This text is written for intelligent couples without extreme problems (sado-maso-rain, etc.), who are still eyeing the swing and want to learn about its pitfalls. The swing world has its established patterns that are not at all obvious to beginners. And therefore it is better if possible not to fill the bumps themselves, but to rely on someone else's experience. This is not a guide to action, but rather orienting information for you to develop a reasonable and safe behavior strategy in dealing with swingers.

About the vagueness of the concept

The term swing designates the form of sexual relations borrowed from the name of the dance style, popular in the United States in 30-40 years. In this pair dance of the jazz direction, the partner swings and spins (swings) his partner in a series of dance moves and body movements. The most spectacular movement for the audience was when the guy supported the hands of the girl with his hands and both partners, swaying, moved forward along the same line to start a new movement. The term swing itself owes its birth to Duke Ellington and his song “If It Ain't Got That Swing.”

All this, of course, the transfer of the poetic image. But the problem is that by sex swing everyone understands his own. For some, swing is a joint erotic pastime of two long-time family-friendly couples who are not jealous of each other. For others, swing is a beautiful name for any group sex on the initiative of a different-sex couple with the first counter-cross. For the third it is generally a free-play attitude towards sex. The word is one, but behind each of its understanding there is a different meaning, a different psychology of relationships and different rules of the game according to complexity.

Swing is usually understood as sex with an exchange of partners, but there are forms of swing without such an exchange (and even non-contact swing in general). Therefore, when communicating for the first time with potential partners, it is better to check with them immediately what they mean. Otherwise, you risk to easily get into the situation in the garden of elder, and in Kiev, uncle - and you are guaranteed unpleasant feelings. Our couple starts in his understanding of swing from the fact that there should be an erotic, and then sexual interaction of two (maximum - three) friendly related to each other pairs.

About Rubicon

Entry into the swing can be likened to the passage through the Rubicon. In other words, you shouldn’t be particularly deceived that, having been with another couple in bed, you can easily give up the swing if you don’t like this contact. With great probability you will stay in swing. Because if you like the experience, then why not continue it. And if you do not like it, then you will look for a more suitable pair. We need very serious and personally deep reasons to get out of the swing. It would not be a great exaggeration to say that the debut in real life, the first transition from meetings in a cafe to a meeting in bed is a one-way ticket. So take this decision responsibly. This is exactly the case about which they say: If you sow an act, you will reap the fate.

About simulators

Keep in mind that far from everyone who enters with you in correspondence, probes the level of interestingness of a possible meeting with you in real life. There is an unpleasant part of the correspondents who, by definition, does not plan to meet with you as sex partners from the very beginning. These are imitators of pairs. Usually these are cheeky young people, and even teenagers in general.

After all, the Internet provides ample opportunities for anonymity and mimicry in online communication. The motivation of imitators may be different. Some people collect frequent intimate photos (if the questionnaire mentions about intimate photos, then this is a 100% imitators questionnaire).If everything looks normal in correspondence and after a certain number of letters you are offered to you before the first meeting in real life, intimate photos will be canceled almost certainly imitators (exhibitionists among couples, of course, are found, but quite rarely). You can send them with inspiration and the most exciting expectations your photos of delicate properties, and in response to receive, for example, a file with a virus or a photo of a hairy ass at the time of a bowel movement. Such here these hocks is a kind of national sport.

There are also simulators of artistic properties. For some reason, they have no chance of a normal sex life (for example, it may be disabled). They are excited by imitating a super-attractive (in their understanding) pair in the correspondence for some time. Some are preparing for the role of the simulator thoroughly and with gusto, storing in advance from the Internet ordinary and intimate private photos of some not very well-known couple porn lovers, arrange the correspondence with you for two voices male and female, etc. This game may be harmless. But just in case, keep in mind that as long as you did not meet with the couple you are interested in in real life or did not talk on the phone and a man and a woman, do not completely rule out that you are dealing with a phantom of another's imagination.

However, most imitators are not very smart and often give themselves away on the first or second letter (for example, they lie and start contradicting their previous texts; after all, simulators tend to correspond with dozens of couples at the same time). But, probably, there are also quite advanced representatives of this direction of inflating sexually excited brains, in virtual contact with which you can lose annoyingly much time.

Oh forever beginners.

There is one more unpromising category of contactees. They can be likened to an overly legible, undifferentiated age-holders waiting for an abstract prince, who for some reason must necessarily appreciate in them that which is not sufficiently appreciated by others. If we compare swing with the market (as with the place of exchange), then these pairs bargain long and hard, actively discussing the possibilities of supply / demand, but never buy. By the way, in our experience of correspondence in such couples, not men, but women usually rule. And in general, keep in mind if a female voice dominates in a couple communicating with you by correspondence, and a man is barely audible, then the probability of an interesting swing perspective is minimal.

About your positioning among swingers.

Among the couples who actually practice swing, one can see (at least by correspondence) a rather wide range of styles of interaction with other couples. At one end of this spectrum are disposable, and at the other only. Between these extremes there are at least 3 intermediate categories: runners, border guards and permanent ones.

We understand as one-time couples who fundamentally seek one-time contacts. They get sex with strangers or semi-strangers. They sort of try the new ones and, immediately breaking off all the contacts with them after the first sex, rush forward to the next new pair for them. Leaving you in complete bewilderment and hard thinking about what they did not like you with. But it's not about your merits or shortcomings, but the fact that this couple is already looking for new ones for themselves, and you have become a waste material for them.

Of course, disposables are not interested to warn partners in advance about their disposability. From the point of view of medical safety, sexual contact with disposables is most risky. Accurate statistics, of course, no; but for orientation, it is quite possible to assume that the proportion of one-time swingers is approximately 20%.

The exact opposite of disposables are the only ones.These are those couples who for a certain period (six months or a year) make an agreement with another couple that they will not have sexual contacts outside of these four. The only ones - it is extremely rare among swingers. Their share can be conditionally estimated as 0, 01%.

Runners are couples whose not all swing contacts are disposable, but they are still a clear majority. They may not aspire specifically for one-time contacts, but really they have it ...