already late.

- Expensive...
- Of course, it's expensive ... If Gurgen didn't help me, I would see this Jettou ... - then she bit her tongue ...
That's right, in general, bit it.
I did not say anything. Everything is clear and so. Without many words. I put a glass on the gazebo table and went to the “cell” - so we called the one-story extension to the country house.
How much did I smoke ...