* * *

Unexpectedly for O., Jacqueline abruptly cut off their relationship; perhaps she believed that they could somehow negatively affect her relationship with Rene. But here, too, much was not clear, spending almost all the time with Rene, she seemed to keep him at a distance. She looked at him coldly, and when she smiled, it came out from her that somehow stretched and studied. O. fully admitted that the girl gave Renee at night as ardently as she did, but according to Jacqueline’s behavior it was not felt at all. And Rene, and it was noticeable in everything, just went crazy with desire. In it, love woke up, fierce, all-consuming and, at times, seemed unrequited. He talked with O. and Sir Stephen, he had breakfast and lunch with them, he walked, making them company, but he did not see or hear them. He lived only one - - Jacqueline, and most of all he was afraid not to like her. And he also thought, making every effort to understand and understand for himself the meaning of the very existence of Jacqueline, its essence, hidden somewhere out there, under the golden one, with a gentle tan, skin. His efforts were similar to the fact that people do in a dream, trying to grasp the last car of the departing train or grope a saving beam with his hand, feeling the bridge falling apart under their feet. He wanted to break this big doll and, looking inside, to understand what kind of mechanism makes it squeak and cry like that.

“Yes,” O. told herself. “Now, it seems, the day I was so afraid came when Rene left me and I become for him just another shadow from his past life. And I do not feel sad, I just feel sorry for him. There is no bitterness or resentment in my heart. He leaves me, well, that is his right, the right of a man. And what about my love? After all, I myself only a few weeks ago was dying for his only word - I love. And so, I'm so calm now? I was comforted? But no, I was not just comforted - - I am happy, and it turns out that having given me to Sir Stephen, he opened me, thereby, for a new, even stronger love. But it’s impossible to compare the two of them: gentle, gentle Rene and stern, adamant Sir Stephen. ”

What a peace, what a delight for her was this sensation of darkness, emanating from the metal rings inserted into her flesh. This stigma, forever given to her by Sir Stephen, this ignorant pity, tearing her flesh from the master’s hand and his cold restrained love — was nothing more tender and sweeter for O. now. It so happened, she told herself, that she loved Rene only to learn this feeling, to learn to give herself, so that in the end, to become a grateful slave to Sir Stephen.

* * *

Be that as it may, but to see Rene, always so free, confident in herself (and she loved him for it), who now finds no place for herself, tossing and suffering, was unbearable for her. It filled her with real hatred for Jacqueline. Did Rene figure this out? Probably - - yes, especially after the incident that occurred when she and Jacqueline traveled to Cannes, to the salon of fashionable hairstyles.

Coming out of the salon, they sat on the terrace of La Residente and ate ice cream. The children were running around and making noises, and Jacqueline smiled at them. In her tight trousers and black light sweater, she was so tanned and blond, so bold and unapproachable, she seemed to be a little company O. She said that she had an appointment with one director who was shooting her then in Paris wants to shoot it on the nature, apparently, somewhere in the mountains. The director was not long in coming. O. immediately realized that the young man was in love with Jacqueline, it was clear by the way he looked at her. He adored and idolized her.

"And this is not surprising," - said O.Surprisingly was another - - Jacqueline's behavior. Leaning back in her chair, she lazily listened about some days and days of the week, some meetings, how hard it was to find money to make a film, and much more. Turning to her, the man called her "you." Sometimes with a head movement she answered him “yes” or “no” and languidly covered her eyes. O. sat opposite Jacqueline, and it was not difficult for her to notice that Jacqueline, from under her eyelids lowered, was closely watching a man and with pleasure caught the signs of the fierce desire that she evokes in him. She often did this before, thinking that no one notices. But even more strange was the fact that this frank desire, however, confused her. She became very serious and restrained. With Rene, she never was. Only once a fleeting smile appeared on her lips. This happened when O. leaned over to the table to pour herself mineral water, and their gazes met. In an instant, they understood each other, but if not the slightest anxiety was reflected on Jacqueline's face, O. felt that she was beginning to blush.

- - You feel bad? - Jacqueline asked her. - - Wait, we are going now. However, I must admit, the blush is right for you.

Then she looked up and smiled at her companion. There was so much bliss, passion and desire in this smile that O. seemed impossible to resist against her. She waited for the man to rush at Jacqueline and start kissing her. But no. He was still too young to know how much shamelessness and lust sometimes lurk in women under the mask of permissive indifference. He let Jacqueline stand up. She extended her hand to him, said that she would certainly call him, but now she must go. He confusedly said goodbye and for a long time afterwards he stood on the sidewalk, under the mercilessly scorching sun, looking after him, who was moving away along the wide Buike Avenue and his goddess who was taking him away.

- - And do you like him? - - O. asked Jacqueline when they drove onto the highway running along the high eaves protruding above the boundless azure sea.

- - And what do you want from that? - answered Jacqueline.

- - I do not care, but it concerns Rene.

- - I suppose that if anything really concerns René, Sir Stephen, and another two or three dozen men, it is that you are sitting now, with your legs crossed and me with your skirt.

O. stayed seated as she sat.

- - Why are you silent? - - Evil asked Jacqueline. - - Or am I not right?

But O. no longer listened to her. Does Jacqueline really want to scare her, - thought O. - - Really threatened to tell her about this little misdemeanor to Sir Stephen, did she seriously think to stop her from telling Rene about everything? stupid O. without hesitating for a second would have done it, but she knew that the news of Jacqueline’s deception could finally break him. In addition, O. was afraid, and admitted to herself that Rane’s rage could turn on her like a messenger who brought bad news. What O. did not know was how to convince Jacqueline that if she remained silent, it was only for this reason, and not because of some kind of silly threats and fear of possible punishment? How to explain this to her?

Until the house itself, they did not exchange another word. Stepping out of the car, Jacqueline leaned over and plucked a flower of geranium from a flowerbed, broken under the very windows of the house. She squeezed him in the palm of her hand, and O., who was standing nearby, felt the delicate and strong aroma of a flower. Maybe in this way she wanted to hide the tart smell of her sweat, the sweat from which her sweater darkened under her arms and now even more tightly adhered to her body. Entering the house and rising into the living room - - it was a large hall, with whitewashed walls and red-tiled floors - - - they met Rene there.

- - However, you are late, - he said, having seen them, and then, turning to O., added: - - Sir Stephen has been waiting for you for a long time. He seems to be out of sorts.

Jacqueline laughed out loud. O. felt that she was starting again ... Read more →