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- Ale ... Yes, we prepared ... does it mean in the program "The Stirrup"? Okay. Having a hearty breakfast, in Ksyusha two hours later they were standing by the television building.
- Ok, above the roots, and go! - commanded the chairman. They entered a bright, huge building, stuffed with some kind of equipment, televisions, computers, cameras and other bells and whistles.
The first steps in the studio were met with desperate shots and foul language.
- What, action shoot? - Andrew asked the electrician, who was shaking under the pressure.
“No,” he replied, straightening his eyes in his eye sockets, “this is the Live broadcast of February 23, the 1x1 program.”
In the center of the hall, leading Apex Lyubimov, wearing a gas mask, built terrible grimaces on petrified spectators.
- You see the culmination of the conversation between the representative of the BTR Party, Wolfenstein, and the representative of the watermelon party, Yablonsky. There is a stinky shootout of gas weapons. The cameraman was seriously injured - a bullet hit his nostrils, all the cameras were fogged, the 1997 budget from the birth of Christ was being discussed, namely the issue of discount tickets to the circus for participants in the Kulikovo battle.
Suddenly, advertising began.
opens branch "Tender Husband."
We take care of couples and children.
We supply all families:
- the book “1001 excuse for a husband”
- rolling pin for women
- traps for mothers-in-law
- payroll detectors for women
- anti-detector for men
- the book "Where a man has an anti-detector"
- setting the volume control on the babies (newborns)
- fantastic book "Son - no problem"
- horror film for children "Dad found a deuce"
- copiers for diaries
Commercial Children's Home "Poor devil" opens a seasonal sale of children coupons. 1 ticket - 10 kilograms of deton. Wholesale buyers - discount. The following entertainment events will be held during the fair:
- carriage blevalka
- auto trailer
- a review wheel
- typo-vice versa
- paddle pack
- steam-explosive
- swing-suddenly snack
- centrifugal squeezer
- room-laughter-Guimplen
- Kalashnikov slot machines
Beyond the fair has already been dug a large waste pit.
Andrei and Ksyusha climbed to the floor above where the children's programs were located. The official sponsor of the program "The Quiet Death, Kids" was AOOT "Poor Man."
- Khryusha, what do we not have Kirkusha today?
- Guess Stapasha.
- Killed what?
- This is me for a long time, and you guess what I did to her today?
- ... Well I do not know...
- And let's ask this kiddies?
- True, write to us, send pictures ...
- ... Corpses also send, if tired. If there is, then the wheels, but they end with us.
- Woof-woof, it's me, wolfhound!
- Oh, scared, damn it. You, Phil, do not do this again, otherwise I can’t find a vein for 2 hours after that.
“Well, where's Aunt Lina?”
- On funeral.
- Whose?
- Own, zadolbal already, children still cartoon to watch!
The animated film was boring.
- It's time to say goodbye to the kids, Phil, say something ...
- I can not say that, Khryug, let you? A screensaver appeared on the TV screen.
- Two times - Freddy will come for you. Three four - better not fall asleep ...
Andrei looked to see if there was a pistol nearby to shoot himself, but the voice from the studio loudly commanded:
- The program "Stirrup", guests in the studio!
Andrei headed towards bright light, and suddenly hundreds of television cameras rested on him. The spotlights blinded him, the audience in the hall applauded passionately, shouting out the names of their favorite political figures. Next to Andrey sat a bearded man of a creepy appearance. For some reason, looking somewhere off to the side, a mile away, he began to say with terrible mimicry and gestures
“One, one, one, bea, bea, bea, eye, snot, python, thoughts, umbrella, corkscrew, butt!
Andrew, frightened, got up and walked off quietly, but the operator stopped him.
- Calm down, you probably for the first time on television! We all the same then all will voice, so do not worry, speak relaxedly.
- Yes, but the answers ...
- Do not worry, we will think of something, you will become a TV star.
Andrew, trembling, sat down again near the TV host.
- ... car, cabbage, cufflink, mentality, credibility? - He finished and looked inquiringly at the interlocutor. Andrei did not know what to answer, the question was not an easy one, but after thinking, the guest still found the right words:
- Piston rings, body, final drive, crankshaft, steering, clutch.
- Grave-grave?
- Three fog lights!
A voice in a megaphone announced the beginning of a commercial break. Andrei looked back. Ksyusha stood in the corner and trembled like a pounded doe. He took her hand and rather led her away from the insane asylum, the urban television studio. Seeing Grigory Tybrin in the distance, they ran out and under the blows of the rain reached the nearby Mercedes. Ksyusha sat with bulging eyes and looked at the guy who was in a similar condition. Suddenly the stupor was replaced by a loud and ringing laugh, after which they vowed to each other never to participate in such events. The car moved smoothly and carried the youngsters home. “What was Gregory doing here?” Andrei could not find an explanation for what he saw. All loaded, he got out of the car and saw a crowd of friends, acquaintances standing with flowers near his porch. Seeing Andrew, they ran up to him and began alternately hugging him, then pressing his hand.
- Well done, - Seryoga shouted, - you answered remarkably, sharply, with humor, not a single question caught you by surprise! Your phrase, "I believe that our wedding will be an impetus to the prosperity of the collective farm movement, will be the first beacon on the path of the agrarian upsurge." And then you watched the transfer revelation?
- Not.
- ABOUT! There Yegor Irbe spoke. He spoke about his hard working life in the city, that he worked all his life at the plant, that his hands never went away from his palm, and now he became someone in life.
Andrew completely lost from what he heard. He did not answer and silently walked past his friends home. "Sleep, just sleep." Great fatigue bound his body, he did not want to do anything, only to fall on a soft bed and close his eyes again. Ksyusha probably had other plans, she took notes and sat at the desk. There was peace and silence, interrupted only by the blows of drops on the window sill. Andrei did not think about anything, he increasingly left the room to sleep, into a long restful sleep.
Once, a couple of years ago, they were going to the guys at Sanka, buying an incredible amount of vodka, inviting girls, and starting traditional courage. The obligatory attributes of such evening were dances until you drop, a drunken conversation about the meaning of life, and also "gave him, but did not give him." They drank, shouted political slogans from the balcony, caressed their faithful friends, philosophized that, more importantly, vodka or a woman, they managed to fall asleep without actually going to bed. The morning after this was a living hell, the body was scattered into pieces, thoughts, being from the evening in a scattered state, slowly gathered together. Now Andrew experienced a similar condition, with the only difference ... Read more →